


It's You

by happily_missy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Zayn, Breathplay, Comeplay, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Fluff, Harry is clumsy, Lirry Bromance, Long haired Zayn, M/M, Masturbation, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Pining, Praise Kink, Rimming, Sexual Abuse, Smut, Spanking, Subspace, Top Liam, safe words, tmh liam, zayn is delicate, zouis bromance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2018-08-29 21:27:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 51,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8506024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happily_missy/pseuds/happily_missy
Summary: Liam is a PA for a famous fashion designer and Zayn is their gorgeous new model. or the one where Liam is in control of everything except for the fact that he keeps getting hard around Zayn and Zayn refuses to admit that yes he wants Liam to push him up against a wall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot, I swear to god, but 3k in and I was still on the first chapter. whoops. sorry not sorry.
> 
> Massive thank you to my editor Liz and my beta Julia. You are both beautiful humans.  
> Thank you to all my friends and Ziam stans who read this on grainy ass pictures taken from my phone. Love you guys and thanks for believing in me. 
> 
> No idea how long this is gonna be.  
> Please leave comments and kudos if you like it!

Liam's job was becoming difficult and it was entirely Zayn Malik’s fault.

Well, the actual work wasn’t hard, he _loved_ his job. He had the privilege of working for Harry Styles, one of the best fashion designers in the UK, and it was an absolute dream. Being in the fashion industry had been a lifelong goal of Liam’s, and now at only 21, it was a reality. He thrived on the fast paced life of London and could barely believe that it had only been two years since he had interviewed for a position as Harry Styles’ own personal assistant. Unfortunately, he wasn’t qualified to be a PA at the time due to his age, but his charm won out, and he was hired as a fitting assistant to the models. Liam didn’t mind the change in position; truthfully he was so shocked they hired him at all that he rang his mum immediately and told her he was moving to London ASAP. Not surprisingly, she sobbed into the phone, telling him she was of course so proud but would miss him terribly, and he could hear his dad’s sniffles in the background saying, “Karen, keep it together love.” Liam assured them everything would be fine because he knew even then that his new life was about to begin.

No longer would Liam be known as that kid; the one who got bullied or forgotten. The one everyone made fun for his quiet demeanor and superhero t-shirts. No more missed out parties spent alone in his room with nothing but his music. Liam had spent most of his childhood keeping to himself, sketching out designs and wishing for a life where he could be important, and that is exactly what this job had in store for him; it was a place he could actually make a name for himself. He went back home after the interview, packed his bags, and moved to the city. His dad even loaned him some money for a down payment on his studio apartment - It was a shithole but it was _his_ shithole - which he promised over and over again that he would pay back. “When you can, son,” Geoff had said has he hugged him goodbye. “I’m just proud of you, that’s all. Go out and show ‘em who the real Liam Payne is, alright?”

Two years later he had done just that, and he was now Harry Styles’ personal assistant. That shy awkward boy was gone. Liam was confident, fit, and in charge.

All of this was amazing. His life was exactly how he wanted it. He had fun, partied, played video games with Harry and his coworker Niall (an excellent photographer, by the way) as they ate shit and drank each other under the table. He could get laid when he wanted, he was excellent at his job, and he was well respected.

No, the current problem was Zayn Malik. He was going to fuck everything up, Liam just knew it.

Zayn Malik was the newest model contracted for their winter line, and he was insanely gorgeous. Actually, Liam thinks gorgeous is an understatement. He could barely form two sentences around this guy, not with his perfect face that looked as if God had actually handcrafted it himself, or his honey brown eyes that sparkled like the sun, or his smile that made the whole room light up; it just wasn’t fair. Now, Liam was attractive in his own right (he had been told enough times how fit he was by many of the models he’d worked with) but he was nothing in comparison to this angelic creature he was now forced to share space with. Even Zayn’s hair was perfect, almost black in colour, and it fell with such grace and ease; a beautiful frame for and even more stunning face. Liam had caught himself more than once almost reaching out to move this one rebellious strand of hair out of Zayn’s face, but he always stopped himself just short, horrified that he had even thought about it.  At those moments Zayn had just smiled at him almost knowingly, never mentioning it.

Liam was going to die from embarrassment or from the sheer beauty of this man, he knew it. Either way, his death was eminent.

Their first meeting was uneventful enough, thankfully. Harry had come up to Liam’s office on a boring Wednesday afternoon and knocked on his door.

“Knock, knock,” Harry said, a goofy smile on his face.

Liam didn’t even look up from his desk, pretending to focus extra hard on the words in front of him. He hated paper work, but anything was better than Harry’s stupid jokes. “Not now, Haz, I’m busy.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be that way,” Harry said, sounding faintly put out, but Liam just rolled his eyes, “Fine, but I have something that will cheer you up!” his smile suddenly turned wicked as Liam looked up to meet his gaze.

“And what would that be? Oh god, please don’t tell me you tried cooking again? Remember the disaster during the last company party? You cannot go into the kitchen anymore.”

“No, no, nothing like that.” Harry laughed, and then called out the door, “Jade! Can you bring Zayn here for me please? Thanks, love,” and then he just continued to smile at Liam, almost bouncing with excitement.

“What? What’s that look for?” Liam was getting worried as Harry was still grinning, but then Zayn appeared in his doorway and Liam’s mind went utterly blank. Zayn was stunning. There was no other way to describe him. He was dressed in a simple lilac sweater and cutoff boots, but on him the ensemble looked fit for a prince.  His long black hair, that just barely grazed his shoulders, was pulled back in a head band, and Liam had never seen a hair style so becoming on anyone. He melted instantly.

“Liam Payne, I would like you meet Zayn Malik. Zayn, this is Liam, my Personal Assistant. I wouldn’t get anything done without him. He is the mastermind behind everything here. Zayn, here,” Harry was smiling knowingly at Liam by now, but Liam just wanted to vanish into thin air, “is our newest model! He is going to be the face of our winter line.”

Harry turned to Liam expectantly but he just couldn’t seem to move from his chair. Thankfully, Zayn took the initiative and walked over to Liam, extending his hand out to him almost delicately.

“Hey, nice to meet you, yeah ?” Zayn said, and Liam about died right there. Zayn's voice was smooth, and his accent was terribly endearing, but Liam collected himself. He could do this. Be normal. Yes. He accepted Zayn's outstretched hand - his skin was so soft - and Liam definitely held on too long. When Zayn pulled his hand back he just gave Liam this crooked smile, and Liam felt a shiver of warmth run down his spine. He was so fucked. 

“Alrighty, Zayn, that’s all. Thanks for stopping in” Harry said jovially, clapping Zayn on the back and gesturing for him to exit. Zayn gave them both a little wave and was off.  Harry then shut the door behind him and looked at Liam, practically bouncing on his toes. “You like him, right?” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that made Liam roll his own in an effort to seem nonchalant.

“Sod off,” Liam said, feigning calmness. Harry was so fucking annoying sometimes.

“He’s a pretty little thing … nice to have him around for a bit.” Harry was almost laughing at Liam's expense, and Liam wasn’t happy about this. Nope.

“You just like making fun of me. Get out of here, Haz.” Liam waved Harry away with his hand, hoping Harry would get the message. He did, thankfully.

“Oh you love it, don’t lie. I’ll see you at dinner, mate,” Harry said, and he left Liam's office, closing the door behind him. Liam banged his head on his desk.

That was a week ago, and it was now getting to the point where Liam couldn’t do his job; Liam was a professional, for fucks sake! He was going to have to somehow work with Zayn around, but every single time the model even looked his way, Liam forgot about everything he was doing and just stared. Openly. Stared like a fucking idiot. It was so embarrassing.

Once, when Zayn’d had a fitting, Liam caught himself passing by his dressing room. The door was open just enough for him to see inside. What was one little look? He stopped outside the dressing room and peered inside. Zayn was being dressed by Jade, his assistant for the shoot, and Liam just watched his delicate frame being draped in an assortment of beautiful garments. Liam simply stood there, in the open doorway, getting lost in the way everything clung to his body perfectly, and it was only when Zayn looked up at him, his golden eyes locking with Liam’s own, that Liam came to. Zayn didn’t seem bothered by the moment though. He just smiled up at him slightly while moving his hair out of his face. It was as if time froze, both of them staring unblinkingly at each other. Then Liam bolted so fast he almost ran into one of the light stands outside Zayn's door, before hiding away into his office for the rest of the day.   

Even though Liam knew he should stay away from Zayn, he’d had enough embarrassment in his life as a kid and did not need that leaking into his adult life. But he just couldn’t seem to keep himself calm or professional around Zayn. Every inch of his being gravitated towards him and it was becoming a major issue. He was going to have to invest in looser jeans if his body couldn’t get it together soon. It was like he back in high school all over again, trying to hide his boner in the PE locker rooms.

A few days after the dressing room incident, Liam was standing in the common area as techs were setting up for their next shoot, talking with Niall about some ideas Harry had had, when he noticed Zayn walking towards him from across the studio.  He was wearing tight black jeans and a black Henley stretched gorgeously across his chest. Liam froze, stopping mid-sentence. He locked eyes with Niall, begging him to stay with a look, but Niall just laughed and walked away, winking.  Prick. Liam was stuck and Zayn was still walking towards him. There was nothing he could do now. Liam took the opportunity to really look at him. He could see some tattoos peeking out of the top of his shirt (Feathers? Lips? He wasn’t sure) and actually almost whimpered. His long hair was down, brushing at his ears, and when Liam finally made eye contact with Zayn, everything went fuzzy again, just like during their first meeting. He didn’t even register that Zayn was speaking to him until he felt a gentle hand on his arm.

“Everything alright, mate?” Zayn asked politely. God he had a nice voice; thick accent, but not too much. Liam was just now realizing that Zayn was standing right in front of him, touching him, even. How did that even happen? And shit, he was even prettier close up. No imperfections, just absolute beauty. Liam wanted to cry.

_Keep it together Payne._

“Huh?” Proper English seemed to be beyond him at this point and his pep talk completely out the window. He stopped looking at Zayn's face for his own good, and his eyes were drawn to where Zayn’s hand was in contact with his bare arm, his sleeve rolled up. He was suddenly on fire, just lost in the feeling of those hot fingers against his skin. He started imagining how good they would feel on other parts of his body. Thin strong fingers; so soft, but so powerful. Liam shook himself, taking a deep breath, and forced his eyes up to meet Zayn’s. He could do this. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“I asked if Harry was gonna come in today? Just wanted to run a few things by him, if that’s alright? Wasn’t sure if you heard me or not.”

Zayn was smiling, tilting his head toward Liam, and his hand was still on Liam’s arm, his thumb making little circles as if trying to soothe him. Not that that was even possible at this point. The movement burned into Liam and oh, he was so fucked. But Liam nodded, attempting to act like a regular person because he didn’t need to be any more humiliated than he’d already been. He was gonna kill Niall for leaving him alone with this god of a model.

“Yeah,” he managed to choke out. “Harry will be in later. I’ll have him pop in. Where’s your dressing room again?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Liam wanted to kick himself. He knew where Zayn’s dressing room was, and Zayn knew that he knew it, too.

“It’s uh, just right over there, remember?” Zayn pointed to a door behind him, suppressing a small smile. “The door that says ZAYN MALIK on it?” Zayn laughed, not unkindly, but Liam wanted to disappear right in that moment. Zayn's smile never left his face, but he removed his hand from Liam’s arm and Liam felt the emptiness immediately. “Well, great. Just have him swing by if he has the time, yeah?” And then he was gone, disappearing back into his room. It was as if he were an angel, because Liam wasn’t sure if the whole thing had happened or not. He suddenly let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding.

It was then that he decided to avoid Zayn for his own personal sanity .

Two weeks passed by, and Liam was actually doing pretty well, only seeing Zayn in passing, and in those moments, he had actually managed to not make an idiot out of himself. They exchanged small smiles here and there or a quick hello, but for the most part, Liam finally felt like himself again. In control. Everything was going wonderfully.

Or so he thought.

It was a rainy Monday morning as Liam walked into work. It was 7:45 AM and his hands were full of Starbucks for the staff. He pushed open the door to his little office and suddenly Harry was right behind him, seemingly out of breath. He stumbled into Liam and almost made Liam drop coffee all over the floor and himself.

“Li! Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Harry said trying to help Liam steady the cups in his hands. Once he was sure Liam had it all, he shut the door and groaned into his hands. “Liam, thank god you’re here.”

“Hey, Harry, what's wrong?” Liam asked, walking into his room and setting the cups down on his desk. Harry was a safety hazard. He turned around and faced his boss.

“Jade quit.” Harry looked up at Liam miserably, and Liam’s mouth dropped open, almost losing the bite of Danish that he had just taken.

“Are you serious? Fuck, ok … we can fix this. It’s all going to be fine.”

Harry shook his head furiously, his curls bouncing everywhere, seemingly on the verge of tears. “What are you talking about, Liam? She was in charge of Zayn’s _entire fitting_. She knew absolutely everything. His shoot is in an hour and she’s not coming … we’re completely fucked.” Harry moved further into Liam’s office and collapsed into a chair, his hands over his face again.

God, Liam loved Harry, but problems were not his forte. Over the last year they had somehow become best friends, despite Harry being Liam's boss. When you worked so closely with someone, you either hated them or loved them, and thankfully it was latter with Harry. He wasn’t stuck up or proud or weirdly posh like most designers. He was cool and funny and downright silly most of the time; his quirkiness only added to his genius. But in their relationship, Liam was the composed one, the fixer, the problem solver.

Liam put his Danish down and took a deep breath. Jesus Christ, this is exactly what he needed today. It was Monday and it was raining; he should’ve known something was going to go catastrophically wrong.  He ran his fingers through his short hair, twisting at the ends nervously. “So why are you coming to me, mate?” Liam asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer, and he wasn’t going to like it.

“Come on, Liam, you know why I’m here,” Harry said, lifting his green eyes up to meet Liam’s brown ones. “You know all of it. You’ve fucking memorized every piece I’ve ever designed.”

“No,” Liam says resolutely, not even allowing Harry to get to the point.

“Liam,” Harry pleads, “It’s got to be you, mate.”

“Harry, no.  Come on, that’s an intern’s job. That’s what I did when I first got here. I’m better than that now, you know that.” Liam looked at Harry, inwardly begging his best mate to not see the real reason he was saying no.  If Harry made Liam do this, he would be charge of dressing and undressing Zayn _personally_. He, Liam Payne, would have to touch Zayn Malik’s perfect body and somehow act professional. His plan had been working so well! Fuck his whole life. Seriously, if he almost got a semi just from looking at guy, Liam doesn’t even want to think what would happen if had to see him naked. 

“Ok, well I wanted to give you the chance to say yes, but really, Liam, you don’t have much of a choice. You’re the only one who can do this on such short notice.” Harry stood up from Liam's desk resolutely, grabbing the coffees and making to leave the office, but he turned back. “Now I know you get a stiffy every time you see the kid, but maybe try and form a few actual sentences around him, yeah?” Harry let out a laugh at Liam's horrified face. “Aww, babe, you didn’t think I noticed? That’s cute, but you’re easier to read than a children’s book, hate to break it to you. Also,” Harry was leaning against Liam's door frame now, still chuckling at his friends inability to speak, “I caught you adjusting your jeans during his last shoot.” And with that, he ducked out of Liam's office.

“I was not!” Liam yelled, scrambling out of his door to yell at Harry, but his boss was already walking away, gleefully handing out coffee to their staff. And in reality, yes, Liam might have gotten hard during Zayn's last photoshoot, but fuck if he was gonna actually admit that to anyone, let alone Harry fucking Styles. He’d never hear the end of it.

Liam was immobilized, still watching Harry as he entered his own his office situated across the studio, “You’ll be fine, Payno.  Thanks for doing this!” He shot an open-mouthed Liam a smirk before closing the door behind him.

Fuck.

He closed his door and clicked the lock shut. Thankfully, there were no windows looking out into the studio, because Liam was about to have a proper freak out. What was he going to do? He had to just shut it down, shut down all feelings. But could he? Oh god, _could he_? And honestly, what did he expect, for Zayn Malik, god amongst men, to actually look twice at him? Not even possible.

If Harry was going to make him do this, then fine, but he would just be fucking normal about it. He’d done this before, hundreds of times. Dressing models is easy, and he had been around beautiful men before. He could do this. He had to.

 Liam went to his desk and ruffled through his filing cabinet with all of Harry’s designs for the upcoming shoot perfectly organized. He quickly found the file marked ZAYN MALIK, popped it out of the drawer, and shut it again. Liam looked around his office looking for something to ground him. He had it decorated similar to his room back home; Batman and Harry Potter paraphernalia, DC and Marvel comics displayed on his book shelf, and pictures of his mum and dad and sisters. His mum had bought him this potted plant and put it right in the corner to try and bring some Zen into his life; at least that’s what she said. His office wasn’t big, just enough room for his desk and the book shelf and that plant really, but that was all he needed. Harry always offered him more space, but Liam liked his homey office, and it was right where all the action took place and he wanted to be as useful as possible.

Unfortunately, right now, at least, that meant him being completely humiliated, he was sure of it. But it was for Harry, and he knew he had to do it. More than one person had told Harry to not promote Liam, saying he was too young, too new, but Harry believed in him. Liam didn’t take that for granted. So he shook himself and placed his hands on his wooden desk, feeling the grooves beneath his fingertips, and took a deep breath. “Alright Payno, let’s go dress Zayn Malik.”

He picked up the folder and walked out of his office, the half-eaten Danish forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn Malik, it's nice to meet you.
> 
> Delicate, gorgeous, dainty, Zayn. And his long hair? I can't. He's so pretty I wanna cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter a lot. I'm not sorry for any of it. :o)
> 
> Massive thanks to my beta Julia and my editor Liz. ya'll are great friends, seriously.  
> Plus Julia you KNOW the shit in here is for you.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did!  
> Please leave comments and kudos! means the absolute world to me.  
> Xoxo

Zayn was exhausted. He sat in his comfy dressing room chair, spinning it around so as to avoid the vanity mirror that was positioned directly in front of him. He had his nose buried in one of his favorite _Ironman_ comics adamantly refusing to look at himself in the mirror because he knew it was going to be a rough sight. Why did he let Louis drag him out last night? His piece of shit roommate knew that his shoot was this morning, but fuck if that little asshat cared about his early schedule. Zayn had known Louis since they could walk and talk, and he loved him to death, but he was a little shit sometimes, now being one of those times.

Thankfully, Zayn wasn’t hungover; he hoped Louis was though. Hoped that wanker was stuck in his bathroom just chucking it over a toilet. Zayn gave a huge yawn, stretching his lean limbs, absently wondering where Jade was; she was usually right on time for his fittings, but he was really too sleepy to care very much. He pulled his legs up onto the chair and tried curling himself into a tiny ball. All he wanted to do was crawl back into bed, but this chair would have to do for now. Zayn closed his eyes for a second and thought that maybe, if Jade didn’t show up, they’d cancel the shoot and he could go home. He smiled for only a moment because this wasn’t likely, not with Liam running things. That kid was no joke. But, at least he was nice to look at, that definitely made his bossy attitude a bit more tolerable.

In all honesty, Zayn didn’t know what to make of Liam, and Zayn could always read people; it was one of his many talents. But one moment Liam was stuttering and stumbling around him, which frankly Zayn was used to having had enough avid admirers in his life, and the next moment Liam gave him absolutely nothing. He would act as if Zayn wasn’t anything more than a fly on the wall. Now Zayn wasn’t vain per se, but he knew he was, and there was no other word for it, pretty. There was a reason that he had been contracted as the face of Harry Styles’ entire winter line. They had desired someone interesting, gorgeous, and effeminate. Zayn was all these things. No point denying it. So what was up with Liam Payne?

Liam acted like he was into Zayn, almost too much, but at the turn of a dime he acted as if he couldn’t care less. Zayn was sure that the latter was just Liam being too focused with making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be at the correct time (controlling much?) while also keeping an extra eye on Harry, making sure he didn’t trip over a ridiculously expensive camera or something. That job really was very important, though. Harry was incredibly clumsy - brilliant, but a genuine danger to himself and others. Zayn chuckled, remembering when Harry had tripped over his own feet during one of Zayn’s first shoots on the project, causing Niall, his photographer, to have to stop everything and catch him while Liam lunged forward, steadying the heavy camera upright again. The whole thing should’ve been unprofessional, but it was just endearing.

But Liam, god, he was confusing.

 Not that Zayn really cared. Honestly, Liam wasn’t his type. I mean physically he was … quite attractive. Zayn wasn’t blind. Liam was fucking fit, but not too much, just the perfect amount to be able to push Zayn up against one of the walls of his small dressing room. Zayn squirmed slightly in his chair, his fingers nudging at the waistband of his sweats, trying to not think about what that might mean. But Liam had these soft brown eyes that were inviting, and he had just a touch of scruff on his face, which Zayn had definitely NOT imagined how that would feel against his inner thigh, teeth bruising marks into him that would last for days. Ok, Zayn needed to stop thinking about him, now.   

 They had shared some small moments where Liam would turn and catch his eye, lips curling up ever so slightly, almost knowingly. It was in those moments that Zayn could swear he saw Liam’s brown eyes darken for a moment, before Liam was shaking his head and walking away.   

But all in all, Zayn decided, Liam was too high strung for him with a touch of boring.

Fuck, but even after all that, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was just past 8 AM, there was no way he could be getting hard now.  Zayn adjusted his sweatpants again, but his mind continued to wander. There was always a glimmer of promise in Liam’s gaze, and Zayn had no idea how he felt about it. Well he KNEW how his dick felt about it right now, but that wasn’t the point. Jesus Christ, he was here to work, not fuck around with the designer’s PA. Please, he was a professional, and Liam would probably be terrible in bed, just missionary or something. Yes, Zayn would definitely pass on that. 

He swiveled around in his chair again, thinking hard about a very cold shower, hoping to simmer himself down. Jade would take the mickey out of him if she caught him hard. Shit, where was she anyways?  He was already in his sweats and t-shirt, ready for his fitting, and there was really nothing more he could do until she arrived; she absolutely forbade him from doing anything himself (one too many garment mishaps). So he just sank further into his chair and tried to enjoy his comic in peace, doing his best to ignore his dick and whatever the hell it was doing this morning.

A few minutes passed by and Zayn was now really starting to worry and reading about _Ironman_ wasn’t helping his tented situation at the moment. Wasn’t she usually here by now? He checked his phone; it was already 8:15 and he had to be dressed for hair and makeup by 9.  This was definitely odd, but it was too early and it was raining AND it was Monday. Screw Louis for keeping his ass out past 2 AM last night. His body was tired because of Louis and he was hard because of Liam. Happy fucking Monday to him.

Annoyed with idea of Liam as Ironman, because yes, that’s what his brain had decided to torture him with this morning, Zayn tossed the comic onto the vanity and sat up in his chair, finally allowing himself to assess his own reflection in the mirror. His thick black hair was down and framing his face nicely, or at least he thought so. He had miraculously remembered to shave before coming into the studio, so that was a plus, and though his skin was a little paler than normal, at least it wasn’t green from all that vodka. Again, not his fault. He smacked his face lightly and dragged the skin under his eyes down. Fuck they looked tired. He needed coffee. Maybe one of the assistants could go get him one while he was being fitted? Yea, good idea, Zayn.

He smiled to himself as he got up from his chair and walked towards the door. He was just about to turn the knob when it actually opened itself, scaring the shit out of Zayn.

“Fucking hell!” he practically yelled at whoever was at the door while clutching his chest, glad that his loose sweatpants had stayed on. He looked up to see who he would blame his near death experience on, and the words got lost in his throat. It was Liam.

Liam Payne himself was standing in the doorway, holding a tray with two cups of coffee in it, and looking annoyingly beautiful in tight black jeans and a fitted green button up. Zayn did not need Liam being pretty right now … and he was pretty sure his dick had just jumped. This was a fucking nightmare.

Stupid Liam Payne.  But the man did have coffee; he’ll give him points there.

“Oh, sorry,” Liam said as he gave him a small smile, his eyes crinkling at the corner, and Zayn backed up slightly because they were way too close and his sweatpants were too thin, “didn’t mean to run into you there, mate. You ok?” Liam paused and gingerly put a hand on Zayn's shoulder, looking concerned but as if he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle the moment, and it was then that Zayn noticed he still had a hand over his own chest. He dropped it instantly, and began to fiddle with the strings on his sweats, eyes on the floor. Liam was much too close, and his hand was getting very hot on his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, shit. I’m fine,” Zayn attempted breeziness. “Just scared the fucking daylights out of me, that’s all.” Zayn scratched at his clean shaven skin, trying to seem nonchalant. “Long nights don’t agree with early mornings, right?” They were still standing in the doorway, only a foot away from each other, Liam's hand still on his shoulder, and Zayn wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about the proximity. He definitely did not have an issue being near a beautiful man, but considering that man was Liam and he was wearing sweatpants and his dick was thoroughly misbehaving today, he felt distance was a much better option.

“Oi, I feel like a right tosser now. Totally should’ve knocked,” Liam was laughing now, slightly stumbling over his words, but Zayn thought it was cute, actually. Liam removed his hand from Zayn’s shoulder and ran it through his short brown hair down to his neck and his face, scratching at his scruff there. He seemed to do that a lot, or Zayn just noticed things. Nervous habit, maybe? But he had nice strong hands and Zayn was suddenly mesmerized by Liam’s fingers, which were tracing light lines on his own face. Zayn's eyes dropped to Liam’s arms, and he had seen them before, of course, but now Liam had rolled his sleeves up and he could see all the definition just waiting to be explored. Was there a tattoo there? He couldn’t see properly, but maybe if he craned is neck a little … _what the fuck are you doing?_ Zayn's body might be asleep, but his dick was definitely awake. There was no doubt in his mind that Liam could lift him up with absolute ease.  Zayn's eyes flicked to the wall of his dressing room, but then he shook himself. Liam was still standing there in front of him expectantly.

_Fuck, get it together Malik. You don’t have time for this. He’s the fucking PA._

It was definitely getting hot in his dressing room, no denying it now, and Liam was moving closer to him, arm now back on his shoulder, sending warmth all the way through his body. Maybe sweatpants weren’t a good idea.  

“Well, do you mind if I come in?” Liam suddenly had an awkward expression on his face as he dropped his hand and gripped the coffee tray. As if the motion had reminded him, he said, “Oh, this is for you,” and he picked up one of the coffees, offering it to Zayn. “Not sure if it’s how you like: just cream and sugar.”

“Thanks, man. Yeah, that’s fine. Been saying all morning that I needed this,” Zayn said, trying to discern Liam’s abrupt change of mood as he accepted the coffee from Liam’s outstretched hand. Zayn cocked his head to the side, “Um, is something wrong?”

“Well yes, but we have a,” Liam paused before he continued, not meeting Zayn’s eyes, “solution.” He began scratching at his neck again and Zayn realized that they were still in the fucking doorway, still two feet apart, and he was still in very thin sweatpants.

“Well come in, tell me about it,” Zayn muttered, finally ripping himself back away from Liam and letting the man (man? Boy? How old was he?) into his dressing room. “Should I close the door?” Zayn asked tentatively, praying silently that it didn’t come off as awkward.

“Actually, yes, if that’s ok with you?” Liam said as he walked passed Zayn, his excellent cologne hitting Zayn so hard he had to blink, not because it was too much, but because it was just so _Liam_ that Zayn could focus only enough to click the door shut and lean his back against it with a heavy sigh. They were alone now. In his dressing room. A week ago, Zayn wouldn’t have even spared a thought if Liam had pressed him up against this very door, his hard body hot against his own, and yet now that was all he could fucking thing about. Zayn’s mind was humming.

_Push me up against the wall, don’t take it easy …_

Zayn needed to get it together and fast.

“You can have my chair, mate” Zayn said, holding in a smile. He couldn’t help it; Liam had gone from a beaming ray of sunshine to an awkward school in kid in three seconds flat. “I won’t bite, I promise,” he added with a small chuckle, winking at Liam. He almost immediately wanted to smack himself.

 _What the fuck, Zee?_ But Liam seemed to actually calm down with that and walked over to the solitary chair, setting his coffee right next to Zayn's comic.

“Oi, you like _Ironman,_ mate?” Liam commented, nodding at the comic book.

“Yeah…” Zayn said slowly, memories of all the bullying he received in high school for liking comics. No, he was an adult now, a fucking _model_ , he didn’t have to hide this shit anymore. “Yeah, that’s one of my favourites. Bring it round when I have some down time here.”

“Cool,” Liam replied, and he seemed to be genuinely interested, his eyes even lighting up a little. “I’m a batman guy meself.”

He seemed to be stalling now, and he still hadn’t sat down yet. He had his back to Zayn and Zayn was about to walk over to him when Liam suddenly turned around and said, without any lead up, “Jade quit.”

“What?” Zayn pushed himself off the door, his heart dropping a little as he tried to process the information. “Why? I don’t understand? What happened?” Zayn had liked Jade. She was nice, funny, made the time go by quick.

“Uhh, yeah,” Liam cleared his throat, his voice turning suddenly professional. “We are unsure of her reasoning at the moment, but she has left us.” Liam said and he finally took a seat. His body language changed almost at once and he took a deep breath. “Okay, I have to get this next part out fast or I never will”

“Get what out fast?” Zayn was looking at Liam, who was looking down at his own brown combat boots.

“I am charge of your fittings now,” Liam said matter of factly, still not looking at Zayn, “I know your entire set. All of it.” Liam was twisting his hands together, and even though Zayn thought he looked nervous, he spoke in a flat, calculated voice, “I make it a point to memorize all of Harry’s designs before a shoot, so it just so happens that I’m the only one who can take over for her. So,” he finally looked up at Zayn and their eyes locked ( _finally,_ Zayn couldn’t help but think), “That’s … That’s why I’m here”

Zayn’s mouth fell open.

“You?” He didn’t mean it to come out so high pitched, but he could hardly believe what was happening. How could Liam Payne be in charge of dressing him? Not only was this going to be awkward as fuck, just because this was an intern’s job, and Liam practically ran the show here, but …

Zayn shifted in his sweatpants and stared at the ground. This was going to be so weird. He couldn’t look at Liam, instead watching as his bare toes grazed the floor, eternally grateful that his semi had gone down; but with the way things were going ,it seemed as if that wouldn’t last long.

Liam was going to be touching him. Undressing him and seeing him, all of him, and it was becoming increasingly clear to him how he felt about this. Jesus Christ his dick needed to get it under control today.

But that wasn’t what was bothering Zayn the most. No. What frustrated him was that this _shouldn’t_ bother him. It wasn’t a big deal. Zayn had hot guys fit him all time, and they fawned over him and slipped their numbers in his pockets once the shoots were over, and sometimes he called and sometimes he didn’t. He never got affected, attached, involved. It just wasn’t his thing. He was Zayn Malik, for Christ’s sake.

Not that any of those were happening with Liam, because frankly, he wouldn’t allow it, though his fucking cock seemed to want to get very involved; what a traitor. Why had he suddenly lost control over his body to this … this kid!

                Speaking of which …

“How old are you?” Zayn blurted out, finally lifting his eyes back to Liam’s. They were incredibly warm and he looked like a lost puppy right then, so taken aback by Zayn’s questions.

“I’m 21, why?”

“Just wondering, ya know? You look young, but not, but you have this adult job and I was just curious.” Zayn was babbling now, and he could see a small smile starting to creep onto Liam’s face.

“Yeah, I’m young, but not that young. Been working here for two years, and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Not real keen on having to come back and do intern work, but gotta help Harry out, right?”

“Yeah, course,” Zayn said, deflating slightly at his words. Was he disappointed? Did he expect Liam to be excited to dress him? I mean, if he was being honest, everyone was always excited to dress him. Whatever, he refused to care.

“So,” Liam stood up, his boots making an impressive thud on the floor as he walked across the room. “Not to make this, like, 100% more awkward than this is, but its 8:30 now, and you need to be dressed by 9, so we have to get started … now.” Liam turned his head over his shoulder to look at Zayn, who was still standing stock still in the middle of the small room. “Is that ok?”

“Shit, yeah … sure, no problem,” Zayn managed to get out. How could Liam go from being an absolute moron around him to this calm and collected guy? And now Zayn was the one being an idiot. Liam had begun shuffling through the assortment of clothes hung perfectly on the rack marked ZAYN MALIK, humming to himself ( _really Payne?_ ), and Zayn could actually see Liam’s forearm quite clearly now, the mystery tattoo revealing itself.

“Why do you have 4 great big arrows on your arm, mate?” Shit that sounded rude. “Sorry if that came out rude, I mean, they look sick … Love tattoos, meself.” Zayn needed to stop talking now before he embarrassed himself even more. He heard Liam chuckle, his head almost lost in rack of clothes, obviously trying to grab something.

“Yeah, well, I got them for my family,” Liam huffed. “They’re for my mum and dad and two sisters. Didn’t think to include myself cause I’m an idiot, but yeah.” Liam pulled the hanger he was obviously looking for off the rack with a flourish. The garment was covered in black protective plastic, (“to protect against you, ya know,” Jade used to joke at him with a wink, always giving him a quick peck on the cheek to know she meant no harm) and Liam began to carefully unzip the covering. “You,” he continued, looking up at Zayn now, almost giving him a once over, Zayn was sure of it, “seem to love tattoos as well, man, I bet you’re covered.”

And Zayn, definitely not imagining it, watched as Liam’s eyes scanned his body. Zayn’s cheeks went pink as he tried to ignore the slight excitement pooling low in his stomach.

“Yeah, a bit I guess,” Zayn responded, wiping his hands on his sweatpants, and the he realized with a jolt of panic that Liam was about to see that he was right.

Awesome. What a great Monday.

Liam stood up, eyes finally off Zayn, and he lifted a beautiful tailored blazer out of the plastic and off the hanger; it was matte black with soft cloth gold buttons sewn into the shoulder, about half an inch in diameter, traveling all the way down the center folds and mirrored with shiny gold loop-holes on the other side. Zayn was transfixed. He had seen the drawings, been fitted with the base materials, but there was nothing like seeing a designer’s one-of-a-kind pieces in front of you.

“This is for you,” Liam said, his voice low as he walked over to Zayn, who was still very near the door ( _quick exit route,_ Zayn told himself) holding the garment in his hands but holding it out towards Zayn. “Isn’t this just gorgeous? Harry worked harder on this one piece, I think, than almost anything else in the whole line. Seems stupid, but he wanted to make sure it was perfect.” His fingers were stroking the material almost lovingly, and Zayn could see how much he truly cared about what he did in that moment.

Liam was right in front of Zayn now … he could hear his breathing, smell his perfect cologne, and he was still holding the jacket out to him as if asking him to touch it, his own fingers still caressing it. Zayn extended his hand out towards the boy and jacket, and the moment he made contact with the cloth, he understood Liam’s odd fasciation at once.

The material was beyond soft, almost feeling like it was going to melt under his fingers, and he actually let out a small sigh. Liam beamed at him, both pairs of brown eyes locking together. “It’s beautiful, right? Pity they’re probably gonna cover up all that ink your hiding, but we’ll make do.”

Zayn blushed from head to toe, he was sure of it, but he just shook it off, because he was Zayn Malik and he did not blush. Not cause of Liam Payne, at least.

“I’m not hiding them, see?” and Zayn proudly showed Liam his hand, his intricate mandala tattoo in full view.

“Yeah,” said Liam, sounding a little breathless, but without missing a beat, he slung the jacket over his arm and took Zayn’s hand in both of his. “Noticed that a while back, it’s beautiful, mate.” Zayn froze at the touch, unable to remain relaxed when Liam’s gentle fingers traced over the back of his hand. “What’s it for, if you don’t mind me asking?” His fingers continued tracing burning lines into the inky black patterns on Zayn’s skin and he couldn’t breathe.

Zayn took his hand back instinctively and pressed it to his chest protectively. Liam looked almost wounded for a moment at the gesture, but then it was gone. Zayn, thankfully, found his breath again and explained. “It’s for my family as well.” He paused before adding, “I’m Pakistani, and …” His voice trailed off into nothing because Liam was just looking at him, grinning, like he was just so fucking endeared by Zayn, and ahh yes, his dick was awake again.

Fuck, and he was still dressed.

 

***

 

Twenty minutes later, Zayn emerged from his room, fulling dressed for his first shoot of the day with Liam trailing quietly behind him.

“I’ll uhh,” Liam stuttered, his hand rubbing nervously at the back of his neck again, “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Well, you have to get me out of all this afterwards, don’t you?” Zayn retorted cheekily, chuckling as he pointed down to the many layers he was currently wearing.

He had on matte black trousers that perfectly matched their corresponding blazer; the golden cloth buttons, which travelled along the outside of Zayn’s legs, had been painstakingly fastened by Liam himself. He had been on his knees in front of Zayn, his nimble fingers ghosting over Zayn’s body, and if the image alone wasn’t enough, Liam had actually placed his hand on the inside of Zayn’s thigh, pulling the material tighter against his skin. Zayn had trembled noticeably at his touch, so much so that he heard Liam say, as if from a far off place, “Are you cold?” to which Zayn had shaken his head with a furious _no_.

Harry liked his layers. Underneath the blazer, Zayn had on a sheer black and gold floral vest which opened to reveal a thin crimson cashmere sweater beneath it, its low neckline exposing his sharp collarbones beautifully. But beneath all of that was the crown jewel of the entire ensemble, in Zayn’s opinion at least, which were the chains.

Harry had designed an exquisite set of thin gold chains that linked together around Zayn’s shoulders, falling gracefully down and across his chest, attaching themselves, collar-like, to the slender gold choker encircling his neck by a silver loop.

Zayn felt like a king, but as Liam had linked each chain to Zayn’s body, his warm fingers unintentionally stroking his skin, he wanted nothing more than to be Liam’s prince; beautifully adorned just for him.

It wasn’t until Liam had slipped on Zayn’s shoes, glittering golden boots, expertly tying the laces together, that Zayn realized it was over. The fitting was done. Liam had stood up, told him everything was finished, and Zayn had all but sagged at the disappointment he felt, and it wasn’t just his growing cock that was let down this time.

Standing just a few feet outside his dressing room, Zayn watched as Liam walked away, back to his own office, to his real job, and before he knew it, Zayn was being shuffled along. Make up, hair, shoot.

People bustled around him, moving quickly and calculated as they carted him off and placed him into chair after chair, tugging on his hair and face, beautifying him in minutes. Zayn wasn’t paying attention. He smiled to himself as he let everyone work on him, but in reality, he couldn’t wait for it all to be over, for Liam to be back. For them to be alone in his room again. For his fingers to be all over his body, touching him, begging for him. Zayn wanted that.  

Liam had been so soft with him before, gentle even, but Zayn needed him rough. He wanted Liam’s large hands hard on his shaking skin, digging into his flesh, making Zayn moan his name. He wanted Liam to press his impossibly fit body into his own smaller frame, feel this boy’s cock harden because of him, grow thick and fast against his own pulsing erection. He wanted to be on his knees for him. Be a good little prince.

“Zayn … ZAYN!” someone was yelling at him. It was Niall, and Zayn was standing right in front of him in the middle of the studio. When did he get here? And shit, how long had he been fucking fantasizing about Liam?

“Yeah, I’m here,” Zayn shook himself and adjusted his fine clothes, sending his photographer a winning smile, hoping to reassure him.

“Great! You look amazing, now are you ready?”

Zayn positioned himself in front of the camera, moving his hand delicately through his styled hair, coaxing a piece behind his ear. Of course he was ready; he was born to do this. Niall began clicking the camera and Zayn was in the zone.

And yet, his zone still consisted of Liam. He couldn’t for the life of him get the image of Liam pressing him against that stupid fucking wall out of his head. He could almost feel Liam’s hands on him, holding him steady…

_I’ll be good for you, I promise. D-daddy, please … I’ll be a good little prince._

Zayn let out a small whimper at the thought, breaking focus for only a moment, the camera still on him, clicking away. But he composed himself gracefully, letting a wicked smile curl onto his lips, his eyes going dark, as he positioned himself for the next frame.

Liam Payne, he decided, might be much more interesting than he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope, no chapter summary this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks forever to my betas Linn and Julia and to my fucking great editor Liz. love you hoes.
> 
> Please leave comments telling me what you think! I really love reading them.   
> Xoxoxo

Liam was leaning stiffly against a pole just outside his office, watching the madness of the studio at work. He loved how busy and loud it was during this time - a hundred things happening at once, but it was wonderful organized chaos. Niall was clicking away at his camera, telling Zayn how incredible he was doing, making the model feel at ease, and giving him suggestions for different poses to create the exact picture they were looking for; it was times like this that reminded Liam exactly why he was their go to photographer.

All their make-up artists were buzzing around the set, just outside the cameras view, covertly swooping in and out of the frame so as to adjust and correct Zayn’s already impeccable face. Harry’s assistants were there too, looking at each frame on the laptop just behind Niall and giving him Harry’s input on what they still needed for this particular shoot. Onlookers from around the studio had left their offices so that they too could see the photographer and the model working together, effortlessly creating magic right in front of their eyes.

Moments like this were always exciting for the company; they got to watch months of all their hard work and effort being captured in a single photo. It was like magic, and adding a model like Zayn to the mix, who was equally talented as he was impossibly beautiful, made the whole experience that much more breathtaking.

Liam was no exception to being completely mesmerized. Zayn looked like an angel, what with all the lights pouring down on him, the chains glinting and winking out from underneath his clothes, his inky black tattoos contrasting beautifully with the gold and crimson of his ensemble. Everything about Zayn was captivating to Liam, and there was nothing he could do about it now. He had fallen. Not in love, no fuck that. Well fuck Zayn, that’s what he really wanted. He wanted to fuck him so hard it wiped that little all-knowing smirk off his face, replaced with his own name on Zayn’s lips. He wanted to hear Zayn moan, _Yes, Liam, harder, please_. He wanted to press the cocky boys face against the wall with enough force to make squirm, make him beg for his cock, and then, only after he had pleaded sufficiently, Liam would take him from behind, claiming him with a hard bite to his exposed throat.

Shit. He had fallen deep.

And now he was hard again. Fuck, Zayn was really going to ruin his life, he just knew it.

Leaning against the pole still, Liam looked away from Zayn, attempting to adjust his tight jeans with a casual flick of his wrist. _Think of something sad Liam, think of sick puppies, anything._

 Stupid Zayn with his stupid perfect face.   

 The door to Liam’s office was open, because when Liam had left to check on the shoot, he told himself he wasn’t going to stay long, he just wanted to see how everything was going. And thirty minutes later, he was still here. In an attempt to distract himself, he peered inside: he could see the Zen-inducing potted plant his mom had gotten for him, and Liam shook his head with a light laugh. He always thought the idea was silly, but he really wanted to believe it now, now that Zayn was in the middle of his shoot and all Liam could think about was that boy willingly on his knees for him, wearing just those golden chains. Yes, Liam really wanted some Zayn in his life. Zen, ZEN in his life. Fuck.

Liam was scuffing his shoes on the tile floor now, willing his hard cock to soften (because it was definitely going to be noticeable soon.) He decided to take notes in his phone ( _1\. Stop thinking about Zayn Malik. 2. No really, Payno, stop thinking about fucking Zayn Malik)_ instead of just watching Zayn for the fun of it, but he couldn’t help but sneak another glance. He looked up, and he decided he had the worst luck in the world, because right as Liam lifted his gaze from his bright phone screen, Zayn had decided to take both of his index fingers and loop them under the delicate gold chain collar that Liam himself had clasped around his neck. Liam swallowed hard, suddenly clutching his phone, his knuckles going white. Zayn’s eyes drifted closed for a moment and then, as his eyelashes swept his delicate cheekbones and his eyes opened, his teeth sank into his bottom lip and he looked directly at Liam.

Liam’s phone dropped out of his hand, his whole body burning white hot, and it took him three whole seconds to bend down and retrieve his phone. How fucking dare he? That was uncalled for. Liam’s hands were shaking as he looked around nervously; hopefully, no one had noticed that he was an absolute mess. There were dozens of people here and Liam was like twenty feet away from action. But Zayn had. Liam could see the smirk of “I won” playing across his lips. Fuck, those lips. But yes, it seemed that no one else had noticed their exchange, more importantly Liam’s less than graceful reaction, so that was good. 

Or so he thought.

“You alright there, Li?” A familiar voice reached his ears from behind him, almost making him drop his phone again.  

“Fucking hell, Harry, don’t sneak up on me like that,” Liam sighed in exasperation, playfully elbowing Harry’s side as he passed him, curly hair bobbing when he turned to face Liam. “But yeah, I’m fine, why?” Liam didn’t fully meet his Harry’s eyes at that moment.

“Oh, no reason,” Harry chuckled, lifting a hand to try and hide his prominent teeth. “Just saw you almost come in your pants when little ol’ Zayn over there peeked a look at you. No shame there, though, mate. He’s fucking pretty … almost too pretty. I wouldn’t like it myself; I like to be the pretty one in the relationship, but you, yeah, he’s definitely your type.” His smile had now turned sickeningly sweet in an attempt to look cherubic, dimpled cheeks and eyes blinking as he brought his hands up to cup his face, adding to the angelic look he was obviously going for.

“Oi, you telling me I’m not pretty, Haz?” Liam said, putting a hand over his chest. “That hurts, it really does.” They both laughed, trying to muffle the sound so as to not disturb their hard work in action. But the studio was starting to settle down now as the shoot came to an end; Zayn was posing behind what Liam knew was the last background, and his heart suddenly started thumping loudly in his chest. Shit, it was almost time to undress Zayn, and he was still almost painfully hard in his jeans.

“You’re plenty pretty, Payno, just in a different way. Like, you’re tough, but like a puppy. Not sure how those two work, but they do. And Zayn, he’s like … pretty like a flower is pretty. Bet you could toss pretty boy Zayn around quite nicely, yeah?” Harry dropped his voice an octave and added, “I bet you he’d quite like it too.”

Liam blushed furiously, and Harry winked, only annoying Liam that much more.

“Fuck you, Harry,” Liam grumbled, pushing his friend away but harry didn’t seem to care, just continued laughing at Liam’s expense.

“Nah, you just wanna fuck Zayn.” Harry just kept laughing harder, clutching at his stomach, his long brown curls shaking with his body as Liam rolled his eyes and crossed his arms leaning back against his trusty pole again.

“Why you encouraging this, mate? It’s hateful really.”

Liam was speaking softer now, kicking his foot at Harry to focus his attention back on him. People were starting to mill about them, going to and from their respective offices as the shoot was finishing up, and Liam definitely didn’t want to be overheard. “I need get this under control soon, okay? And you make fun of me isn’t helping.” Liam laughed the last words out, because Harry had doubled over into laughter again, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder. Liam could feel Harry’s curls tickling his cheek.

“Cause it’s right funny! But if we’re being serious, Liam,” Harrys voice dropped suddenly, his laughter dissipating almost at once as he adopted his ‘boss’ persona. “You really can’t fuck him. Like, he could sue us and it would get weird as shit. Sorry Li, just wait until after he’s done working here, and then you can pound him into your mattress, yeah? Just fap in your office if you need to.”

Liam could tell Harry felt bad about this nice bit of information; he was picking away at his fingernails guiltily, but it didn’t stop the sinking feeling pooling in Liam’s stomach.

Shit. Liam immediately pushed himself off the pole and walked resolutely into his office, Harry following quietly behind him, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

_Good, you should feel bad, Harry._

Liam wanted him to feel guilty, and once Liam reached his desk, he turned to face Harry right as his boss was shutting the door behind himself. Liam needed privacy just in case he started yelling.

“This is all your fault, Harry.” Liam was digging his fingers into his desk, his voice gritting. “You practically gift wrapped him for me and now you’re gonna just take him away and bring fucking legal shit into this?” Liam was pissed, more at himself than Harry, because in reality, Liam knew from the beginning that Zayn would technically be off-limits. But with Harry’s goading, he had blissfully decided to ignore this glaring fact.

“I know Li, I’m sorry,” Harry said, leaning against the door now, his head tilting towards Liam and having the decency to at least look like he felt bad. “Seemed funny at the time, cause he’s so your type, but you’re around gorgeous models all the time and always keep your cool. I didn’t think he was gonna get to you so much.” Harry leaned forward and tucked a finger under Liam’s chin, trying and failing to get Liam to meet his eyes.

But whatever. Fine. Liam didn’t care. He wouldn’t care. Zayn was just another model. He could brush this off.

Liam stood up then, squaring his shoulders. “It’s no problem Haz, really, don’t sweat it. I’m not a kid, I’ll be fine.” He walked over to his best friend and kissed him on the cheek to reassure him. “Let’s go back to work, ok? You have a meeting with your assistant designers in,” he checked his phone for the time, “five minutes.” Liam opened the door to his office, trying to usher Harry out, but Harry was still looking at him with those big sad green eyes. Liam sighed, “We’re good, Haz, it’s all water under the bridge.”

Liam had said the right thing because with that Harry was smiling brightly at him, green eyes all soft and happy again, and he walked off back to his own office, unknowingly taking Liam’s dreams with him.

This wasn’t a big deal, Liam assured himself. He knew from the beginning he didn’t want to sleep with Zayn; well of course he _wanted_ to sleep with him, but he knew he _shouldn’t_ … he wasn’t going to. It couldn’t happen. This was a good thing.

Except now that Harry had taken the possibility away, he wanted Zayn about 1000% more.

Fuck.

***

“That’s a wrap!” Liam broke out of his revere as he heard Niall’s booming voice echo around the studio. Bodies were moving all around Liam now, cleaning up the set, moving items back to their original locations, taking down the lights and sets, breaking down the cameras, and about a million other things. Everyone was in motion except for Zayn. He was standing not ten feet from his dressing room, looking directly at Liam, that defiant strand of hair flopping into his face again. Liam sucked in an anxious breath as Zayn ever so slightly nodded his head towards the door to his room.

Before Liam could even react to the gesture, Zayn turned on his heels and began walking towards the door. He stopped again when he was just through the doorway, leaning slightly against the frame, and his eyes found Liam’s again. Liam wanted to move, wanted to be calm and composed, wanted to show Zayn that he didn’t affect him, but all he could do was swallow hard and gaze right back at him.

How did he get here? Hadn’t he told himself over and over again that he didn’t want Zayn? That he shouldn’t, that he refused to be just another notch in his bedpost? Liam felt like he was playing right into Zayn’s hand and he wished he could play right out.

“You coming?” Zayn mouthed at him, his pink tongue slowly licking across his plump bottom lip.

Liam’s cock twitched at Zayn’s obvious invitation, and all Liam could think about was how very off-limits Harry had just made him. He wished that his dick had gotten them memo.

 But no. Liam could do this … he could be professional. So he smiled back, trying to calm himself down. He put on a face of feigned calm and nodded as he made his way to Zayn’s room. Everyone was moving around him, paying no attention to him, and he was glad for it. It was as if he were a dog on a leash, being pulled by nothing other than Zayn's fixed gaze on him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

_There’s nothing to stop, Liam. You’re just doing your job. The job Harry assigned to you. Everything is fine._

Liam wanted to believe this, but as the temperature in his body rose a few degrees with every step he took towards Zayn’s door, nothing seemed fine. Nothing at all.

Zayn was still waiting for him expectantly in the doorway and a smirk lit his face up once Liam was right in front of him.

“After you,” Liam whispered, gesturing his hand towards the room. Why was he whispering?

“So chivalrous of you, Liam,” Zayn laughed lightly, standing up straight and walking into the room, Liam just on his heels. Liam couldn’t help but enjoy the view of Zayn walking in front of him, his hips swaying ever so slightly and his torso dripping in gold chains and sex appeal. All Liam wanted to do was to lick him clean.

_Get a fucking grip, Payno, he’s off-limits._

Liam shook his head and wiped his sweating palms on his jeans, attempting to clear his thoughts. How in the world was he going to undress Zayn right now? He was still fucking hard from the shoot, and he just hoped to all the gods that Zayn hadn’t noticed. But the issue now was that before, just mere hours ago, he wasn’t sure how Zayn felt about him. It seemed too much to ask for Zayn, gorgeous sex god Zayn Malik, to be even remotely interested in him, simple Liam Payne. But now it seemed painfully obvious that Zayn was into him, what with the wink and the smirk and … wait, maybe Liam was just reading into things. Maybe Zayn was just fucking with him. Yeah, that seemed like something he would do. Fuck, if Harry hadn’t said anything at all, Liam wouldn’t be in the situation right now! Making Zayn against the rules made Liam feel like he was in school again, and all he wanted to do was break the rules, and maybe break Zayn a little too.

Neither of them had said a word but Zayn didn’t seem to notice or care about the silence in the room. Liam had shut the door behind the two of them, locking it, and without any hesitation, the model just stepped into the middle of the room and raised his arms out expectantly, waiting for Liam to remove his garments.

_Cocky little shit._

Liam wanted to show him who really was in charge. He wanted to wrap his large hands around Zayn’s soft delicate neck, make Zayn whimper and beg. He wanted to hear _please_ and _I’ll be good Liam, I promise_ dropping from his sinful lips, and he wanted to feel the boy harden against him as he added more pressure to his collared throat.

Zayn still wasn’t looking at him, arrogantly waiting for Liam to undress him, so Liam took the opportunity to adjust his pants, because it was becoming a problem and he hadn’t even touched Zayn yet. And it was then that he decided that there was absolutely no way Liam was imagining the intoxicating sexual tension that was currently threatening to drown him. It was there, and it was real.

_It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if he declares his undying love for you. Doesn’t matter if he drops to his knees and begs for you. Says how badly he wants to be good for you. You can’t have him, Liam._

Liam took a breath and steadied himself, assessing Zayn again as he still wasn’t fucking looking at him. He had a perfect view of Zayn’s profile, which was just as beautiful as everything else about him, but Liam just bit his lip, gritted his teeth, and walked confidently over to the boy ( _boy? Man? How old was Zayn? It had been on his contract, but in his current daze, he couldn’t remember … )_ displayed before him.

“How old are you?” Liam asked, his voice lower than anticipated and breaking the silence like a crack as he stepped right in front of Zayn’s awaiting body. He was standing probably much closer than he should be. Harry would not approve, but Liam couldn’t help it. His whole body was screaming to be close to Zayn’s in any way that he could.

“What’s it matter to you?” Zayn snapped, eyes flicking up to look at him, sass in every word. Liam’s confusion at Zayn’s tone must have shown on his face, because Zayn laughed lightly, smiling to show Liam that he was joking around. “I’m 25. Don’t like to tell many people though … age is a curse in my line of work, but I look young enough, so it doesn’t usually cause a fuss.” Zayn’s thin fingers had come up to tuck his hair behind his ear as he spoke, and Liam eyes followed their every moment. “But, since you told me your age, fair is fair.”  Seemingly finished fixing his hair, Zayn returned his arms to their expectant stance and continued speaking, while Liam was still fucking standing there doing nothing like a goddam idiot. “Why do you want to know, anyway?”

“Just wanted to know, like you said, you know mine,” Liam was so close to Zayn now that he could see how their bodies contrasted. Yes, Liam was much younger than the man before him, but it was easy to see that Zayn’s smaller body would fit perfectly into Liam’s burlier frame. They were more or less the same height, Zayn falling just short of Liam, but it was as if he were a whole head shorter the way Zayn’s body seemed to melt in on itself; it was if Zayn to want to be overpowered by him. Liam could not dwell on this. Definitely not.

They were staring at each other now, their bodies closer than Liam should’ve let them be, and Liam’s body was radiating enough heat that Zayn had to have felt it, and by his very obvious swallow, Liam took that as a yes.

Liam could see every detail of Zayn's impossibly perfect face. His brown eyes were a mix of molten gold and chocolate, his nose and cheekbones appeared carved from marble, his lips were very pink, his lashes were brushing his cheeks with every blink, and Zayn's skin was caramel, light and soft and ever so inviting. Liam didn’t know if he had ever seen anyone quite so beautiful ever in his whole life.

“Better … Better get started then, yeah?” Zayn’s voice was soft and his breath hot on Liam’s face, their gazes still locked. Liam was so close now that he felt like Zayn’s eyelashes would brush his cheeks.

“Yeah … better do that,” Liam answered, his voice barely above a whisper. He had to do this, just get this over with so he could fucking deal with the very tight problem in his pants ( _just fap in his office, right Harry?)_ With a deep breath, Liam bent down to his knees and began untying Zayn’s glittered golden boots ( _so very Harry,_ ) his fingers expertly undoing the laces. He tried not to think about how close his face was to Zayn's crotch right now, because he could not think about that if he wanted to stay sane.

Zayn then put a hand on Liam’s shoulder as he lifted his foot up for Liam to take his shoe off and it all seemed terribly intimate to Liam; Zayn's hand was so gentle as he leaned on him, so different than his usual know it all attitude. Once removed, Liam put the boot aside and moved to work on Zayn's other boot; Zayn's hand still keeping him balanced, resting lightly on his shoulder.

Once both of Zayn’s shoes were off and put neatly to the side, Liam stood up slowly, much slower than he should’ve, letting his body graze Zayn’s just enough to send shivers up and down his own spine. Liam was starting to lose focus - he was too close, much too close to Zayn right now, but there was absolutely nowhere else he wanted to be.

When he was finally standing upright again, he couldn’t let himself look at Zayn, so Liam kept his eyes down as he started unbuttoning the gold cloth buttons on Zayn's blazer, desperately trying to keep his hands from shaking. As he continued working down, he unconsciously inched closer into Zayn’s space. Liam gasped suddenly as his aching cock made contact with Zayn’s unbelievably warm thigh, and his eyes flitted down to the spot where they were touching.

“Well, then,” Zayn almost purred out the words, and Liam lifted his eyes back up to Zayn's gorgeous honey brown ones. Zayn's eyes were on fire as he spoke again. “Quite impressive.”

_Well fuck, guess he noticed._

But to Liam’s surprise Zayn’s fingers dropped from their expectant stance, and he began to tug at the hem of Liam’s shirt; it was all Liam could do to not growl in appreciation.

“I … we … this can’t …” Liam’s words didn’t seem to be working as Zayn flicked his nimble fingers underneath his shirt, his hands ghosting over Liam’s bare hips. Their bodies were almost flush at this point and Liam was starting to lose his vision, his skin burning wherever Zayn’s fingertips had been.

_This cannot be happening, this cannot happen. Take a step back, just one, just take one step back, Liam …_

“We can’t … we shouldn’t …” Zayn seemed to be mocking him, but Liam couldn’t take offence, not when the boy’s fingers were digging into his flesh so deliciously. Liam’s brain seemed to be short circuiting. Liam tilted his head back and closed his eyes because he couldn’t look at Zayn anymore, but he couldn’t move away from his grip either.

He could’ve though. He was stronger than Zayn, he could stop him, move him. He could do anything he wanted.

“Zayn,” Liam let out a soft breath, as his name fell from his lips.

“Yes, Liam?” Zayn said, his voice raw and soft, his thumbs now rubbing calming circles into Liam’s exposed hipbones.

Everything was driving him mad; the feel of Zayn against him, the warmth of his fingers, the heat of his breath, the desire in his voice. It was intoxicating. He couldn’t think straight, his cock was so hard in his jeans he wanted to cry, and Zayn was moving his fingers up now, to his chest, stroking over his stomach. He couldn’t breathe. They were just standing there in the middle of Zayn's small dressing room with racks of clothes nearby, the vanity light on, and Zayn’s comic still on the table, and yet it seemed as if they were in another world entirely. A place where only he and Zayn and their unbearable heat existed. A place with no rules, where nothing was off-limits. A place where Zayn wanted Liam just as bad as Liam wanted him.

Liam opened his eyes again, looking back down at Zayn, at the pretty boy pressed against him. His eyes were shining and he was biting his bottom lip. Everything was so beautiful, so tempting. Zayn’s lips twitched up in a small smirk, and Liam broke.

With a loud exhale that was almost a groan, Liam grabbed at Zayn’s small wrists, his larger fingers encircling them easily, and he forcefully pushed them out from under his shirt.

“No,” Liam’s voice was authoritative now as he gazed down at Zayn, their faces so close he could feel rather than hear Zayn suck in a small breath. If this was going to happen, it was going to happen his way. Zayn would not be running things; Liam would make sure to wipe that cocky grin off his face. Liam was young, but he was fucking in charge.

Zayn’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, and Liam thought he could almost see his heart beating as Zayn looked up at him, his golden eyes searching his own wordlessly. Liam took advantage of his silence to move even closer into Zayn’s space, finally closing the gap separating them. Zayn’s breath caught in his throat, his eyes never leaving Liam’s, and Liam smiled as the boy took a single step backward.

_Yes, just like that Zayn, follow my lead._

“No,” Liam said to Zayn again in the same commanding voice, his fingers now applying pressure to Zayn’s wrists as he continued to guide them back, step after step, until they hit wall of the dressing room. Zayn was biting his lip in approval, and nothing had ever looked better to Liam.

 Liam was in control now; he could feel it, feel Zayn in the palm of his hand. He could feel his own power coursing through his body, and he could feel Zayn’s body responding against him. Zayn submitting to him like this was almost too much, but it was just right, and Liam was gaining strength with every breath the boy gave him.

Zayn was trembling now, his back pressed against the wall. Liam could feel him shaking lightly against his hard body, and the feeling was enough for him to repeat himself for a third time.

“No.” Liam’s voice was softer now and he just shook his head lightly, gazing down at Zayn, as he watched the boy begin to unravel beneath him. Zayn's mouth was opening and closing, his eyes fluttering shut, as little moans began to escape his lips and Liam decided he needed to hear that again and again only louder and mixed with the sound of his own name.

He removed one of his hands from Zayn’s wrist, and placed it delicately against the boy’s throat, stroking at the gold collar. Liam almost fucking came just from the sight.

“Zayn,” He whispered, his voice trembling as he looked into Zayn’s eyes and saw that his pupils were blown wide. _Fuck._ Liam gripped a bit harder at Zayn’s throat, watching his eyes roll back, and if Liam thought he had broken before, he completely shattered in that moment.

“Fuck it,” he moaned, and with no hesitation, Liam brought his mouth crashing down against Zayn’s, his chapped lips pressing hard against Zayn’s impossibly soft ones. Liam instantly licked at Zayn’s lips; he was so delicious and Liam knew that he wanted to taste Zayn every day for the rest of his life. He pressed closer still, wanting to waste no time, not now that this was already happening. His body was completely against Zayn’s now, his tongue demanding entrance, and his hand still tight against Zayn’s throat. He let out a guttural moan into Zayn's mouth, and Zayn responded immediately, opening his lips to Liam without a second thought and allowing Liam in as they melted into each other.

Their mouths moved seamlessly together, rough and hot, and Liam was losing his breath with every swipe of Zayn’s tongue against his. Liam pushed his thrumming body further against Zayn, their kiss turning into teeth and tongue and short breaths, both their cocks hard. Liam fitted his thigh between Zayn’s legs, causing Zayn to gasp against his lips, and Zayn spread his legs further to give Liam better friction.

“Liam … God, this is … I … fuck …” Zayn was mumbling against his mouth, his words getting lost in between kisses, but Liam didn’t care. He just pushed into him harder.

Holy fuck, this felt amazing. Liam’s entire body seemed to be melting around Zayn and it was all he could do just to keep kissing him, keep him pressed against his own hot body. Liam swallowed up the sound of Zayn's breath with another fierce kiss, sucking at Zayn’s bottom lip, his fingers digging even deeper into the flesh on Zayn’s beautiful neck.

“You look so good … so fucking good like this.” Liam groaned against Zayn’s mouth, his voice raw, “I’m gonna take care of you, okay? Do you … do you want me to do that, Zayn?”

Liam’s voice was barely above a whisper, lips ghosting over Zayn's lightly as he asked the question, and Liam wondered if Zayn had even heard him until he heard a soft whimper escape the boy’s lips, “Y-yes, Liam … P-please.”

“It’s okay, Zayn, I got you,” and Liam kissed him reassuringly, feeling more than hearing Zayn moan in appreciation.

Zayn slowly brought up his free hand and placed it gently atop Liam’s own hand, which was still gripping Zayn’s throat. The hot contact mixed with Zayn's fingernails that were now scratching into his skin made Liam grip that much harder, their kisses becoming deeper. He never wanted this end; he wanted to feel Zayn against him, feel him break apart because of him, needed to see this composed, cocky, arrogant, gorgeous man fall apart because of him.

Zayn was whimpering now as he attempted to free his other hand, but it was no use against Liam’s strong hold on his wrist, which was so small in comparison to Liam’s own. Liam just shook his head against Zayn’s mouth, reveling in the control he finally had over him; all thoughts of anything being off-limits were out the window because now everything was his. Ever since Zayn had walked into his office for the first time, this had been what he wanted, and now it was actually happening.

“Zayn … ”

 Liam’s voice was low as he broke away from Zayn’s perfect pink lips, his mouth traveling down as he kissed his cheek, his jawline, and his exposed neck. “Fuck, Zayn, you’re so good for me … ” Liam bit down lightly on Zayn’s pulse point, drawing out a long, high-pitched moan. “Shhh,” Liam said softly, kissing over his bite, his thumb stroking over Zayn’s wrist. “Don’t want anyone to hear you. No one but me.”

“No one b-but you, Liam,” Zayn said, sighing softly into his ear. “I promise.”

Zayn seemed like a completely different person than the guy who had walked into this dressing room just mere minutes before, teasing Liam and calling all the shots. But now, as their bodies breathed together, Liam’s lips hot on his ear, he was completely at Liam’s mercy. Before, he was the one in control, turning Liam into a puddle with just a look or a touch, but now he was putty in Liam’s hands, whimpering and moaning for him. In this moment Liam felt like he was the most powerful king and Zayn was his beautiful prince. Zayn was so willing, his body so wonderfully pliant underneath him, it made Liam shudder against him.

He wanted to push Zayn now, see how far he would go for him, so Liam pressed his lips against Zayn’s ear and whispered, “Put your hands above your head, Zayn, can you do that for me?” Before Zayn could respond, Liam released his wrist and said into his ear again, “But first … ”

Liam took both of his hands under Zayn's blazer and gently pushed it off his shoulders, returning to kissing Zayn’s perfect lips as the garment fell softly to the ground. He did the same to the vest and the sweater, continuing to kiss Zayn deeply as each garment fell on top of the other. Their touches were soft now, their lips slick and swollen, gliding together smoothly, and everything had turned slow, like a low burning fire, as Zayn got closer and closer to being undressed.

It was as if time were suspended while Liam slowly removed Zayn’s clothes, neither of them speaking, their lips moving languidly together, but once Liam could finally feel the gold chains under his fingertips, hot against Zayn's bare chest, a low groan escaped his throat. He pulled away from Zayn, Zayn moving with him, and his lips pouting at the separation. His eyes were still closed, but Liam had to see him. He had to see this gorgeous man pushed against the wall wearing only chains, desperate for him.

“You are so beautiful.” Liam couldn’t help it as the compliment fell from his mouth. “You must hear it all the time, but holy fuck, Zayn, you are just … Mmmm …”

Zayn only responded by moving forward and connecting their lips again, as if any time not kissing Liam was time wasted.

Fuck, this was more perfect than he could’ve dared hope.

Zayn was breathing heavy against the wall now and Liam could see the outline of Zayn’s hard cock through his trousers. The thin chains were spilling across his tattooed chest, moving up and down with his breath, and the whole thing made Liam groan in appreciation that this was for him.

 Liam was the luckiest man in the world, he was sure of it.

 Liam couldn’t help himself anymore, pressing himself flush against Zayn’s welcoming body, and he practically growled out his request again. “Put your hands above your head, Zayn.”

“Yes, sir,” Zayn purred out his response, raising his hands delicately above his head, the chains clinking together lightly at the movement, and Liam pushed his thigh against Zayn, even harder at his obedience.

“Good … Good, just like that babe,” Liam breathed out, and Zayn smiled brightly at the praise, his eyes going slightly unfocused as the words fell from Liam’s lips. “You like that?” Liam cocked his head, not even daring to hope this much, because this was too good to be true. “You like being good, huh?”

Zayn just nodded, his arms still raised, and Liam took both of Zayn’s wrists in one hand, pressing his fingers into Zayn’s smooth skin lightly as he pressed Zayn against the wall. “You wanna be good for me, Zayn?”

“Please … oh, fuck, Liam, please …”

Zayn’s confident voice had turned raspy with want and the choking sound Liam made at his words shocked them both, their eyes locking instantly. Liam could see that Zayn's pupils were still blown, and wasted no time reconnecting their lips. This time there was no pausing, no hesitation. They kissed desperately, Zayn whimpering and rutting against Liam’s thigh, Liam’s tongue showing him no mercy as he explored his mouth, feeling out every inch of him. Liam could feel Zayn’s hands push against his, testing him, and he just gripped harder, bringing his free hand back up to circle Zayn's neck again.

He pulled at Zayn’s collar, feeling the gold chains between his fingers. “You like this, Zayn? Like being controlled, tied up for me?”

Zayn nodded fiercely against Liam’s lips, so he continued, his voice impossibly low now against Zayn's lips, his hand gripping against the gold collar. “If you’re good for me, baby, maybe I’ll let you wear _my_ collar,” and with those words Zayn practically collapsed against Liam’s chest and he could feel Zayn’s cock throbbing hard against him through his trousers.

_Shit … SHIT. Zayn wanted to wear his, Liam’s, collar … Wanted to be a good boy, for him. Jesus. Fucking. Christ._

Liam was going to explode.

“Wait, shit … Zayn wait.” Without any pretense, Liam dropped to his knees and began furiously unbuttoning Zayn’s trousers. “We can’t … damage these,” Liam muttered as he loosened them enough to pull them and Zayn’s underwear down in one swift motion. Immediately, Zayn’s cock slapped against his stomach, precome already making the head shiny. Liam felt his mouth water and he just gazed up at Zayn, pushing his pants down even further and allowing him to step out of them, their eyes never leaving one another. Once Zayn was fully free from them, Liam set them aside next to all of his other clothes.

_Well at least you got him undressed, Payne._

Liam was still on his knees as he looked up back up Zayn, who was completely naked except for the gold chains he wore, and he inwardly cursed and thanked Harry for his impeccable design. This was his ultimate wet dream, his fantasy, and Zayn was just looking down sweetly at him, as if waiting for more direction.

_This is it, Payne, you’ve died and gone to heaven. Absolutely no other explanation for it._

Liam became suddenly overwhelmed and he laid his face into Zayn’s thigh, Liam’s scruff rubbing against his soft skin. Zayn’s body was just so warm and he could smell him, _Zayn_ , and he couldn’t help but mouth at Zayn’s thighs and the soft skin of his groin. Liam was feeling so much right now, but it spiked into an entirely different level when he felt Zayn's beautiful hands stroking his hair. Thin fingers grazing into his hair, nails scratching lightly against his scalp; Liam had never felt more at home than right now.

It was all too much, everything was so heightened, and he rose to his feet, doing the only thing he could think to do; he crushed his mouth against Zayn's again, removing Zayn's small hands from his hair and grabbing his both wrists with one hand again. Without asking permission this time, he pushed them over Zayn’s head, pinning them against the wall, in what Liam felt was their rightful place. With his free hand, he wasted no time and he took ahold of Zayn’s awaiting cock. It was hot and heavy in his hand, and Zayn moaned into his mouth at the contact.

“Liam … ahh, fuck … feels so good,” Zayn was barely kissing him back now as Liam started to stroke him down his thick shaft, twisting at the base and back up again. He could feel Zayn shaking beneath him with every pump of his fist, and he relished in it, relished in the fact that he, Liam Payne, was bringing Zayn Malik to this level of desperation. Liam thumbed over the slit, precome dribbling out, and he used it to slick up Zayn's pulsing cock. Zayn was breaking underneath his grip, his body shaking more violently, and Liam could tell his release would come soon. He wanted to see what Zayn looked like, broken and panting for him as he came.

“You feel amazing … you’re being so good for me, Zayn … so pretty for me.” Liam spoke between each stroke of his hand while Zayn whimpered gorgeously against his lips.

There was nothing more erotic to Liam than the fact that Zayn was naked, hard, and leaking underneath him while he himself was fully clothed. And Zayn didn’t seem to mind one bit, hadn’t even tried to remove Liam’s clothes at all, having fully given control of the situation over to him completely, and as Liam continued to move his hand expertly around Zayn's dick, he was incredibly grateful.

“I-I wanna touch you … Liam, please …” Zayn barely got the words out, his voice a low guttural rasp. “Wanna taste you … please,” he mumbled, looking down longingly at Liam’s pants, his dick still unbelievably hard and fully clothed. “Let me … wanna make you feel good, _fuck_ ...” Liam could feel Zayn's hands moving from under his own as the boys knees began to drop to the ground, his eyes never leaving Liam’s - the sight was awe inspiring; Zayn’s black hair was slick with sweat now, his body glistening with the gold chains that adorned his body, his eyes looking up at him dark and blown with lust. It was almost more than Liam could handle. Liam could see that Zayn’s wrists were red now, and he hoped he left bruises there. Their makeup artists could cover it, but Liam would know.

 When Zayn finally settled on the floor, kneeling in front of him, he lifted his hands up to the waistband of Liam’s pants and Liam didn’t realize how neglected he had been until now.

“Shit, Zayn …” Liam put both hands in Zayn's hair. Zayn wasted no time in unbuttoning Liam’s pants and pulling his zipper down. He teased him, setting his hot mouth against Liam’s boxers, mouthing at his cock. Liam pulled hard on his hair. “So good … baby, come on, I wanna feel you.” Zayn flicked his thumbs underneath Liam’s jeans and boxers and quickly pulled them down.

Liam’s cock broke free and the relief Liam felt made him gasp. Without any warning he felt plump warm lips warp around the tip of his dick, sucking, Zayn’s tongue swirling around the head. Liam thought he was going to die with the amount of pleasure he felt at this. Liam took a chance and looked down, and the sight alone was enough to make his knees buckle, his free hand hitting the wall in an attempt to keep himself upright.

“Mmmmm, Liam … god, you taste so fucking good,” Zayn moaned around Liam’s cock, his tongue licking at his slit and somehow, Liam got impossibly harder, his fingers tangling deeper into the boy’s hair trying to keep his shaking body steady.

Zayn was made for this; he was made to suck cock, to suck _his_ cock. His cheekbones were so sharp, hollowing out as he took more and more of Liam into his needy mouth. Liam was positive now that he was the luckiest person in the entire world, and with the way Zayn was looking up at him, it seemed as if he felt the same way too.

“Good boy, Yes … Fuck Zee, that feels _so_ good.” The nick name fell out of his lips before he could stop himself, but it seemed to spur Zayn on, and the boy sucked even harder, now using one hand to stroke up the base, making up for what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. Zayn was relentless, breaking off with a pop and licking up the pulsing vein on the underside of his cock, lapping up Liam’s precome, jerking him off with his hands slick with spit and come, and before Liam knew it, he was close.

“Zayn, I’m gonna …” Liam whimpered, taking both of his hands and placing them as gently as he could on Zayn’s face, thumbing softly against Zayn’s cheeks, his body trembling. Liam tried to move away, but Zayn shook his head and licked at a drop of precome that had smeared onto his lips.

“Don’t wanna make a mess now, do we?” Zayn said, still licking his lips and looking innocently up at Liam, and then he unabashedly took Liam back in his mouth.

_Yep. Definitely dead. No question about it._

“Touch yourself … I want you to come with me,” Liam ordered, his voice hoarse but commanding, and without a word, Zayn began to jerk himself off while swallowing Liam all the way down to the base. The moment Liam felt Zayn’s nose hit the coarse hair at his groin, Liam’s release broke from him. He felt as if he was being ripped apart. His body went white hot as he felt Zayn’s throat contract around his tip, the come pouring down the boy’s throat and Liam could see some of it dribbling down the sides of Zayn’s swollen lips. At that point, Liam didn’t think Zayn could surprise him anymore, but he pulled off of Liam’s softening dick slowly, swallowing hard. Bringing his own come covered hand to his lips, he licked his fingers, cleaning himself up, as if the taste of himself and Liam together was the best thing he had ever eaten.

Suddenly there was a sharp knock at the door, “Zayn! Oi, mate, are you in there?” Liam froze at the sound, but he didn’t recognize the voice at all and looked down Zayn, their post orgasmic haze broken in an instant.

“Fuck, that’s Louis.” Liam guessed Zayn understood his quizzical look because he added, “my best friend, flat mate, you know. He’s here to pick me up for lunch, totally forgot. Fucking shit.”

Liam quickly tucked himself back in his jeans as Zayn stood up, and the whole thing turned painfully awkward as Zayn was still naked, come drying on his thigh.

“Zayn, you fucking bugger, you in there?! The tall cute one, with the curly hair, fuck if I remember his name, he told you were in here. Hello?” The man called Louis shouted again, still knocking forcefully on the door, and Liam knew he had to have meant Harry.

“Louis, I’m getting dressed, be out in a sec!” Zayn shouted back to the door, and then to Liam he whispered, “Get this off me.” He turned around, exposing the back of the chain collar to him. With fumbling hands, Liam unclasped the chains and helped Zayn out of it. Zayn turned away quickly and grabbed at his own clothes, throwing on his sweats and t-shirt in record time. Liam was still standing there holding the chains awkwardly. Zayn pulled on his shoes and grabbed his wallet, checking himself once over in the mirror. Zayn wiped at his mouth, combed his licked clean fingers through his hair, and nodded at his own reflection.

“Well … that was fun,” Zayn said, turning away from the mirror and winking at Liam, who was still immobile, not entirely sure what was happening. The model walked passed him nonchalantly, unlocking the door and then let himself out without another word.

The door shut behind him with a slam, and the sound made Liam grip the chains he was holding, his fingernails digging into his skin. He was left alone in the small dressing room, Zayn's clothes still on the floor where Liam had laid them so gently, now the only reminder that what happened hadn’t all been a dream.

So much for off-limits.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some side Larry, some Zouis bromance and some other stuff :)  
> please read the tags for triggers!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you endlessly to Julia for being my amazing beta, like for real this story would be NOTHING without you. And you Liz, thank you for editing this in your free time and dealing with my trash Ziam self. I love you both beyond words. 
> 
> Thank you guys for reading! sorry it took so long to update, the holidays just murdered me. I'm planning to update MUCH more regular now.  
> Enjoy! 
> 
> and please leave kudos and comments if you liked it, they mean the absolute world to me.

Louis was waiting for Zayn right outside of his dressing room, arms folded and lips pursed, looking quite impatient. Zayn shut the door quickly, leaving Liam behind to clean up their mess, and looked at his annoyed best friend. Zayn hoped that Louis wouldn’t notice the complete fucked out look on his face, or if he did, just attribute it to their night out.

Seriously, he cannot have that much vodka again. 

“Well, you took your sweet old time,” Louis quipped at Zayn, tucking his own messy brown hair under his beanie, Vans scuffing the floor. Zayn just rolled his eyes at him, hoping his own hair didn’t look too awful ( _ damn you, Liam) _ , as he walked past Louis. He needed to be alone for just a second. 

“Just lemme just run to the bathroom first, gotta wash off the make-up,” Zayn said gesturing to his face and lightly punching Louis in the stomach as he started towards the restroom. 

“Zayn!” Zayn took only a few steps before he whipped around to see Harry, all long legs and curly hair, walking over to him from his office, “Zayn, there you are! Was wondering where you went to!” Harry was beaming at him,  flowered shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest, just enough for Zayn to see the massive butterfly tattoo stamped right on his torso .  

“Right here, Harry,” Zayn said, waving a hand up, “I just finished getting undressed, Liam is still in my dressing room if you wanted to see him?”

“Thanks, was gonna go look for him next,” Harry replied brightly, and Zayn wondered if his boss was ever anything other than upbeat, “Actually, I just wanted to commend you on the fabulous job you did this morning. Really excellent! Just saw the shots myself, and you really captured what I envisioned.” 

“Thank you so much,” Zayn said warmly, accepting the compliment, and then he felt a sharp jab in his ribs. He looked to find the source of pain only to see Louis’s elbow in his side. “Oww,” Zayn yelped, looking confused at his friend. Louis raised his eyebrows and jerked his head slightly in Harry’s direction, and suddenly Zayn understood.

Chuckling, Zayn looked at Harry and said, “Oh Harry, I’m sorry, this is my best mate, Louis Tomlinson. Louis, this is Harry Styles.”

“Oh, yeah,” Harry said, now turning his full attention to Louis, and Zayn had to stifle a laugh as Harry’s face relaxed from his usual cheery smile to some sort of love-struck stare. “I’ve seen you around a few times. Nice to properly meet you.” 

Harry extended one of his long arms out to Louis, who stood there just a beat too long, his eyes wide, before finally taking Harry’s hand and shaking it. Zayn bit down hard on his lip to stop himself from laughing, but Harry didn’t seem to notice. He just kept looking at Louis, a smile pulling at his mouth, and Louis positively beamed back at him. It was almost nauseating. 

Zayn stood there for a minute more before the awkwardness of Harry and Louis still shaking hands became too much for him to bear, and he cleared his throat rather loudly. “Hey Harry, why don’t you keep Louis company for a sec while I go clean up, yeah?” 

The look of absolute terror and betrayal on Louis’ face at the idea of Zayn abandoning him was priceless. Harry agreed, of course, and he placed a gentle hand on Louis’ shoulder. His hand looked massive placed on Louis’ petite shoulder, and for the first time in his life, Louis Tomlinson was at a loss for words. Zayn couldn’t get over how hilarious it was to see Louis like this. 

“Be back a bit Louis. Don’t die on me!” he shouted over his shoulder, still laughing as he walked towards the bathroom. Louis was almost as bad with Harry as he was with Liam …

Zayn crossed the studio quickly, his mind suddenly racing. He opened the bathroom door quickly and shut it behind himself, pressing his back to the door, eyes shut tight.

What the fuck had just happened? How in the world had he done that with Liam? With someone he worked with, and who worked so closely with his boss? How could he be so unprofessional? This was so against Zayn’s character. What had come over him? And how in the world was Liam something special enough for him to risk his career over a fuck?

No matter how hard Zayn wanted to deny that he had no feelings for Liam, that he was unattached from the whole situation, that it really was just sex (no matter how much it shouldn’t have happened), he couldn’t. There was something about that uptight little fuck that drove Zayn crazy. 

Zayn couldn't stop thinking about how he had acted for Liam; begging him, obeying him. He had never been so submissive in his life, and yeah, he was a sub in those kind of scenarios, but it was usually with someone he trusted. A person who he had established that kind relationship with, not just a casual fuck in his dressing room (which really totally should not have happened, fucking Christ). But Liam, god ... He had trusted Liam, begged him in those moments, and he swore he had never come so hard in his life than while he was on his knees for that kid. 

Kid. But he wasn’t, was he? Liam was 21 and damn, he was powerful. Zayn absently rubbed the fresh bruises now starting to bloom on his wrist, smiling against his better judgment. He couldn’t help but be entranced by him ...  Zayn wanted to be in control, yes, but at the same time he wanted Liam to completely dominate him again, make him beg and plead and then take care of him and tell him how good he was. Fuck, he wanted that so bad. 

This was so careless. That was the main problem. If Liam wasn’t his boss's right hand man, and if Zayn wasn’t on the brink of a huge break in his career, maybe things would be different. But they weren’t. Zayn knew it, and he knew that Liam knew it too. 

It couldn’t happen again. No matter how badly he wanted it to.

 

Zayn left the bathroom after splashing water on his face, rinsing his mouth out, and using the make-up wipes the company provided for him. He didn’t look great, but it would have to do. Liam had fucked him up so much that Zayn was sure everyone could tell he had just been made someone’s bitch. But at the same time, he was almost proud of himself … That he had been so good, so unbelievably good for Liam, and Liam had said so himself. 

_ No Zayn, don’t go there. _

Zayn combed his hand through his hair again as he shut the door to the bathroom and went to go find Louis. 

 

Louis and Harry were still talking, only now they were standing outside Harry’s office. Zayn was pretty sure he had never seen two people more whipped in his life. Louis was grinning like crazy and kept tucking his hair nervously behind his ear, while Harry was leaning casually against the wall, his whole body turned towards the smaller boy, dimples etched so deeply into his cheeks that Zayn wondered if they would be there permanently from now on. 

Zayn awkwardly approached them, touching Louis’ arm to let him know he was there. “Hey, I’m back, wanna go get lunch now? I'm finished for today.”

“Actually Zayn, Liam was just asking for you,” Harry said nonchalantly, that big smile Zayn knew was from Louis still spread wide on his boyishly cute face. “Go on to lunch, but if you could pop back and see what he wanted, that would be great. Just don’t take too long, it’s an early day here. And Louis,” Harry said, lifting his hand to touch lightly just under Louis’ chin, “don’t be a stranger, alright?” 

Zayn watched as Harry went to back up into his office, but instead bumped into the door frame, totally ruining his smooth exit. Harry blushed furiously, his already rosy cheeks flaming up, but Louis just seemed more endeared, the fond look on his face travelling up to his eyes, the skin around them crinkling in a way that meant only one thing … Louis was completely gone. Louis managed a small, “Yeah, ok,” to Harry and they both waved awkwardly as Harry shut his office door behind him. Louis let out a huge breath of air when he heard the door click and he looked at Zayn, face serious and eyes glassy. “I think I’ve just met my future husband.”

“Yeah, sure you did, mate. Let’s go eat, ok?” Zayn laughed, slinging an arm over his flustered friend’s shoulder, walking them both away from Harry’s office door and out of the studio. 

*** 

Zayn poked fun at Louis all the way to the little diner across the street from the studio. They weaved their way through crowds of people heading off to lunch, but Zayn made sure not to let Louis out of his sight, in case he decided to make a run for it and get away from the constant nagging from Zayn. As they approached the front door to the restaurant, Zayn snatched the grey beanie unceremoniously off of Louis’s head, just as Louis was about to start talking about how cute he thought Harry’s green eyes were, and he ruffled his hair the way Zayn knew Louis hated. 

“Oi, watch it!” Louis yelled as he quickly flattened his hair and made a grab for his beanie. “I quite like that one, loser, if you could give it back … thanks.”

“Only if you promise to shut up about my boss for two fucking seconds,” Zayn yelled back, holding the hat above his head. He wasn’t much taller than Louis, but just enough that he was able to keep the beanie out of reach, and he kept laughing as Louis jumped in vain to retrieve his lost item. 

“Fine, fine,” Louis said, “I’ll stop, I’ll be good, promise. Scouts honor.” Louis stood up straight as he put his hand mock solemnly over his heart. Zayn chuckled at his melodrama but tossed the beanie back to him, watching as Louis’ eyes lit up, and he immediately shoved it back onto his head, hurriedly fixing his fringe as they walked inside the diner.

“But enough about me and dear Harold,” Louis said as the waitress lead him and Zayn to their table. “Tell me about Liam.”

Zayn almost tripped as he went to sit down into the booth, his heart pounding twice as fast. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, dumbass,” Louis said in his ever kind demeanor, which made Zayn just roll his eyes as he mouthed a thank you to their waitress when she handed them their menus, “I know what your _I_ _just got fucked_ face is, ok? I’ve been privy to enough of your late nights turned early morning hook-ups to know.” 

Zayn just squared his jaw at Louis because he had no good retort, and Louis took his silence as permission to continue. “ _ And  _ you told Harry that Liam had been in the dressing room with you. Now I know you mentioned an uptight know it all bossy twat by the name of Liam who just so happens to be Harry’s PA-”

“How the fuck do you remember all this shit? Don’t tell me you actually listen when I talk about my work, my ‘adult dress up’, as you call it?” Zayn scoffed at Louis, who just rolled his eyes right back at him.

“Yes I do, it’s called being a good friend, and I’m glad I did listen because now I know you fucked your boss’ PA during work hours. At work. Like this is fucking priceless, Zayn. A bit out of character for you, isn’t it?” Louis was looking intently at Zayn now, but Zayn was resolutely looking at his menu, feeling Louis icy blue eyes boring into him. “A bit messy for you, isn’t it, Malik?”

“I didn’t fucking say anything, can you just lay off?” 

Zayn really didn’t want to talk about Liam. He couldn’t fucking think about him, not with his mouth still dry and heavy, missing his cock even though it had been less than hour. 

“Nah, you’re not gonna get out of it that easily, mate. Or maybe …” Zayn looked up just to see Louis’ eyes turn bright and his mouth break into a grin, his sharp cheekbones contrasting harshly with his smile, “I could just talk about Harry more, or even better,  _ ask _ Harry if he knows anything about you and little ole Leemo.”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Tommo,” Zayn seethed, suddenly getting angry. This was all a joke to Louis, of course it was, but to Zayn, it was anything but that. This was his career, and he, Zayn, was singlehandedly fucking it up, and now Louis was laughing at him about it. “This is serious Louis, like really serious, ok? Harry cannot know about this. He can’t.”

“Ooh, well so much for you not saying anything,” Louis said, still smiling wickedly. Zayn sighed, knowing he had lost, and Louis winked at him. “Alright, so spill.” 

Zayn was about to speak when the waitress came back. “Good afternoon boys, what can I get for you?” She was exactly what you expected a waitress to be, kind, a bit older than forty, but definitely not old enough to be immune to the magic that was Louis and Zayn. They knew they were hot separately, but together they could be positively deadly. The waitress’ eyes sparkled as she fully took in the two gorgeous men before her. It didn’t matter that they were just in sweats and t-shirts. She continued with a bit more gusto to her voice. “Do you guys need a moment, or are you ready now?” At her last word she turned to Zayn and winked at him. Zayn was kind enough, and frankly used to this enough, to smile warmly back at her.

“I’ll just have a cheeseburger, medium, plain, thank you, and a water. Louis?” Zayn finished his order, giving the waitress a nice big smile for her apt timing, and looked at Louis expectantly.

“I’ll just have steak and potatoes, love,” Louis said, laying on his already thick Yorkshire accent even more as he gazed up at the woman. It worked just as he wanted; her face flushed profusely at the term of endearment. She scribbled onto her pad, trying to hide her excitement, but looking up at Louis with a dopey smile on her face every few seconds. God, Louis could be such a flirt; men, women, it didn’t matter, he just loved the attention. And in all honesty, Zayn didn’t mind, because it meant that some of the glaring attention he usually got was lessened just enough to be bearable. The waitress finished their orders, still pink in the face, practically curtsied, and then left them alone again.

“Don’t you dare give her your number … not today,” Zayn said, laughing, “She might die on site if you do. Just, just be normal, yeah?”

“Eh, wasn’t going to, just nice to have a laugh,” Louis said, not unkindly. 

“She’s no Harry though,” Zayn said, just under his breath.

“You’re fucking right there Zee,” Louis responded without a beat, “No one is like Harry. God in heaven, I’ve never felt more stupid in my life. He had me in the palm of his hand, so fucking embarrassing.” Louis just laughed at himself ,but Zayn actually felt a little bad, and was pleased that Louis wasn’t talking about Liam anymore.

“If you makes you feel better, he looked just as gone as you did.” Zayn said, patting his friend reassuring on the hand.

“Really?” Louis said, looking up at Zayn with surprisingly vulnerable eyes. 

“Yeah, man, and Harry’s a good guy. Odd and weirdly upbeat, but he’s genuine. Too good for you, that’s for sure,” Zayn said, and Louis smacked him from across the table. 

“Oww, mate, I was joking! Ok, not really, but … stop hitting me, you wanker,” Zayn complained, shoving Louis’ grabby hands off of him. 

“Well then,” Louis cleared his throat and Zayn couldn’t look him in the eye, knowing what was coming. Louis was propping his elbows on the table and staring at Zayn like he was in an interview, but with an extra mischievous glint in his eye. “So tell me about Liam.” Louis waggled his eyebrows knowingly at Zayn, who just scoffed back, “Why him? Why at work? And what the fuck changed?”

Fuck, Zayn thought that Louis might’ve forgotten. 

“Those are a lot of questions, mate” Zayn rebuffed, gratefully accepting the water that their ever eager waitress had hurriedly brought to them. “and I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit,” Louis was back to his no nonsense self again and Zayn knew he had to tell him something. But what? Zayn didn’t even know if  _ he  _ knew the answers to those questions … Maybe louis could actually help? God, Zayn knew things were dire if he was actually thinking of going to Louis for help and advice.

“To be honest, Lou, I have no idea what changed. I was fine yesterday. Liam was just … the annoying PA guy who happened to stare at me, just like everyone else. But today … something was different. I don’t know how to explain it. “

Louis nodded, actually seeming like he was listening for once, and Zayn was reminded yet again how lucky he was to have Louis as his best friend, even if he was an asshole sometimes. 

“Yeah, but you complained about him so often that I’m honestly not surprised that this happened,” Louis said, but he stopped as their waitress came back over to them, steaming plates of food in hand.

“Be careful boys, they’re hot,” she said, and she winked at Louis as she set his plate in front of him. “You boys need anything else, just let me know.” She sauntered off while Zayn tried to hide a giggle behind his hand. 

“Thank fuck, I’m starving,” Louis said and he dug into his food with gusto.

“Not so fast, Tommo,” Zayn said, lightly stabbing him with his fork. “Back to what you just said …” But Louis was busy stuffing his face with mashed potatoes and just waved off Zayn’s attack. Zayn waited patiently, just watching as Louis ate mouthful after mouthful, but he wasn’t wavering. 

“How did you know?” Zayn finally said, almost defeated as he set his burger down. 

Louis looked up at him, confused, but he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, cocking his head to the side. “How’d I know about what? About you and Liam?”

“Yea, that, you idiot, what else would I be talking about!” Zayn snapped, having no idea where his defensive tone was coming from.

“Whoa, Jesus, Zayn, calm down,” Louis whispered, looking around the diner, “I just … I didn’t mean it in a bad way … fuck, this has you all wound up. Ok, just hear me out, and don’t shout, ok?”

Zayn just looked down and nodded. Louis was going to tell him what he thought whether Zayn liked it or not, but maybe Louis could actually help this time. 

“So like, I just … you talked about him a lot. I don’t think you realized it man … but you always fit him in somehow. Nothing crazy, but he was always just … there. Like he was always on your mind or something. And then when you did actually talk about him directly, it was like you were trying to convince yourself as to how horrible he was, saying he was bossy or annoying you or making fun of his fitted clothes … I could actually see you fighting it.”

Zayn just gaped at Louis. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zayn said, cause he genuinely couldn't think of anything else to say. How the fuck was Louis so goddam perceptive?

“Cut the shit Malik, you’ve already fucked the guy, now do you want my help or not? Not sure I can actually help, but Christ, I can at least listen to you. Zayn, you don’t have to lie to me, to hide from me. Whatever anyone else thinks about you is rubbish, but me and you, it’s the real deal. You don’t have to pretend, ok? If you fancy Liam, then you do, and we’ll fucking figure out what to do about it.” Louis paused, and Zayn could see him steeling himself over what he was about to say. “This doesn’t make you weak, Zayn.”

Silence filled the diner. Well, it did for Zayn, at least. Because that was it. That was the crux of this whole fucking thing. 

Zayn had been weak.

“But it does Louis, it does, and I’m … I’m not weak.” Zayn said resolutely, trying to gain some of himself back. 

“Zayn, stop it … Please,” Louis actually looked pitifully at him, and Zayn wasn’t sure if he hated it or appreciated it. “Ok, well I won’t talk about it anymore, ok? For right now at least, I can tell that you still have a lot to think about, but I just want you know that I’m here, ok? I am here for you.”

“Thanks mate,” Zayn was just able to mumble, smiling weakly as he took a bite of his burger. They finished their lunch in relative silence, though Zayn’s brain was still whirring. 

Louis walked Zayn back to the studio, giving him an extra clap on the back as they hugged goodbye. 

“See you at the flat, Malik. And …” Louis looked at him, really looked at Zayn, and Zayn couldn’t look away. “Don’t beat yourself up. You’re strong, alright? Just … allow yourself to just  _ be  _ for once, ok?” Louis gripped his shoulders, and then walked away, waving over his shoulder as he went to the bus stop, and Zayn just smiled, waving back at him.

Louis really was a good friend.

Zayn turned to look up at the building, tall and sleek, and took a big deep breath. 

_ Just let yourself be for once _

***

Zayn made his way back into the studio, through the bright stainless steel lobby into the sleek elevators and all the way up to the fifth floor. The elevator doors opened, and everything seemed like it was going in slow motion for Zayn. He balled his fist tightly in an attempt to collect himself, but as the doors opened up to the studio, he saw there was no need. It was almost empty, Harry’s mention of an early day being spot on as everything was all packed up for the day; there were only a few employees left, milling around doing last minute tasks. 

This was good, because Zayn didn’t really want to deal with all the hustle and bustle that usually filled this place, but now that he was here, the silence was deafening. It seemed to force him to think as he stepped into the open space.

What did Liam want him for? And why did Zayn suddenly care so much? 

Too much had happened in a short amount of time, Zayn had gotten careless. Opening up to a guy he barely liked, someone he worked with? Getting on his knees for him like such a fucking weak sub? Zayn was not weak … it made him feel sick. Had Liam used him? 

_ The better question to ask, Malik, is whether or not you liked it?  _

He had, and therein lied problem. But there was something different about Liam, Zayn hated to admit it. He seemed safe. He seemed like he wanted to make Zayn feel good, not for his own pleasure, but for Zayn’s. It was intoxicating, to say the least. 

Just yesterday, Zayn had barely cared about Liam. Well according to Louis, that was bullshit, but what did that asshole know about anything anyways? Ok, Louis was actually really quite perceptive about shit, though Zayn would never admit it to him to his face. 

But Liam? Zayn genuinely couldn’t figure out what was going on. It had only been a few weeks and really only a few hours and now it was like he was pulling his hair out over him. 

Zayn just wanted to be in control again.

_ No Zayn, you want Liam in control. You wanna gag on his cock again, make him come undone from just your mouth.  _

Fuck. Now Zayn was getting hard and he was still standing near the elevators, only having moved a few feet down the hallway. 

_ Get it together Zayn, just go to his office and see what he wants. It’s no big deal.  _

What if Liam wanted nothing to do with him? What if he wanted to tell him it had all been a mistake? That would be the smart thing to do, but Zayn didn’t want that. He didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but it definitely wasn’t that. 

His dick didn’t seem to agree, but Zayn just took a deep breath and adjusted his sweatpants. He really should not have worn them today.

Zayn crossed the studio, making his way to where he remembered Liam’s office being, right in the center of everything. He noticed after a few steps that the door was just barely open and he could hear voices coming from inside. 

“That’s awfully nice of you Payne, I’m going to have to repay the favor somehow,” Zayn heard a man say from inside the room, and immediately Zayn’s stomach dropped.

“Don’t sweat it, I was happy to do it, and to be honest, you needed all the help you could get. Hopeless, you are,” Zayn’s stomach jumped right back into his chest and up into his throat at the sound of Liam’s voice, so soft and smooth, but low and commanding at the same time. He sounded like he was smiling, laughing even, his eyes probably all crinkled with his smile. Who was Liam speaking to? Was he flirting with them? Should Zayn not have come? Did Liam routinely fuck his co-workers and this guy was just another one?

“Hey be nice, I’m plenty good,” the man laughed right back at Liam. “I’ll have the spreadsheet ready for you to look over tomorrow, alright?” Oh, ok. Just work stuff. 

Zayn needed to get a fucking grip.

“Absolutely, Andy, then I’ll show Harry and we’ll go from there, yeah?” Liam was moving around, shifting papers on his desk, Zayn was sure, and then, without warning, a very tall, very attractive man exited Liam’s office.

The man, Andy, looked right at Zayn as he said, “Bye Payne, I’ll see you tomorrow,” and Zayn could hear Liam say bye back as Andy shut the door behind himself.

“Sorry,” Zayn muttered awkwardly. What the fuck was going on. Zayn was NOT awkward. This was getting stupid, and Zayn took a big deep breath and stood up straight, tucking his hair behind his ear, batting his eyelashes just so. “I only came to see Liam for a second, he’s not busy is he?”

Andy smiled brightly at him. “No he’s good, man, we just finished up.” 

Zayn did not want to think about this gorgeous man standing close to Liam in his secluded office, but he pushed the jealousy down cause he was better than that. Hopefully.

Zayn watched Andy walk away and he felt something burn in his stomach. Hadn’t Liam been happy with him just a few hours ago? Intoxicated by him? Desperate to make him feel good and hadn’t Zayn been good for him? Liam had said that, said those words to him … 

_ “You’re so good for me, Zayn.” _

So what was Andy doing then? And Zayn tried to tell himself it was nothing, that it was work, that he was being irrational, but something ugly had turned in his belly. He felt so territorial, it was driving him mad, and he had no right. 

Zayn was just standing outside of Liam’s office and he was angry and confused and mad and suddenly aroused. Liam was just feet away from him. Maybe he could prove to him that he was good, that even if nothing had happened with Andy that Liam didn’t need anyone else to …

_ Stop this Zayn! He is not your boyfriend and nor do you want him to be. Get it together and stop being weak.  _

Weak. Zayn Malik was not weak.

He touched the bruises on his wrist that Liam had given him this morning. They still felt warm under his fingers. 

_ Just walk into the fucking office. _

Zayn took a step forward and knocked. 

“Come in!” Liam’s voice was loud and cheery, and Zayn melted instantly. He was so screwed. He opened the door and the view was breathtaking.

Liam was sitting in his office, on his cushy chair with his legs propped up on the desk, his sleeves still rolled up showing off his tanned arms and tattoos, and he was reading Zayn’s own  _ Ironman _ comic. 

It was like the perfect wet dream. 

Zayn instantly felt his cock get hard. Not a semi, but fully achingly hard, just from the image of Liam reading his fucking comic in front of him. His brain went fuzzy and his body started moving on its own, he couldn’t help it.

But if anything was going to happen, it was going to on his terms.

Zayn closed and locked the door behind him, and before Liam could look up from the comic, Zayn was right in front of him. He took the comic unceremoniously out of Liam’s hands, barely registering the stunned look on Liam’s face, and climbed into Liam’s lap.

Zayn immediately pushed his dick, which was now straining painfully in his pants, against Liam’s own, which was definitely starting to wake up at the sudden unexpected contact. He heard rather than saw Liam take a quick breath, but Zayn was moving forward now, too fast to process. Without thinking, Zayn put his hand on Liam’s cheek and dragged it along to the back of his neck and tugging at the short hair there,  Zayn brought his lips crashing down onto Liam’s.

Zayn felt like the hours that their lips had been a part was an eternity. He didn’t realize how much he missed the feeling of Liam’s hot mouth and full lips on his own until right now, and he made a mental note to make sure it never happened again.

“Fuck, Zayn,” Liam moaned. He was moving his tongue across Zayn’s lips, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, and Zayn was bucking shamelessly against Liam, but Liam brought his hands up and firmly placed them on Zayn’s hips, “Shh … baby I’m right here, I’m gonna take of care of you, ok?”

“Liam …” Zayn was moaning into his mouth, his arms wrapped around Liam’s neck, kissing him desperately. He had no idea where this came from. Maybe it was some sick way for him to get control back, but all he wanted now was to make Liam feel good, to be good for him. It was so important, somehow. To prove to Liam he was worth keeping around. It was as if that was the only thought it in his head and he felt as if he was sending that to Liam with every kiss he pressed against him.

Liam seemed so much bigger than Zayn in this position, his warm hands sliding down to Zayn’s ass and gripping him firmly through his thin sweatpants. Liam was enveloping him, their mouths moving together in perfect harmony. Hot lips, warm tongues, heavy breaths, Zayn’s lithe body wrapping around Liam’s like his life depended on it. 

With one sudden movement, Liam was standing up, bringing Zayn with him, their mouths never leaving each other as they stood suspended in time. The kiss had turned even more hot and desperate, their lips slick with spit, teeth knocking together as Zayn’s brain stopped working. Liam was so strong; Zayn could feel his muscles contracting against his own body, which only made Zayn impossibly harder. Liam set Zayn on top of his desk, surprisingly gracefully, and set his hands on either side of Zayn’s narrow hips, flat on the desk, bracketing him in. 

“Zayn,” Liam’s breath was hot against Zayn’s neck and Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s hard body, the one hovering over him so invitingly. Liam moved his hand over Zayn’s thigh, up, and right over his hard cock that was showing clearing through the thin layer of cotton. Zayn hissed at the contact, but Liam just kissed his neck whispering, “Fuck, babe, you feel so good. So hard for me already?” 

Zayn could barely think, what with Liam’s mouth up his jaw while the palm of his hand pushed so wonderfully against his dick, but he suddenly remembered that Liam had actually called him here for some reason. 

_ Words, Zayn, use your words. _

“Why did you …  _ fuck _ …why did you call me here?” Zayn finally pieced the sentence together, but Liam didn’t seem to be listening to Zayn’s question as he was now moving his nimble fingers up to the waistband of Zayn’s sweats, begging permission. “Leeyum,” Zayn whined into his mouth, because now of course Liam was kissing him again, and it was like nothing mattered when this was happening. How Zayn had gone his whole 25 years without knowing what kissing Liam Payne felt like, he wasn’t sure. 

But still, he needed to know why.

“Why?” Zayn all but breathed the question again, enjoying the feel of Liam’s soft lips moving against his own, but he decided to bite Liam’s bottom lip, hard, so as to fully get his attention.

“Fuck, Zayn,” Liam finally broke away from him and Zayn was already missing him, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Liam’s eyes were glazed over, pupils blown, and his hair was sticking up in every direction. Zayn’s handiwork, he was proud to see.

“Why did you call me back?” Zayn asked, hooking his fingers into Liam’s belt loops and bringing him impossibly closer to him.

“The reason or the excuse?” Liam said with a smirk, cocking his head to one side while looking at Zayn really for the first time since he walked in. They both gave a little laugh, Liam resting his forehead against Zayn’s, and he thought then that the moment should’ve been awkward, but it wasn’t.

“Both,” Zayn said, bringing up his hand to stroke Liam’s face. God, he was so beautiful. How did he not see it before? Too wrapped up in his own head, maybe, but Zayn was just grateful that he got the opportunity to drink him in now. His warm brown eyes that crinkled when he smiled, his soft skin with just a hint of stubble at his jaw, his short thick hair that, if it were longer, Zayn thinks, might actually be curly, and his incredibly fit body that Zayn could not wait to be under. Zayn looked back up at Liam waiting for an answer and saw that Liam was biting his lip, seemingly nervous, so Zayn took his thumb and swiped across it, right where Liam had just been biting. That little action made Liam giggle and a smile broke over his face. 

“Well,” Liam cleared his throat, “you left so suddenly this morning, I … I wasn’t sure if you would actually come back.” Liam was leaning forward again, he seemed to relish in the proximity of their bodies just as much as Zayn did, and he was practically speaking into his mouth now, “So I remembered you left this,” and Liam pointed to Zayn’s  _ Ironman _ comic that was on the desk, “so I decided to give it back to you, uhh, personally.”

“And what was the real reason?” Zayn said, smiling up at him as he intertwined his hands behind Liam’s neck.

“Well,” Liam leaned down and gave Zayn a light kiss on his lips, “I will say this has gone much better than how I planned,” and he kissed him again, sending electricity shooting down Zayn’s spine with every touch, “I’m shit at flirting and … and whatever this is, so … “

“You’re really not that bad,” Zayn said, leaning up and kissing Liam this time, making the boy smile against his mouth, “you’re actually really,  _ really  _ good.” Zayn’s voice had suddenly gone all raspy and low with his last statement and Liam definitely noticed. He moved even closer to Zayn.

“If I remember correctly, you were the good one,” Liam’s voice was raw now and Zayn absolutely melted as he felt Liam’s hands move slowly from the desk up to squeeze at his hips, “so good for me, baby.” 

“Yeah?” Zayn’s brain was going fuzzy again, he wanted to be strong, show Liam that he wasn’t just someone to be used … but did he really think Liam was going to do that? God, he didn’t know … But as Zayn lifted his head up to look at Liam, Liam was staring right back at him.

“You ok, Zayn?” Liam’s voice was all concern now, pretense gone.

“I …” It was like his brain had shut off. He didn’t know what to say.

“Zayn, we don’t have to do this … we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Liam was still holding onto him, but his entire stance had changed. He was standing there, strong and worried over Zayn, his face was full of it, and Zayn couldn’t understand why he cared so much. Liam took a deep breath as Zayn’s silence continued. 

“Ok, so we should probably talk about earlier” Liam said, “it was quite unexpected. I … I’m not usually like that, without …” Liam seemed like he was at a loss for words, but he finally just looked right  at Zayn and said, “without setting ground rules first. Discussing things. Safety. Colors. My goal is to make you feel safe and,” Liam brought his hand up to Zayn’s face and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, “and I’m not sure if I succeeded at that, judging by your wary silence.”

Zayn just looked at Liam, really taking him in. He was so close, their faces only inches apart, and Liam’s face just radiated kindness, it seemed impossible, but maybe … maybe he was genuine. 

“Did I hurt you, Zayn? Make you uncomfortable? Make you feel like I would cause you any harm in any way?” Zayn just kept looking at him, so Liam pressed him, his voice remaining calm and soft. Zayn could see that he was trying to get an answer from him, but Zayn, he just didn’t have one yet. “Zayn, just answer me. I want to apologize if I crossed any boundaries because I …. I just lost control, Zayn. You, you make me feel … I can’t even explain it. Fuck, I don’t even know how to … Zayn, please.” Liam was stumbling over all his words, looking sad and flustered, and he just let his head fall into Zayn’s neck, his hot breath making Zayn shiver.

_ Just let yourself be for once _

“I felt safe.” Zayn said simply. That was the only thing his brain could process, and why he has felt so uneasy, because at the end of the day he SHOULDN’T feel safe … he doesn’t know Liam from Adam, but he can’t lie to himself and now that Liam just looked so incredibly broken up about it, about hurting Zayn when he did that opposite of that, Zayn just wanted to make him feel better. Make him feel good. 

“You did?” Liam perked up, lifting his head, “Are you sure you’re not just saying that?”

“No, I … Yes Liam. I felt so safe, and so fucking taken care of and it scares the fucking shit out of me, ok? Like … I … I’ve subbed before,” and Zayn just barely whispered the last part, cringing at the admission, “but it never felt anything like what happened earlier today.”

“Oh babe, I’ve never experienced anything like that either … you were just so … I can’t even express how incredible you were …” now Liam was laughing, these little light giggles and Zayn was just mesmerized by him, and he now had both hands on Zayn’s face to soothe him, his eyes almost crinkled shut by his smile. “Problem is, it should never have happened. Harry literally told me we couldn’t right when I went to your dressing room … but then I saw you and just… you drive me insane. Like from the moment you stepped into my office, and like, I don’t let shit get to me, but you, Zayn, you fucking got to me.”

“Just stop talking and kiss me,” Zayn said throwing every fucking worry out the window as he roughly brought his hands up to cup Liam’s face and he kissed him, hard and with purpose. Zayn wasn’t fucking around anymore. He wanted Liam, and he wanted him now. 

“Zayn,” Liam groaned obscenely into his mouth. He grabbed Zayn’s hips, his fingers digging painfully into his skin while his voice shifted to the commanding voice he adopted earlier this morning, and  _ oh god yes _ this was exactly what Zayn wanted. “Zayn, stand up.” Liam pushed slowly back from the desk, breaking their kissing, and putting a lot of unwanted distance between their bodies. 

Zayn batted his eyes a few times, a bit dazed, but when he looked up at Liam his whole body seemed to catch on fire. He lifted himself off the desk, never breaking eye contact with Liam, and stood up. Just as he was told. 

“Good,” Liam smiled at him, his eyes dark, “now walk over to the wall.” Zayn did just that, a smirk plastered to his face he reveled in Liam’s eyes drinking him. He walked to the wall where Liam had pointed and then stopped ... Liam hadn’t told him anything else to do … yet.

“Now, face the wall and place your palms against it,” Liam’s voice was really way too sexy to be allowed, and it made his whole body tremble as he placed his palms flat against the wall. Zayn wondered if anyone else had been in this office, if Liam had done this with anyone else, or if he was special. 

“Perfect,” and now Liam was right behind him, his voice breathing in his ear, but he wasn’t touching him yet. Zayn had been hard for like a half hour and Liam was teasing him … but fuck he knew it was going to be worth it. “Now Zayn, what are your colors.”

“My, my colors?” Zayn let go of his breath that he didn’t know he was holding, “Oh right. My colors.” He took a deep breath, and focused, trying to not remember the last time he said this. The last guy who had wanted to control him, who thought he was taking care of him but actually only wanting to take care of himself. 

_ This is different, Zayn, Liam is different. _

Zayn steadied himself, “Green is everything is good, Yellow is don’t stop but it’s a little too much, and red is full stop, no questions asked.” 

“Good,” Liam said approvingly and Zayn beamed, “Use the colors. There is no punishment in the way I play. I am only here to make you feel good, do you understand?” Liam’s mouth was grazing against his ear and Zayn whimpered at his words. This was definitely different. He could do different. 

Liam was still behind him, but he was silent.

“Can I touch you?” Liam asked him, finally, and Zayn was taken back by the question. 

“Yes, please,” Zayn begged, “It’s all I want.” His voice was strained with desire, but he didn’t care anymore, he needed Liam’s hands on him, needed his lips against his skin like he needed air.

Liam wasted no time. He grabbed Zayn’s hips and spun him around, Zayn was startled and almost lost his balance, but Liam was strong and held him in place, pushing him back roughly against the wall and bring his lips down to Zayn’s again. 

When their lips touched again it was like breathing for the first time and Zayn just reveled in every sensation. From Liam’s wet lips moving hungrily against his own, to his hands pinning him against the wall, one pushing on his shoulder the other digging into his hips, keeping him firmly in place. Zayn lifted his arms and wrapped them tightly around Liam’s neck, a moan of approval escaped the younger boy’s lips, and Zayn just gripped him harder. Liam pressed his fucking incredible body roughly against Zayn’s, their chests now flush, and it made Zayn gasp as Liam lifted Zayn’s leg up, bringing them impossibly closer.

It was as if any space between them was not allowed, any part of their bodies not touching was a crime against sex. Liam’s hands were all over Zayn; on his face, in his hair, tugging at his shirt and his pants, pressing into his ass. “Liam ...  god ... you feel so fucking  good,” Zayn was panting as he kissed down Liam’s jaw, down to his neck and started biting softly right on his pulse point. 

“Shit,” Liam growled, his hands losing some of their finesse as he grabbed roughly at Zayn’s shirt. “This, off, now.” Liam tugged again at the t-shirt and Zayn just lifted his hands with no argument, “Pants too,” and then those were gone as well. Zayn was now completely naked, cock leaking precum against his thigh, right in front of a fully clothed Liam,  _ again. _

“No fair,” Zayn pouted, pulling at the hem of Liam’s button up. “I wanna see,” and with that Liam just smirked, unbuttoning his shirt at lightning speed, exposing his chest and abs to Zayn. 

“Okay,  _ now  _ it’s really not fair, fucking Christ, Liam!” Zayn just laid both hands on Liam’s chest, feeling the muscles under his fingertips, and he spun them both around, Liam now against the wall. “You are so beautiful.” Zayn leaned forward and begin leaving kisses all over Liam’s bare chest, biting hard when he reached his nipples and Liam swore loudly. Zayn was very glad everyone was pretty much gone for the day, but it might’ve been nice to have people hear how good he made Liam feel. 

Liam’s skin tasted so good, like salt and wood and cherries, and Zayn wasted no time unbuttoning Liam’s pants, hoping to taste even more of him again. 

Liam took off his shoes and stepped out of his jeans while Zayn’s eyes never left him. Liam was one of those people who was deceptively beautiful. You might not notice it at first, but when you did holy fuck, you would never forget it. Zayn knew that would he never get the image of Liam naked in front of him out of his mind anytime soon, not with Liam’s perfect cock and hard abs and soft lips just looking so goddam inviting. 

Zayn moved to put his mouth on Liam, but to his surprise, Liam stopped him, his hand pulling at Zayn’s soft black hair, “No, baby, I have other plans. Stand up.” Zayn pouted slightly up at Liam but his body filled with anticipation as he stood up again and let Liam guide him back to wall, palms up. 

Liam placed one of his large hands on Zayn’s thin waist, his thumb stroking the solid black heart inked into his hip. Liam then placed his other hand right on Zayn’s bare ass. Fuck, this was too good to be true, and Zayn’s suspicions were confirmed when Liam whispered in his ear, “So Mr. Malik, how do we feel about spanking?”

Zayn swallowed hard as he felt more precome leak on his already wet thigh, and he responded, with a slight squeak to his voice, “Very good.” 

“You left me so abruptly this morning. That wasn’t good was it?” Liam’s voice was hot and demanding his ear, his hand still caressing his bottom deceptively. 

“No … not good at all ... bad.” Zayn choked out, his body shaking with want.

“And you want to be good, yes?” Liam asked, his hand stilling over his skin.

“Yes, so good ... please,” Zayn gasped out, desperate now. 

Liam rubbed his hand over Zayn’s ass one more time before a resounding  _ smack _ filled the office. “Fuck yes!  _ Liam _ ,” Zayn placed his forehead against the wall and stuck his ass our farther into the air begging for more attention.

“Color?” Liam asked tentatively.

“Green,” Zayn answered quickly, he just wanted Liam to hit him again. Harder and faster. He wanted to be sore and red and bruised tomorrow because of Liam’s hands. 

“Wonderful,” Liam growled into his ear and he smacked him again. And again. And  _ again _ . 

“Shit, it feels so good Liam, please don’t stop.” Zayn was whimpering, sagging against the wall, his ass tingling and his cock pulsing, he was going to come soon just from this but he didn’t want to, he wanted to make this last. 

“Does it feel good, baby?” Liam purred into Zayn’s ear while he rubbed his hand soothingly over his other cheek before landing a hard slap there making Zayn’s whole body shiver in pain.

“Yellow,” Zayn whispered.

“You want it softer, love?” Liam asked, his voice low and concerned.

“Just a bit, but  _ please _ keep going.” Zayn turned his face to Liam’s who was so close to him already, and kissed him. Sweet and soft and Liam tasted like coke and sugar, and Zayn hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. 

“Ok baby, I’m gonna make you feel really good, alright?” Liam broke away from him and was spanking him again. He had moved behind Zayn now and was using two hands to hit his ass, and holy fuck, this was how it was supposed to be. Zayn couldn’t help but grin against the wall every time Liam’s hand made contact with skin, and he was reaching such an amazing high. Liam was  _ good _ at this. He knew what he was doing, he had gauged Zayn’s pain tolerance and now there was no pain, only pleasure with each strike.

_ Smack smack smack  _

“You’re taking this so well, your ass looks so good. So red and hot for me,” Liam spoke in rhythm with his hands, building up speed and Zayn wasn’t sure if he could take the pleasure for much longer.

“Fuck, this feel amazing,” Zayn exhaled against the wall and without thinking he said, “Harder daddy,  _ harder. _ ”

“Shit, say that again, Zee,” Liam’s voice was hoarse now and he kept going, kept hitting him as Zayn whispered  _ Daddy, daddy, fuck yes, don’t stop,  _ and Zayn felt his body steadily going numb. He buckled involuntarily as Liam placed a resound smack to both his cheeks. 

Liam removed his hands and pressed his body right up against Zayn’s, his chest to Zayn’s back that was now glistening with sweat. “So fucking good, Christ, do you feel what you to do me Zayn?” and Zayn felt Liam’s thick cock press against his ass cheeks; it was hot and hard and Zayn thought was going to come right then and there. 

“Do you want your reward baby, for being so good for me?” Liam spoke into the crook of Zayn’s neck, kissing all the way up to his jaw.

“Yes daddy, so much”

“Mmmmm, good, I’m gonna taste you now, wanna feel your hot flushed skin against my mouth,” Liam gave Zayn a hard bite on his neck and Zayn knew it was going to leave a mark. There were going to be lots of marks to remember today.

His smile was wiped clean of his face as felt Liam drop to his knees behind him and without any warning buried his face in Zayn’s ass. Liam took his hands and spread Zayn’s cheeks apart, and before Zayn could prepare himself, Liam had licked a long stripe right over his hole, ripping a moan out of Zayn’s chest. 

“So fucking tight Zayn, you taste incredible.” Liam licked him again, and again, and again. No teasing, just action. His tongue was relentless as his hands dug into Zayn’s already bruised cheeks, licking in and around his hole, Zayn definitely wasn’t going to last long. Then Liam’s tongue was replaced was a single finger and Zayn felt it, his orgasm was coming, white hot, and as Liam pushed his spit slicked finger deeper inside Zayn he cried out as he came untouched. 

He didn’t even think about touching himself, everything else had felt so good and now, with his come dripping down his thigh, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand up. Liam was one step ahead of him, wrapping his arms tightly around Zayn’s waist, placing Zayn gently on the ground, facing him. Liam smiled at him, it was so brilliant that Zayn couldn’t help but smile back, but then he looked down and Liam’s still very hard cock. 

“I wanna taste, Li,” Zayn said blearily up at the beautiful man in front of him. “Stand up babe, want you to come on my face,”

Zayn inwardly smiled as Liam bolted to his feet so fast, almost resembling the kid he actually was. He positioned himself expertly in front of Zayn’s face and began jerking himself off, and it only took a few tugs for Liam to spill over Zayn’s open mouth, tongue, and cheeks. Thankfully, it missed his hair, though Zayn thought that he might not have cared even if it did get in his hair, he was so gone. 

Zayn licked his lips, and yes, Liam tasted just as good as he remembered. He wiped at his face with his hands, and damn, he was so fucked out now he wasn’t sure if he could move from floor, but he was sure that Liam would want to clean up the mess in his office as soon as possible. Probably had other meetings to attend to. He was a busy man after all. 

As if Zayn could tell the future, Liam’s phone rang and Zayn’s heart sank.

Zayn just wanted to cuddle and sleep. Fuck, but he just laid himself on the floor, ignoring the ringing and curling his small body into the fetal position; he was thankful it was carpet, the texture soothing against his skin.

To Zayn’s great surprise, he heard the ringing stop and Liam whisper from above him, “budge over a little,” and as Zayn shifted further away from the wall, his heart expanding against his will as Liam fitted himself right behind him, the perfect big spoon. Zayn leaned back against Liam’s body and he thought, in that moment, that he had never connected with anybody so effortlessly in his life. This was so not normal for him, but he was too high on sex and pain to care.

He felt Liam slide his hand slowly over his ass, the cold of his fingers feeling amazing against Zayn’s tender skin. “You ok?” Liam breathed against his ear, giving him soft kisses down his neck. 

“Never better, actually, but what about your phone call?” and Zayn rolled over to face Liam.

“There are more important things to attend to right now,” Liam replied, smoothing Zayn’s hair and tucking it carefully behind his ear and Zayn was struck again by Liam’s beauty. His soft features and warm eyes and perfect lips, all pink and puffy now. Zayn moved forward and gave him a long slow kiss. Their lips lingered and glided slowly together as they savored the moment, their post high, what they missed earlier this morning.

“You’re so gorgeous Zayn, I just can’t get over it,” Liam said against Zayn’s lips, pressing their foreheads together, and Zayn actually giggled. “What?” Liam sounded taken aback as he leaned back to look at Zayn

“Nothing, it’s just,” and Zayn kissed him again, “I was literally just thinking the same thing about you.”

Liam looked as if Zayn had said the most amazing thing he’d ever heard in his life. He propped himself on his arm and just looked down at Zayn searchingly before kissing him again, just perfect wonderful kisses. Liam draped his body over Zayn and their naked skin connected like two puzzle pieces. Liam kissed Zayn like he was never going to be able to kiss him again, but Zayn was going to make sure that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. Now that he knew what being with Liam was like, it was likehe knew world’s best kept secret and there was no way he was going to let that get away from him. 

They stayed there for a while, just kissing and touching each other, nothing leading to anything but the moment at hand. Liam’s large hands all over Zayn’s body, his soft tan skin contrasting wonderfully with Zayn’s inked body, Liam constantly having to move Zayn’s long hair out of both their faces as they laughed quietly into each other’s mouths. 

_ Knock knock knock. _

“Shit, not again” Liam said under his breath, maybe they’ll go away if we’re quiet.” Liam put a finger to Zayn’s mouth, kissing him again. 

_ Knock knock knock _

“Liam James Payne, it is your mother.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam is sad and Zayn is an asshole.
> 
> I suck at summaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've been working on other projects but I promise I am still working on this.  
> Thank you guys for reading this, it means so much.  
> If you like it leave kudos and comments! they mean the world to me <3
> 
> Big thanks to my beta Julia who read this while I was writing the whole time and let me know I was going in the right direction. Thanks always to my editor Liz who gave me fabulous comments even tho she is hella biased to Larry lmao.  
> Love you guys, couldn't do it without you.  
> Xoxoxo

_ “Liam James Payne, it’s your mother. If you won’t answer your phone, at least do me the courtesy of answering the door.”  _

Oh my god, why was she here? Liam hadn’t thought twice about ignoring her phone call earlier, not when Zayn was so pliant and sleepy and in much need of aftercare. But now, with both of them naked on the floor of his office with his mother standing outside, it seemed like the worst mistake. 

Liam looked imploringly at Zayn, whose face had gone as white as Liam’s own felt, and all he could do was mouth  _ I’m sorry  _ over and over again.

“For crying out loud, Liam, I know you’re in there! I called Harry after I couldn’t get ahold of you.” Wow, Liam was gonna kill Harry, for sure. 

He got quickly to his feet, Zayn right behind him, and they both changed at top speed. 

Once Liam at least had his pants and shirt on, he had Zayn hide behind the door - not the most dignified moment for either of them - and he opened the door slowly.

“Hey mum,” Liam said, rubbing his eyes and feigning sleep. “I’m so sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep. Can we catch up another time? I still have loads of work to do.”

“Liam, finally! Darling, you look a mess, why in the world are you sleeping in your office?” Karen’s voice was kind but laced with disapproval as she stood in front of him, “and  _ no, _ we cannot do this another time. I came all the way here because you wanted to have lunch with your dear old mum, it’s not my fault you forgot. I’ll let you get ready, but I expect you to meet me downstairs in ten minutes.  And fix your hair.” She pecked Liam on the cheek and walked over to the elevators. 

Liam closed the door and winced as he looked at Zayn, still hiding awkwardly behind the door. Liam wasn’t sure what to do now.

“I’d better go then, yeah?” Zayn said, pushing himself off the wall and adjusting his pants. Liam just watched Zayn helplessly as the model put on his shoes on and found his shirt, throwing it on quickly over his bare chest, his black heart tattoo peaking out. Liam had a horrible flashback of that morning; of Zayn leaving him. 

“Zayn,” Liam put his hand on Zayn’s stomach as he approached the door, stopping him. “I have to go to this, but … this … this was, it was good, yeah?” Liam winced at how desperate and awkward he sounded, but there was no taking it back.

However, Zayn’s mouth curved up into a small grin, “Yeah, it was. Good … yeah.”

Liam beamed back at him and pulled him in for a kiss, feeling suddenly much more in control. Zayn’s lips moved carefully against Liam’s, and Liam let his lips trail Zayn’s neck,  whispering in his ear, “So fucking good Zayn, I came so hard just from watching you.” 

“Li, stop, you’re gonna make me hard again.” Zayn said, smiling as he pulled Liam back to his lips. Liam hummed, but Zayn eventually pulled away. “I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Wait,” Liam stopped him again as he went to leave. “Is it weird like, if I ask … I mean, can I … Can I have your number?”

“You’re cute when you’re nervous, babe,” Zayn said, turning around and pulling out his phone. He paused for a moment, thinking, and then said, “Give me yours and I’ll text you.” Liam cocked his head to the side but recited his number nonetheless.  

Liam watched Zayn punch it in, and with a sinking feeling, he could see the change in Zayn already, just from a few moments ago; his body getting stiffer, more reserved, pulling away … 

“Alright then,” Zayn said, smiling his model smile, the one that kills everyone but has nothing behind it. It felt like a slap in the face to Liam, and he felt Zayn slipping through his fingers even though he never had him to begin with. 

Liam wanted to fight, wanted to beg him to stay, wanted to kiss him again, but he had nothing. He just stood there. 

“Alright,” Liam said, straightening his back and putting on what he hoped was a brave face. “See you.” 

Then Zayn was gone. 

 

***

 

Lunch with his mom was fine, great, really, but Liam’s heart just wasn’t in it. 

Liam felt wretched. His mom was so important to him and she had driven all the way up here to see him. Not only had he forgotten about their date, but he was late to it cause he was having filthy fucking amazing sex with his employee in his office … good job, Liam. 

Son of the year.

Liam just couldn’t stop replaying how Zayn had left so abruptly,  _ again _ , and so coldly; it put a sour taste in his mouth.

Karen had been lovely, however, having asked Liam how he was and if he was okay. She had hugged him and stroked his hair, making him feel needed and important. He had curled into her touch, craving to feel needed after feeling so utterly rejected. 

Liam knew Zayn hadn’t done it yet, he hadn’t  _ said _ it yet. But he had made it quite clear.

Zayn was done with him. 

After they had finished their meal, his mom had cupped his face and looked at him, hard and caring, the way she always did when she knew something was wrong. 

“Whatever it is, you’ll fix it, darling” she had said to him, petting his hair and he just nuzzled into her touch, begging himself not to cry. “You always do, Liam. I love you, my strong,  _ strong _ boy.” She had kissed his cheek, taking both his hands in hers and giving them one last squeeze before she walked off to her car. 

Liam had watched her go, feeling alone again, and knew that when he went home he would be met with the same emptiness. 

Liam had pulled into his driveway 30 minutes ago, but he couldn’t force himself to go inside. 

He just sat there.

He was so much better than this. Better than letting someone use him and make him feel shitty. Better than putting his job at risk. Better than falling for someone who was so emotionally stunted that they couldn't even allow themselves to feel.

Liam thought that was the worst of it, if he was being honest with himself. The fact that he saw Zayn, he  _ saw _ the real him … in his eyes, even for just a moment, and Liam knew that Zayn had felt …  _ something …  _ but Liam had watched that look vanish only to be replaced by ego. 

It had been too much for Zayn so he shut it down, but Liam, who was a fucking loser, went and fell for him. 

He was so stupid. 

It was starting to rain, the nice London day turning cold and dreary, and Liam felt that it was a terribly accurate representation of his plummeting mood. 

But he had to get up, get out of his car, feed Loki, and just fucking deal with it. 

Grabbing his umbrella from the back seat, Liam got out of the car and walked up the path to his townhouse; his shitty studio apartment long forgotten along with his junior title. 

Once inside, Liam was immediately bombarded by a ball of black and white fur jumping onto his knees.

“Hey baby, how are you? I missed you all day.” Liam cooed at his puppy while he folded his umbrella and put it away neatly on his coat-rack in the hallway. “Let’s go get you some dinner, ok?”

Liam walked through his living room and turned the corner to his kitchen. Everything was how he’d left it this morning; clean and pristine, just how he liked it. He fed the energetic dog, but told him sadly that he couldn’t have a walk until the rain died down, scratching behind his ears just how he knows Loki likes. 

A few hour later Liam was on the couch with chinese food on his lap, a happily walked Loki sleeping next to him, and he flicked through the channels, bored. Harry and Niall were both busy tonight, so it was just him, and he was desperately trying to convince himself that this was a good thing. 

But it had been eight hours and Zayn still hadn’t texted him. 

To be honest, Liam knew that he wouldn’t. He had seen it in Zayn’s face when he had asked for Liam’s number instead of offering his own, but the sinking disappointment currently pooling in Liam’s stomach didn’t seem to care about logic.

“Fucking hell, I don’t need this!” Liam said to the empty room, burning with frustration. Loki’s ears perked up for just a moment, but he went back to sleep, Liam petting him absently … he was just going to have to forget and not care. 

_ Good try, Payne.  _

Liam wasn’t sure that was possible, because even now as he was sitting on the sofa, full from overly processed chicken and rice, he couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn and everything that had happened today. 

How had it only been a day? Just a few hours ago, Zayn had been on his knees for him with Liam hitting him raw, and now he was home alone. Utterly rejected. 

He could still taste Zayn’s come on his tongue, and  _ no no, don’t fucking go there Payne. _ But his dick refused to listen, fattening up already just at the thought, and Liam sighed in exasperation. 

“Alright, it’s time for bed,” Liam whispered to his sleepy companion. Loki didn’t respond, but Liam got up off the couch and began cleaning up. He turned off the TV, gave his puppy a kiss on the head, and went to his bedroom. 

Closing the door behind him, Liam changed out of his clothes, leaving on only his boxers, and slid under the covers of his wonderfully comfortable bed. He sighed, getting situated, and curled up into a ball … closing his eyes, willing himself to sleep. 

_ I just want to be good for you Liam … so good, such a good boy, please ... _

Liam’s brain wouldn’t shut off and his cock was now resting hard against his belly, the head peeking out from the waistband of his boxers.

Against his better judgement, but not that Liam could really help it, he slipped his hand under his boxers and gripped his hard length. Liam let out a long sigh and  _ Christ, _ Zayn was making him insatiable. He had already come twice today from that boy’s mouth and now he needed more?

By the pulsing of his dick in his hand, yes he needed more. So much more. 

Liam slid his hand up and down, pumping himself to the memory of Zayn on his knees. The boy’s soft brown eyes turning dark with want and his mouth falling open, so ready for Liam. Liam began to pump faster, squirming in his bed as remembered how good Zayn’s ass tasted, tight and hot against his tongue. How warm his ass was as Liam hit him over and over again.

But more than anything, Liam focused on the way Zayn just gave himself over to him completely. 

Liam threw the blanket off him, pretense gone, and shucked his boxers down, freeing his hand and cock together. He was jerking himself off so quickly that it was just a blur, precome getting all over his fist, but Liam just used it to slick himself up more. He was glad the room was dark, because he actually was embarrassed at how turned on he was just from the thought of Zayn.

He hated that this guy had so much power over him. 

Zayn had given him power in those small moments, but it was all just a game to him. Zayn always held the cards,  _ always, _ and Liam was so frustrated that he had allowed himself to think even for a minute that it could be anything more. 

This didn’t stop Liam from sucking on his other fingers and carefully playing with his hole, teasing and pressing on the sensitive nerves there while he pumped his cock even harder. 

Liam could feel his orgasm coming quickly and with one last thought of coming all over Zayn’s face,  _ again,  _ he released with a low groan onto the sheets. It was messy and Liam felt used, even just by himself. 

He got up, ripped the sheets off, put on a new set, cleaned himself up, and then went back to bed.

***

Liam woke up the next morning and he felt like he had a hangover, but he knew it was just Zayn. 

Zayn who still hadn’t texted him and who he had shamelessly wanked off to last night. But he was going to have to see him and be in charge of his dressings again today. He had to fucking get it together and show Zayn that he didn’t care either. 

A part of Liam wondered ( _ hoped _ ) that  _ if _ he could pull of the whole nonchalant attitude, that maybe Zayn would sleep with him again … and maybe Liam could coerce him into falling in love with him … 

Shit, that sounded so stupid, so incredibly naive; Liam hated that Zayn was turning him into a fucking teenager. 

No more. Liam was in control of his life, and Zayn was not gonna take that away. 

He dressed, fed Loki, and while walking him through the shaded trees of his neighborhood, Liam appreciated the pleasant weather outside and decided it was indeed a new day. 

Zayn had only been in his life for a few weeks and he was gonna be out of it in a few more. Nothing he couldn’t handle. 

Liam went back inside, Loki giving him wet kisses in gratitude, and he got his things and left, locking up the house behind him. 

Liam drove to work, parked, and only as he was getting out of the car did he realize that he had forgotten to get himself coffee. 

Awesome, just what he needed today. 

Rubbing at his neck, Liam just grabbed his bag and went into the studio, determinedly not looking for Zayn as he beelined to his office and set his stuff down.

There was a cup of coffee sitting there literally with his name on it: _ Liam, thanks for everything! _ with a little heart. Liam picked it up and was confused until he recognized the handwriting. 

It was Jade. 

But …

Liam practically ran over to Zayn’s dressing room, trying not to spill the coffee in his hand, and he saw with a jolt to his heart that she was here. She was back.

“Liam!” Jade dropped the shirt she was holding and ran up to him as he was standing in the doorway, “Oh my goodness, have I missed you!”

“Hey, Jade ... you were only away for like a day, it’s alright,” Liam laughed nervously, doing his best not to look at Zayn, who of course was there, shirtless. The tattoos Liam had licked and bit and kissed just yesterday stood darkly against Zayn’s skin, mocking him, and Zayn just stood in the middle of the dressing room, unphased, looking so good that Liam didn’t think he would ever breathe normally again.

“Totally true, Liam,” Jade said, “but it felt like longer and I felt like such a shit for leaving so suddenly. My dad was rushed to the hospital. Heart attack. But he’s totally fine now, and I called Harry last night and told him I would be back today, so it’s all good!” She was beaming at him, her wide brown eyes and curly brown hair making it impossible for Liam to be mad at her. She continued “and I heard you took my place yesterday! Can’t believe it, and I hope this wanker over here didn’t give you too much trouble - diva he is,” Jade shot a joking smile over her shoulder at Zayn, who just brushed his hair out of his eyes, not giving anything away. 

“I was a perfect angel, Jade, I promise,” Zayn said, a mischievous smile on his face as he lifted his hands up, “but can we continue? I don’t want to be late, and I’m sure Liam has other places he has to be, isn’t that right, Liam?” Zayn’s expression turned from light amusement to stone cold professionalism, and Liam just stood there, quietly hurting.

Finally Liam found his voice and plastered a fake smile on his face. “Absolutely. Gotta talk to Harry before the shoot anyways, and Jade,” Liam said, looking back at the Jade, “next time, call me and not Harry, you know I’m the real one in charge.” He winked at her playfully, making her laugh. 

“Totally true, dunno what came over me!” Jade said, her eyes still smiling at him jokingly as she patted his shoulder.

“Just glad that your dad’s ok, that’s the important part.” Liam said, taking her hand and squeezing it comfortingly. 

“Ahem,” Zayn coughed, loudly, and Jade and Liam turned their heads to him, confused, when Zayn just pointed to himself.

_ What a fucking diva _ .

“Alright Li, all talk to you later,” Jade said as Liam left the doorway, and he could hear her say,  _ oi, what’s makin’ you so pissy today?  _ which made Liam smile just a little. 

Only a little, though, because  _ fuck _ . He didn’t expect Zayn to be such a dick but this really shouldn’t surprise him. Zayn was a beautiful, entitled model and Liam had played right into his hands. Liam could see it clearly now - Zayn wanted Liam only to see if he could get him, and he had succeeded. 

The game was over now, Liam had seen this before, and wow, he was stupid.

Liam was furious. Not only was he not going to be able to undress Zayn today, because he had been really  _ really _ looking forward to that, but also because his twat of a best friend hadn’t told him Jade was coming back today. 

He tore through the studio, swerving around all the bustling people, and yanked Harry’s door open, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me Jade was - BLOODY HELL, HARRY WHAT THE FUCK” Liam slammed the door shut as fast as he could, because he had never  _ ever  _ wanted to see Harry on his knees with a dick in his mouth, and some guy’s hands tugging at his hair. 

Liam just stood outside the door, not really sure what to do, but he could hear Harry shouting  _ There’s something called knocking, Liam! _

Christ, Harry, it’s 8 in the fucking morning. 

Liam just paced in front of his boss’s office, half wanting to yell at Harry again, and half wanting to make sure no one else walked in on them. 

But who was that with Harry? Liam recognized the guy from somewhere, but couldn’t place it … he couldn’t believe he just caught Harry giving someone head in his office.

Well, Liam really had zero room to talk there, but at least Liam locked the fucking door. 

Oh god, it was like the image of Harry with a mouth full of cock was going to be forever burned into his retinas. What a shitty way to start the day. 

Liam gingerly approached the door and lightly knocked. “I’m not coming in but first, Harry, there’s something called locking the door, second, who the fuck is that with you, and third, if someone calls you about work, you need to let me know cause I’m the one who actually runs everything, remember? Ok, thanks.”

“Sure thing, Payno!” Harry said through the door, his voice raw, and Liam just gagged. 

“Just, just find me when you done, fucking hell,” Liam grumbled, and then he walked back to his own office, stifling a laugh. As disgusted as he was, the situation was actually quite hilarious.

 

The day went by and Liam did all his normal work, including what he hadn’t got to yesterday because of certain distractions, and Zayn did not acknowledge him.

This only fueled Liam’s anger more. He wasn’t sad that Zayn had essentially rejected him, he was just mad that this son of a bitch got under his skin. How had Liam not seen what a douchebag he was? Well that didn’t matter, because he saw it now. It was crystal fucking clear that Zayn Malik was a asshole. 

He just wished it made Zayn less beautiful and made his heart ache just a bit less.

Liam had been running around all morning, helping Niall get the right shots, introducing himself to the new models working with them today, briefing the set designers and make up artists on what Harry wanted for the shoot, and handing out the sheets they were to work with; all routine work for him. 

Which would’ve been fine except that Zayn was being unbearably petty. Joking around, flirting with everyone except Liam, dropping his conversations anytime Liam so much as walked near him, rolling his eyes while he was speaking, and finally, Liam couldn’t deal with it anymore. 

“Zayn, are you quite finished?” Liam said in a loud clipped voice as Zayn was talking animatedly to one of the guys in charge of the lights. “We have a lot of work to do, you can chat later.”

“I’m sorry, am I bothering you, Payne?” Zayn said and it was just beyond rude. Liam felt his cheeks pink up and could feel everyone in the room staring at him, the studio having gone dead quiet due to their altercation. 

“No, just stopping working efficiency, Malik.” Liam said, meeting his eyes straight on, “Now please get back into place.” Liam turned to Niall, who was gaping at the two of them. “Niall, where do you need him now?”

“Front and center please, Zayn,” Niall said, giving Liam a pointed look before he continued, “in this shot I want you facing me, and I need everyone else at his feet. Zayn, take your right hand and put it into Mathilde’s hair and your left hand just touching Omar’s cheek.” Niall looked into the camera as Zayn seamlessly did what he was told, everyone going into place perfectly, and he sighed contentedly. “Yes that’s perfect. Got it.”

Liam just watched Zayn, internally fuming, because Zayn was smirking as if he’d won, but he most certainly had not. 

Being a good model didn’t make him any less of an prick and Liam just stayed quietly near Niall for the rest of shoot until it was finally over. 

“Wanna tell me what that was about?” Niall whispered to him as the models left the set and went back to their respective dressing rooms.

“Nothing, just models being entitled. Nothing new there,” Liam said casually, helping Niall put his camera away. 

“Yeah, that’s true, but just the other day you two were eating out of each other’s hands, and yet just now you were at each other’s throats.”

“I guess I realized that it was just an illusion … Hot model goggles, right? Just had to take them off to see the real shithead underneath,” Liam said, walking Niall to the elevators.

“Zayn’s not that bad, mate. I mean he was an asshole today, but … “ But Liam just stopped Niall before he could continue.

“No, come on, man, don’t defend that,” Liam said, pressing the button for Niall cause his hands were full, and Niall nodded at him in agreement. “You need a hand to your car?” Liam asked.

“Nah, Andy said he’d bring the rest down,” Niall said as he nodded over his shoulder to Andy, who was packing up more equipment. Andy jerked his head up at the sound of his name. Liam waved at him, smiling, and then turned his attention back to Niall. 

“Alright then, I’ll see you later. We going to Corden’s tonight?” Liam said, “I could use a few drinks and we haven’t been out in a bit, what do you say?”

“Fuck yes, I’ll never turn down a night drinking, mate, just text me later when you and Harry are going.” He walked into the elevator, then looking sheepish all the sudden, he added, “Hey … invite Jade, will you? You guys are are friends, right?” 

Liam just laughed. “Yeah, we’re friends. Sure, I’ll invite her,” and the elevator doors closed, slowly blocking Niall from view, but not before Liam had seen the Irish boy’s face light up at his words. 

With Niall gone, Liam had nothing to distract himself, so he went to back to his office to do some work. He was just about ready to get started when his boss appeared at his office door.

“Harry, finally,” Liam said as Harry walked into his office. Liam picked up the papers he was working on, filing new information on the models working on the next shoot, and he looked up at his boss. “That’s quite a shit eating grin you have you your face, Styles,” he said, giving back a smile just as wide, because Harry did that to people; he made them happy just by being happy himself. 

“Well, you saw how my day started,” Harry said, the smirk on his face almost more than Liam could handle.

“Oh god, I never ever want to see that again,” Liam said putting his head on the table and laughing against his better judgement, “seriously … and who was that guy? Not like you to fuck around like that at work … he must be special.”

“Oh, that was Louis,” Harry said, and the way he said his name it was like he still has his dick in his mouth. “He’s Zayn’s friend, and we met yesterday and … well, we hit it off quite well, as you saw.” 

“Wow, Zayn’s friend, ok,” Liam said, and fuck, he sounded really off. He had to be normal around Harry when it came to Zayn, “I mean, wow … it seems like you like him a lot, you usually don’t move that fast.”

“I really like him, I mean … I’ve never felt like this with anyone … all we did was hang out last night, and then this morning, there he was in my office and I couldn’t help it. He’s _ amazing _ , Liam you’d really like him.” Harry was rambling now, his eyes all bright while he played with his hair like a fucking school girl. “He’s funny and silly, and hot as hell, and has these blue eyes that make me wanna fucking die, and - “

“Ok, ok!” Liam said with a laugh, getting to his feet and raising his hands to stop Harry from gushing more, “I get it. Shit, you really are whipped, but I’m happy for you. I’ve gotta meet him.”

“Actually, I was wondering if he could come to Corden’s with us tonight? Niall mentioned something about us going.” Harry asked tentatively, and he was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his eyes lighting up.

“God dammit, Niall wants me to invite Jade too! I’m gonna be the fifth wheel,” Liam groaned, rolling his eyes as he took his phone out, typing out a quick text to Jade. “What time should I tell her?” He asked, resigned to be left out of this now date night.

“Ten! And this is going to be great, don’t worry Payno, we won’t leave you out. It’s me and Nialler, yeah? You’re always our number one.” Harry said, coming up to the desk, putting his hand on Liam’s chin and stroking it just for a second in an attempt to win him over. It fucking worked, and Liam was smiling back at him, pressing send on the text telling Jade the time and place. 

“Hey speaking of Jade,” Liam said, trying to sound nonchalant, “why didn’t you tell me she was coming back today?” 

“Oh, well she called me late and I figured you would find out this morning anyways,” Harry said, obviously having no idea what kind of trauma he had caused.

“Well, it does affect me. Yesterday, you made me in charge of Zayn’s fittings and it just changed my schedule to have her back today.” Liam was trying to be calm, but he could feel his anger brewing. “Nothing big, H, just let me know when stuff like that happens next time?”

“Is everything okay, Liam?” Harry said, fully turning around in the doorway to face him, concern etched on his face.

“Yes, it will be.” Liam said, letting out a big sigh. “You know me, I just like things to go according to plan … I’m weird like that.” Liam gave him a small smile as he looked up at Harry, his best friend, and actually in that moment in kind of believed himself. 

“I’ll see you at Corden’s mate, I’m heading out early.” Harry said, smiling back at him.

“Early? You barely did anything today!” Liam yelled to his back as Harry left, and he could hear Harry laughing saying,  _ That’s why I hired you!  _

***

It was the five of them, all crammed into a booth. Niall, Jade, Harry, Louis, and Liam … Just Liam.

They were at Corden’s again, a two weeks having gone by since they had all first hung out, or the time Niall and Jade were embarrassingly flirty and Harry had first introduced them all to Louis. It was kind of amazing how well they all gelled together, and it was becoming a regular thing, the five of them hanging out. 

It had also been two weeks since Liam had fucked Zayn.

The fact that Zayn wasn’t here tonight,  _ again _ , irked him so much. Wasn’t Zayn Louis’ best friend? Wouldn’t he have wanted to come out here, hang out … see Liam?

Liam refused to believe that Zayn had no feelings toward him, there was no way anyone could experience the kind of unbelievable, earth-shattering …  _ fuck they haven’t even had sex yet _ … without having some sort of feelings, right? He saw it … he saw the way Zayn looked at him.

It had to mean something. 

“Liam, you ok?” Louis said to him, his sharp Doncaster accent breaking Liam’s train of thought.

Liam nodded his head, smiling, and looked around at his friends in the booth. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine of course. Just busy day picking up the slack after this one keeps leaving early,” Liam said, jabbing Harry in the ribs, who was sitting next to him in the booth.

“Ow, that hurt,” Harry said, feigning injury as he clutched his side.

“Yeah, don’t hurt him too bad, I’m sure Louis has big plans for him tonight,” Niall said, winking, and the whole table erupted with laughter.

“Oh, gross,” Jade said, “I don’t need to know the dirty details of what our boss gets up to,” she said with a wry smile. “You do seem to have picked quite a fit lad, Harry.” 

“You flatter me, Jade,” Louis said, taking off his grey beanie to fix his fringe. Once the cap was off his head, Harry immediately scooped it up and put it on his head, tucking his curls underneath. Louis beamed at Harry with the most lovesick look on his face that, surprisingly, made Liam burn with jealousy. 

Fuck, Liam was sad. So sad. 

He needed to get up, leave, just go to the bathroom for a second to collect himself. 

Everyone at the table was laughing together, having such a good time, blissfully ignorant to Liam’s pain. Stupid pain, disgusting, juvenile hurt that made his heart ache and he just looked around at his friends, who were all so happy in this moment. Jade was sitting just close enough to Niall for him to have his arm around the back of the booth and it not be awkward, both giggling together, and Liam was happy he asked her to come that first time. They were a good pair, because she was strong and feisty and a good match for Niall’s big personality.

Louis and Harry were sitting together of course, next to Liam, Harry’s hand on Louis’ thigh, and it was just enough to make Louis happy, but not too much too soon. They seemed to orbit around each other; even when Harry was talking to Niall, his body was turned to Louis, almost unconsciously. Liam marvelled at their connection. 

It was too much.

“Bathroom,” Liam said, sitting up, and they nodded to him, going back their conversation about how weird Harry was for eating kale.

Liam pushed past the other patrons in the bar, not looking at any of them, not bearing to see smiles or joy on their faces when he was so pathetically miserable. 

“Pathetic,” Liam whispered to himself as his pushed the door to men’s room open. “Absolutely pathetic, Payne. You have to get a grip. It was one day. Get over it.” He was gripping the bathroom sink, looking at himself in the mirror, grateful he was alone. 

The last two weeks had gone by without incident. Liam went back to his normal work, and Zayn was rude at first, but Liam just usually avoided him. Liam was too well respected for Zayn’s antics to work as well as had he had hoped so the model just gave him the cold shoulder instead. 

It broke Liam to see how much Zayn was unaffected by being apart from him … It made him sad and angry and he had wished desperately for Zayn to corner him in a room and just fuck him against the door. Anything, anything to take the pain away, even for just a little while. 

Liam splashed water on his face, gearing himself up to go back and be sociable with the people in his life who actually mattered, when the door to bathroom opened abruptly. 

“Oh, Liam -” 

_ No, not now.  _

“Save it,” Liam snapped, because Zayn was standing there, feet from him, and fuck did he look beautiful, but  _ no _ . 

Liam hadn’t been alone with Zayn since that day in his office, and the only interactions they had had were petty spats here and there in the studio. It was all so incredibly stupid because nothing had happened. Everything had been fine. One moment they were cuddling on the floor of his office, and the next Zayn had acted as if he was far above Liam … that it had all been a mistake, or just simply over with. 

Zayn had preyed on Liam, simply enough, and he had won. 

Liam was just mad, mad that he fell for it, and he just didn’t want to have to deal with Zayn being a dick to him again. “I’m leaving.”

“The bathroom, or the bar?” Zayn said as Liam knocked  into his shoulder as he passed him, electricity shooting up his arm with their contact. 

“What it’s to you?” Liam said, gritting his teeth and folding his arms as he turned to face him.  They were so close, and Liam’s mind raced with the last time they were like this. How he had kissed Zayn with come still sticky on his lips, how hot his ass had been from Liam’s hands, and how much Zayn desperately needed him … Liam’s vision was blurring as his dick started to thicken up.

Zayn, however, appeared unphased.  

“Well, Louis invited me to come out, and I assume that you’re with the rest of the group, so I wanted to know if you were leaving or planning on being a dick to me the rest of the night.”

“Me?! Be a dick to you?!” Liam was furious, color rushing to his face as he rushed towards Zayn now, crowding into his space, bracketing him against the bathroom sink. Zayn’s back hit the porcelain with a thud and Liam enjoyed Zayn’s wince. “You fucking twat, Zayn,” Liam spat. “I give you my number two fucking weeks ago and then you pretend I don’t exist? Pulling unprofessional shit during a shoot? Laughing at me to my coworkers and employees! Do you think we’re in fucking grade school, Malik?”

“You mad, Liam?” Zayn raised his eyebrow and actually had the nerve to  grin up at him, his eyes wide and bright and Liam just glared back, begging the tears in his eyes to not spill over.

He hate this, hated the power Zayn had over him, hated how used he felt.

“You know what? I fucking knew, I knew were you done with me the moment you asked for my number instead of giving me yours.” Pissed off now, but gaining control of the situation, Liam leaned in closer to Zayn, their noses nudging. “You know what I think? I think you actually felt something for me and got scared, but whatever, your fucking loss.”

Liam was pressed in front of Zayn, their chests almost flush, their faces only inches apart and even though rage was burning through him all he wanted to do was crash his lips against Zayn’s. 

“Do it,” Zayn whispered, and Liam could feel the boy’s hot breath on his lips, making his body shake, his hands trembling against the sink.

Liam narrowed his eyes, dropped them to Zayn’s lips and moved just a fraction closer. He suddenly felt Zayn’s body go soft against him. Then Zayn moved  _ just  _ closer to him, giving in to the moment. 

The air was static. Neither of them moving for half a heart beat. 

“Gotcha,” Liam said, and he pulled away, a smile breaking on his face as he looked at Zayn, who was stunned.

“Excuse me?” Zayn’s face furrowed into a frown, his arms crossing tightly in front of him and Liam was pleased to see that he was flustered. 

“You want it just as bad as me, you’re just an asshole.” Liam said, walking towards the door of the bathroom. “You’re no better than me, mate. Stop kidding yourself.” And he left.  

He walked to the table to give the others a quick goodbye, ignoring their confused looks, but he had to leave. He went over to the bar to thank James, the owner, for their first free round, and then he bolted.

 

***

 

It was midnight and Liam was lying in bed, restless, his dick hard as hell, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn. A part of him wished that he had fucked him right there in the bathroom, but he knew that he done the right thing. Leaving was good, leaving showed he was in control. 

Though that was a total lie. 

He still felt so empty, and even seeing the momentary crack in Zayn’s resolve didn’t seem to make him feel any better. Cause at the end of the day he was still alone. Still without Zayn.

He wiped away the traitorous tears that started to spill softly down his cheeks. 

Liam reminded himself of what he had been saying all week, which was that he didn’t actually like Zayn. He liked the idea of him. The small moments they had had, nothing more. 

Zayn himself was an actual asshole and Liam needed to get over it. 

Right then his phone buzzed, and Liam rolled over in the dark and reached for it blindly. 

It was an unknown number. 

Liam blinked once, then twice, because the screen was so bright, he could barely focus on it. Finally he opened it:

 

_ It’s Zayn. Come over. please  _

 

Liam just stared at it, stunned, almost dropping his phone. Then before he could think of a response, another text came in. 

It was an address.

  
***


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam, responding to Zayn's text, comes over to Zayn's apartment in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, a MILLION thanks to my beta Julia who read and read for me during this chapter as I was writing.   
> To my dearest Liz, I miss you already and thank you for being the best editor ever.   
> Love you guys 
> 
> Thank you to everyone continuing to read this, I appreciate your patience so much.   
> Please, if you like this comment and leave a kudos, means so much, literally brightens up my whole day.   
> Xoxo

Zayn looked down at his phone. He was blinking hard, trying to read his own words in the dim light of his bedroom, wondering,  _ hoping _ , that he hadn’t actually done it.

But the message was still there, lighting up his phone, the one he had just sent to Liam fucking Payne.

**_It’s Zayn. Come over. please_ **

God, he had caved.  _ Caved!  _ He had gone and texted and Liam and  _ what the fuck _ !? He had been so good, so fucking good and responsible, distancing himself on purpose for weeks, and now it was for nothing. 

He fucked up. He thought he was better than this, but he had fucked it all up.

But Zayn  _ missed _ him and he knew it ... and he knew his dick knew it. That was the problem, though, wasn’t it?  _ He missed Liam.  _ Zayn missed stupid, bossy, annoyingly beautiful, fucking fit Liam Payne, and he didn’t have time for any of it. 

After the incident in Liam’s office where Zayn completely lost his cool and practically pounced on Liam, Zayn knew it was done. That it had to be over. The whole thing was too messy and Zayn was too vulnerable around him. 

He wouldn’t do that again. He couldn’t give someone power like that. 

Except he  _ had.  _

He had actually submitted to Liam in an instant and it had been so long since he had done that. But it was so different with Liam. It felt good this time … 

Liam was kind and caring and considerate. 

Not rude and controlling and belittling. Like others had been ..

Zayn scratched his chin thoughtfully, trying not to stare at his phone because maybe he was being played … Maybe Liam did this to everyone he fucked with … lulling them into a false sense a safety. Making them feel like they were going to be taken care of and then abusing that power. 

But Liam … Zayn couldn’t believe that Liam would do that. He had no proof of this, of course, and maybe it was a stupid feeling; he barely knew Liam, after all, but … he couldn’t explain it. There was a goodness about him that Zayn couldn’t put his finger on. 

Zayn was probably being stupid. Too trusting, lowering his guard and for what? More pain? Obviously Zayn still hadn’t learned.

So here he was, lying in bed in the middle of the night, waiting almost eagerly for Liam’s text and also loathing himself for texting him in the first place. 

Half of him thought inviting Liam over tonight was a bad idea and the other half of him missed Liam with everything he had. His body needed him. 

Well that first half had been governing his life for the last two weeks. In Zayn’s mind, he had been telling himself that if Liam hated him, it was a  _ good  _ thing. Then Liam would leave him alone and Zayn wouldn't have to care.

But Zayn did care, he cared a whole lot. Long nights of being alone in his bed and sad days in his empty dressing room wishing for Liam to appear made that quite clear. Zayn hated himself for it. For being weak and letting Liam under his skin in the first place. 

Zayn guarded himself for a reason. He was detached because it was safer that way. And frankly, he had too many people approaching him for him to care about everyone.

This wasn’t about vanity, but rather practicality.

And besides, most people just saw him as beautiful, as a goal or some prize to be won. But then they got bored with his face and …

Zayn did what he did because he had to. He had to take care of himself. 

Yet now, Liam Payne had his address. The same Liam Payne who  hadn’t answered his text yet, and it had been 4 and a half minutes. Not that Zayn was counting. 

Zayn rolled over in his bed, the bed sheet twisting up with his comforter, and he bunched them up, hugging them in an attempt to get comfortable and not think. He held onto the blankets, pushing the material down against his erection, because he had been hard since he left that damned bathroom. 

Since Liam left the bathroom.

He had thought about jacking off, but …

_ He hasn’t given you permission, Zayn. _

Fuck, Zayn didn’t want another repeat of that kind relationship. He didn’t want to be a slave or a trophy, so why was he so quick to submit now? 

Zayn’s sexual desires had been ruined from that  _ relationship _ , because now he craved a darker side to things, but he didn’t want the whole life … and it made for a bland sex life that made him wish he was being tied down and forced to down cock until he had no breath and tears streaming down his face.

He was fucked up. 

But Liam … he seemed so normal, yet so  _ able.  _

Maybe they were both perfectly messed up for each other. 

Zayn’s phone dinged and he practically rolled off the bed in surprise as he picked up his phone, swiping to open the message. Zayn’s face lit up at Liam’s response.

**_Liam: You sure?_ **

Zayn, still smiling, paused for only a moment before responding.

**_Zayn: Yes … need you_ **

Biting his lip, Zayn sent another. Because he was stupid. 

**_Zayn: please_ **

God he was such a sub. It was kind of embarrassing but right now he was thinking more about how good Liam’s large hands would feel on his aching cock and yeah … that was why he had given in and texted him in the first place. Zayn shot a look at betrayal down at his dick because it really was to blame in this moment. 

Earlier that evening, when Liam had left the bathroom, Zayn had been awkwardly hard and unable to go back to the table with the rest of the group for a whole 5 minutes. Once he finally calmed down enough to exit the stall he had retreated to, Zayn hadn’t been able concentrate at all when he returned to  the table of laughing people. Everyone was just so blissfully unaware of what he was going through, but because Zayn was quiet a lot of the time anyway, no one seemed to notice that anything was different. 

He had been hard that whole time too, sitting in the booth with his legs crossed, hoping his jeans were containing himself appropriately. He  _ had _ thought about getting off in the bathroom, but … it just hadn’t felt right without Liam, and that in it of itself just made him feel incredibly stupid on top of everything else. 

Liam had been so right, though. Zayn had been such a fucking asshole to Liam these last few weeks and he didn’t deserve it. He genuinely felt terrible. He really did … maybe a part of Zayn wanted to make up for it right now … make up for being so rude, which, at the time, made so much sense to him, but right now in his bed,  _ alone,  _ it made no sense at all. 

He was fighting this so hard, but why?

His phone lit up again; another message from Liam.

**_Liam: you have been quite bad …_ **

Zayn’s breath caught in his throat. Fuck. He was about to respond when Liam sent another.

**_Liam: I think you need to be reminded of who’s actually in charge_ **

Zayn’s cock jumped in his boxers as he read the words, his mouth watering already with the idea of Liam making him beg for it. 

This is what Zayn needed.

**_Zayn: I most definitely do … please … whatever you want to do to me, just get over here_ **

Zayn decided that if he was gonna fail at fighting this and give in then he would just do it 100%.

_ Ding. _

**_Liam:  I’m gonna fuck you so hard_ **

**_Liam: Finally ;)_ **

Zayn, now almost dead against his mattress, marvelled at how Liam was so demure and  _ normal  _ throughout the studio and yet had this side to him. And he was so  _ young.  _

Zayn threw caution to the wind and pulled the covers off him, revealing his heavily tented boxers. Zayn gripped his length through the material and snapped a photo, sending it to Liam quick before he could stop himself, with the message:

**_Zayn: I’m waiting_ **

Seconds later he got a response.

**_Liam: Fuck Zayn, driving now._ **

**_Liam: Don’t touch yourself_ **

**_Liam: Yet_ **

 

_ *** _

 

Twenty minutes later, after Zayn sent Liam a strangled  _ I’ll try _ , he heard a knock at his door. Zayn’s heart began to race and he felt a lump grow in his throat. He wanted this  _ so badly _ . 

Too badly. 

But he chose this. He chose not to fight, right?

Zayn got up from his bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants from the floor, deciding to stay shirtless because he knew how much Liam liked his tattoos. Shit, his room was really messy, what if Liam was, like, a neat freak? Seemed the type. Whatever, they were gonna fuck, not move in together. 

God, they were finally gonna fuck. Zayn was finally going to feel Liam’s cock inside him and  … yeah, he definitely wanted this. 

Zayn left his room, walking into the small but cozy living room, and was beyond grateful that Louis was over at Harry’s tonight. Zayn had banned them from fucking at their place while he was there because they were both too loud and Harry was his boss and he didn’t need to walk in on Harry taking a wee ever again. 

Zayn felt like he was walking in slow motion towards the door, but also that everything was moving too fast around him. Liam was on the other side of the door and it was as if the cells in his body were lighting up, reacting to his very presence. 

Zayn was suddenly nervous. Was Liam mad at him? Zayn needed to apologize, he had to let Liam know that he had been an asshole … Liam deserved that, at least. 

Zayn heard Liam knock again and he kinda liked the idea of him standing outside the door waiting for him, standing awkwardly in the hallway, maybe checking his watch, but Zayn decided he’s tortured him long enough. 

Zayn walked to the door, feigning confidence, and opened it. 

Liam was standing there in sweats, a beater, and snapback popped on his head and fucking hell, he looked  _ incredible.  _ Liam smiled up at him brightly and Zayn could see his tongue peeking out between his teeth, licking his plump bottom lip, taking in Zayn’s half naked body. 

Liam was going to set him on fire. 

“Hey.”

Zayn was surprised at how low his own voice was. Liam lifted his gaze from drinking him in and beamed at him, their eyes locking. 

“Hey,” Liam said, walking towards him now as Zayn walked back, hitting the wall in his hallway, and Liam was slowly getting into his space, a smile still on his lips. Liam the closed the door with one hand, never breaking eye contact with Zayn. 

Wait, he had to apologize, right? Liam was just acting like nothing happened but Zayn felt like he was going to break. 

“You ... you find the place, ok?” Zayn said, the  _ I’m sorry  _ stuck in his throat and his voice cracking as he could feel Liam’s heat coming off his body; he was so close.

“Yeah, easy drive. I-” 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn cut him off because he couldn’t handle it any longer. Liam’s eyes looked right into Zayn’s, their bodies not touching yet, but their energies exchanging so that Zayn could feel the sudden hurt radiating off him.

Zayn suddenly felt so immeasurably sad for the pain that he caused the boy in front of him. It was as if he had a direct connection to Liam’s psyche at this moment and he could feel the boy’s heart breaking in front of him. He did the only thing he could think of.

As if on instinct, Zayn sank to his knees and held his hands in front of him, head down.

“I’m sorry,” Zayn whispered. He could feel tears welling up inside him, demanding to be released. 

_ Don’t be weak, Malik. _

“Zayn, no,” Liam’s voice was strangled but firm. Zayn could hear the sadness and confusion but he didn’t care, he had to make Liam understand. It was important. 

“I’m sorry.” Zayn repeated, looking down. Zayn was breathing fast but he couldn’t move.

“Zayn, please get up, you don’t have to … ” Zayn felt Liam’s fingers hook under his chin and Liam raised his face to look up at him. Zayn did so, barely, but once he looked up at Liam he melted. “Come here,” Liam said. 

“I - “ Zayn couldn’t respond and he broke away from Liam’s touch. No, Liam couldn’t just be nice. He had to forgive him, acknowledge how wrong he had been. Zayn understood that now. 

But Liam wasn’t having any of it and just lifted Zayn up to his feet, fuck he was so _ strong,  _ and then just wrapped his arms around Zayn’s shaking body. 

He could feel Liam all round him, his energy permeating his soul whispering  _ you’re ok , I’m here, I forgive you, please ... _

Zayn was starting to burn.

They were already against the wall, not that Zayn was complaining, and Liam was just holding him there. Holding him together, it seemed. 

Zayn was starting to break.

“It’s ok … I’m ok.” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear again and it made him shiver; it was if his whole body was being covered in gasoline and Liam was about to set him on fire. But he felt calmer with every word Liam was whispering to him. The fire in Zayn’s belly was warming him up along with Liam’s soft skin, and he was starting to come back. 

“Ok,” Zayn muttered, pressing their foreheads together, “that was, I’m sorry … natural reaction, but …” Zayn tried to think of what to say, finally he just looked at him. “Thank you for being here, right now … thank you.” He shut his eyes tight as he felt Liam’s hands come up to cup his face, his thumbs stroking his cheeks soothingly. Liam was too good for him, he knew it already.

“I’m here,” Liam breathed against Zayn’s lips and then suddenly Liam was kissing him. Soft lips and wet tongues crashing together with muffled moans that Zayn couldn’t hold back cause this was all he thought about for weeks. Forever it seemed really, because Liam seemed like this once in a lifetime type of moment for Zayn and as he kept kissing the boy in his hallway, he felt the heat in his belly rise and ignite the rest of his body.  

_ Fire. _

Zayn was being consumed. He was falling apart into Liam, their mouths moving against each other as if no time had passed, as if they did this everyday, but as if it was still never enough. Liam was pressing himself closer to Zayn, pushing his thigh between Zayn’s legs, forcing his legs apart and he could feel Liam’s hard cock against the thin material of Zayn’s pants. Their chests were flush and Zayn had missed this. Missed their bodies together. 

“Liam,” Zayn broke away and then Liam nuzzled his face into Zayn’s neck, leaving small, slow kisses from his jawline to his collarbone. Zayn was already out of breath and nothing had even happened yet, but Liam was completely intoxicating. “Liam, what do you want?” Zayn whispered into Liam’s ear, biting lightly, and feeling Liam shiver against him, “shit Liam,  _ where  _ do you want me?”

Liam was still kissing and sucking marks down his neck, making cognitive thought quite difficult, but Zayn wanted to make it up to him, be good for him again. These last few weeks had been a shit show and Zayn wanted to start over and just be … himself, maybe? 

Liam nuzzled his neck again, licking a long stripe up to his jawline and finally connected their lips again, electricity shooting down Zayn’s spine. Zayn melted into his mouth, hot and wanting, and he wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck, needing to be closer, and he accidentally knocked his hat off. Zayn was about to apologize when Liam giggled and just bumped noses with Zayn wordlessly telling him  _ it’s fine  _ bringing his mouth back down on Zayn’s. 

“I want … “ Liam was kissing him lightly, lips over lips, so soft and wet, whispering  “I want you, just you, babe.” 

“I wanna be … “ Zayn began to say but Liam was sucking on his bottom lip hungrily, only adding fuel to his fire.

“Good … I know, babe. The thing is,” and Liam was cupping his face now, kissing his cheekbones softly and Zayn just closed his eyes experiencing everything that was Liam. His heartbeat was slowing now, the rapid beat of  _ you’re not good enough _ was vanishing, being replaced by Liam’s words of  _ you are … you are good, just like this. _

Zayn didn’t know what to say, so he just let Liam kiss him, let him touch him, and he could feel himself falling into  _ something _ .

“Zayn,” Liam whispered against his lips, and Zayn could feel a small sign of hesitancy as he continued, “do you want me to be here?” They were still in the hallway, Zayn pushed against the wall and Liam slotted right in between his legs. Both men were achingly hard as Zayn looked at Liam, his eyes were wide and open searching Zayn’s, and he could feel the vulnerability in his own face reflected in Liam’s as he gazed up at him. 

“Yes, I … Please don’t go,” Zayn kind of hated how soft he sounded, how broken his words were as they fell out of his mouth, and he fisted his hands into Liam’s shirt desperately. 

Maybe he was already broken.

“I’m here if you want me here,” Liam said, exhaling deeply and looking right into Zayn’s eyes, and in that moment, Zayn knew he was telling the truth. Fuck. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This was supposed to be fun and casual and frankly a game. But that idea seemed like a lifetime ago. 

In the beginning, Zayn had wanted Liam just once, twice maybe, but only to get him out of his system. To see if he could do it, how far he could push Liam. Shit thing to do, he knew that, but that had been original goal  _  … but now …  _ Zayn was in uncharted territory. 

But he knew one thing; he wanted Liam so much he felt his body starting to explode at the mere idea of Liam walking out that door. 

This was exactly why Zayn stayed closed off. Some people called him an asshole, but he called it being safe. Feeling this much wasn’t good for anyone, and it felt so incredibly dangerous to Zayn at this moment, his blood running hot in his veins. But it seemed there was no going back now, and a part of Zayn didn’t want to go back anyways. Not with Liam here, so beautiful and understanding. 

_ Give him a chance. _

“Let me take care of you,” Liam was stroking his hair now, and Zayn curled into his touch immediately, “can I … can I do that for you, Zayn?” Zayn could hear the want in Liam’s voice, the desire to help and how much he cared, and Zayn wanted to run, because maybe it was too much. 

_ Don’t you fucking dare, Malik. _

Zayn didn’t want to care about the man in front of him. He didn’t want to feel anything really, but instead he was met with an explosion of emotion.

“Please, yes, that’s all I want,” Zayn released the words and it was as if they fell out of his mouth and latched themselves into the universe, becoming reality. 

_ Don’t look back. _

Zayn breathed heavy and took one of Liam’s large hands and placed it on his thick cock, fully hard in his sweats, “I need you so bad,  _ please _ .” An obscene groan escaped Zayn’s lips because Liam, with his perfect hands, had grabbed his cock and was still holding him there against the wall. 

A flip had switched, Zayn felt it in Liam’s body, in his energy; he was the man in the office again. In control again, obviously content that Zayn truly was ok, and so Zayn tilted his head up to look at Liam, a smirk on his face, because he was so ready for this, for whatever Liam had planned for him. 

“Where’s your bedroom, babe?” Liam growled, low and desperate into Zayn’s ear, his hips bucking up and grinding hard against him, and  _ fucking hell.  _ Zayn was melting into Liam, circling his hips back against him hard and slow, making them both gasp. 

“Bedroom,” Zayn said, all breathy and labored cause Liam was still grinding into him, practically fucking him into the wall, “It’s, down …  _ god, Liam, just like that  _ … down the hall.” 

Liam backed away from him and Zayn let out an embarrassing whimper, missing the contact already, but once he looked at Liam’s face, his eyes alight with fire and promise, Zayn smiled and bit his lip.

“Lead the way,” Liam said, smiling as well and setting his hand on the small of Zayn’s exposed back, lightly pushing him further in the apartment. Zayn walked them both through the living room, past Zayn’s and Louis’ small bathroom, and into his bedroom.  

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, the mess ...” Zayn said, embarrassed, inwardly hoping he didn’t just kill the mood, cause he’s shit at being an adult sometimes, but Liam didn’t see to mind. He just shut the door behind them as they kicked off their shoes, and then he turned Zayn around to face him, stroking his cheek lightly, his smile reaching his eyes as they crinkled brightly. 

“Shh, doesn’t matter right now,” Liam said and he kissed Zayn, licking into his mouth and biting his bottom lip. “Get on the bed, please.” 

Liam was a master of control, diffusing any tension in the situation with ease, it seemed. He was soft but commanding, tough but gentle, and Zayn was completely mesmerized. 

Zayn felt like he was glowing with flames from the inside out and he just smiled up at Liam, his long lashes fluttering, and he slowly made his way to his bed in the center of the room. Zayn felt more like himself now, felt his ego come back to him as Liam looked him up and down; as if Zayn was all he could ever want in the whole world. “How do you want me, Payne?”  Zayn sat down on the edge of the mattress, looking up at Liam expectantly, his eyebrow rising with the question. 

Liam was drinking him in still, the light from the bedside lamp making his warm brown eyes glow, and he started to take off his shirt. “On your back, head against the headboard.” Liam ordered him and now he could see Liam’s cut abs and the thick hair trailing down into his sweatpants; Zayn was alive. He did as he was told and watched as Liam watched him obey his commands. 

These last few weeks without Liam had been painful and he hadn’t wanted to admit it … frankly, he had hoped it would go away, but now … now he didn’t want it to. Now it was all he wanted, because he finally felt something for first time in what seemed like forever. 

“You’re so beautiful, Liam … “ Zayn choked out, resting his head against the headboard, and he could feel a hot blush warm his cheeks, but Liam just laughed, pure and happy as he threw his shirt on the floor. Maybe the mess didn’t bother him. 

“I’m not the model here,” Liam said, still chuckling, as he climbed onto the bed, up to Zayn, and now he was hovering over him. Zayn reveled in how much bigger Liam felt to him, his whole body bracketing Zayn in, and he could feel Liam’s heat radiating off his bare chest. 

“True,” Zayn grinned up at him and the then gasped because Liam had closed the gap between their bodies and was now grinding his hips down into Zayn’s. “ _ Shit,  _ but you could be. I’d like that … Like to take pictures of you, Liam.”

“Oh, yeah?” Liam ghosted his lips over Zayn’s as he spoke and continued to slowly push down into Zayn, not caring that they both still had their pants on, their bare chests pressed against each other. Zayn brought his hands up to cup Liam’s face and their mouths reconnected like magnets. They merged in and out of each other’s space, kissing and breathing and touching, licking into each other, gasping as they stole each other’s air. Their limbs tangled together as their kiss deepened into something with more teeth and breath and tongue than lips. 

“You feel so good underneath me, Zee,” Liam moaned, his hands moving down and gripping at Zayn’s waist, his nails digging deliciously into his skin. 

“Love being here, feeling you on me,” Zayn was mumbling in between kisses as he felt Liam’s fingers dancing across his belly, teasing him.

Finally, Liam brought his hands down to the waistband of Zayn’s sweats and looped his fingers deftly under the elastic.  Zayn bucked his hips up giving Liam a silent  _ yes please take them off  _ and Liam understood immediately, shucking Zayn’s pants and boxers down and off with one strong pull, all while sucking a bruise into his neck. 

More work for the make up artists in a few days.

Zayn didn’t care.

Zayn’s cock broke free of his boxers and slapped against his belly, already wet with precome. Liam broke away from his neck and smirked up at Zayn, his eyes twinkling as he licked his lips, his eyes darting down to Zayn’s hard length. Liam pressed a hard kiss to the corner of Zayn’s mouth, shifting down Zayn’s body kissing his nipples and chest and biting at his hip bone, right where Zayn’s black heart tattoo was. Zayn was sure that that was Liam’s favourite out of all of his ink, always so much extra attention, and as Liam sucked and bit and nuzzled into Zayn’s skin, he was not complaining. 

“Tease, you are,” Zayn purred as he threaded his fingers through Liam’s thick short hair. 

“Patience is a virtue, Mr. Malik,” Liam said, giving his thighs a gentle squeeze.

“I wanna feel you in me so bad,  _ fuck _ ” Zayn whined, gripping his hands firmly into Liam’s hair, giving him a strong tug, silently saying  _ do it, Payne, please. _

Liam got the message and ducked his head down immediately onto Zayn’s leaking cock and Zayn gasped at the sudden contact.

“Oh my god,  _ Liam _ ,” Zayn was petting Liam’s hair, his eyes rolling back in his head as Liam sucked him down, words escaping from him in little moans of  _ yes, just like that, baby. _

Liam was relentless as he licked and suckled at the head and  _ fuck.  _ Zayn fisted his hands hard into Liam’s hair again, trying his best to not shove Liam all the way down onto his dick as Liam took more and more of Zayn into his mouth. Liam swirled his tongue and hollowed his cheeks, his eyelashes fanning beautifully over his cheekbones; his fucking plump lips and hot mouth were made for this. Zayn was seeing stars and couldn’t understand how Liam was only 21 and yet sucked cock like it was his life’s calling. 

“Fuck … Liam, _ babe _ … I” Zayn was having trouble connecting his words and Liam was definitely amused by this, as Zayn could feel him smiling around his dick.

“Taste so good, babe,” Liam murmured, licking up the thick vein on the underside of his cock, lapping up the pre come dribbling out. “Could do this for hours.”

“Not with that fucking mouth of yours, I’ll never last,  _ shit ...”  _

Zayn was squirming against the crumpled sheets on his bed, and suddenly Liam popped off and started to slowly jerk him off. Liam’s hands were hot and calloused around him, so different than his own slender fingers, and the difference was incredible. Zayn could get off easily like this, with Liam’s thumb grazing over his slit and twisting down at the base, but he had to hold off. Zayn bit his lip hard and looked down at Liam, who was watching him with hooded eyes. 

“Turn over, babe, wanna taste some more, “ Liam’s voice was sweet but laced with just a hint of danger that Zayn knew he was going to absolutely ruin him. 

“Shit, yeah … ok,” Zayn said meekly and he let Liam flip him over  _ easy  _ so he was on his stomach now.  

_ Fuck, Liam you make me crazy.  _

“Knees up, babe,” Liam ordered gently, wrapping an arm around Zayn’s waist and propping him up on all fours. Usually, Zayn hated being exposed like this - his small ass was one of his few insecurities, and it required a lot of trust - but with Liam … well, it didn’t seem to matter, so Zayn let Liam lift him up like a ragdoll.  Liam then pressed a hand on Zayn’s shoulder blades and push him down. Face down, ass up. 

Completely vulnerable now, Zayn felt his flight or flight pulse through his veins, he could feel the fear pumping through him, but he couldn’t give in.

_ You’re not weak, Malik _

_ You can be strong… like Liam  _

Zayn’s face was pressed into his pillow and he could feel Liam’s hands all over his ass cheeks, kneading and teasing him. It was as if Liam could feel his tension, his angst, and he was melting it away with the warmth of his hands. Zayn could feel himself falling further into the bed and farther into Liam. 

Lost in his own thoughts Zayn wasn’t prepared when he suddenly felt hot breath on his rim, then a wet tongue, and his whole body erupted into shivers as Liam began to lick into him. Zayn whined embarrassingly loud into his pillow, his words stringing together into one big moan of _fucking christ Liam, yes, don’t stop, oh my god, fuck …_ but Liam didn’t let up, his fingers pressing into his ass cheeks as he buried his face deeper into him. Liam’s tongue was hard and insistent against his entrance, pushing in and out, his hands scratching down Zayn’s ass, and a groan broke from Zayn’s lungs.  

“ _ Goddammit Liam _ , you’re so good at this,” Zayn’s voice was breathy and high, he couldn’t see straight, so he shut his eyes and grabbed at his bed sheets, trying to ground himself, while Liam continued to assault him with his tongue. He could get used to this position, definitely. 

Liam was good at everything it seemed, sucking cock, eating ass … Jesus Christ. 

Zayn gasped out loud because without any warning Liam removed his tongue and sunk his whole index finger deep into the tight heat of Zayn’s ass. 

“ _ Liam _ , warn me next time, fucking  _ hell _ .” Zayn was close to writhing against the sheets; the feeling was as if he was suspended off a cliff but not falling, as Liam wasn’t moving his finger. The burn was intense but stationary, like a low burn fire on a stove, placed directly in his ass. It felt terrible but amazing at the same time, he just needed Liam to move, curl his fingers, press his fingers in and out … 

“Burns, doesn’t it?” Liam asked, keeping his free hand on Zayn’s hip, holding him in place. “But the burn feels good, yea?”

Zayn couldn’t answer. He felt like he really was on fire, the burn moving up with no release. it wasn’t going anywhere and he needed Liam to move his finger or he was going to explode. 

“Liam, I swear to god you better start opening me up right fucking now,” Zayn pushed his ass back hard against Liam’s finger, forcing the digit further inside him, working hard to strain against Liam’s strong grip. 

“Tsk tsk, impatient are we?” Liam was still not moving his goddam finger and Zayn wanted to cry and yell, anything to get Liam to move, to do anything. 

“I want your cock in me now …  _ please Liam …  _ I’ve - We’ve waited too long.” Zayn was almost ashamed at his whiny, needy voice, but he didn’t care. He needed Liam. Now. 

“I like it when you’re bossy,” Liam said, and Zayn could hear the smirk on his face, but not before he felt a sharp sting as Liam laid a quick smack to his ass, Zayn’s body arched with the pleasure running a marathon through his veins. “Sometimes.”

_ Fucking hell ...  _ it wasn’t mean. It was good, it felt good, and Liam knew it. Fuck, how was he so good at this? 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn whined, knowing the pitch in his voice would go straight to Liam’s cock, “please, anything, I’m here, just … do  _ something _ .” Zayn was rambling, his words getting the better of him, but it seemed as if all his brain function had left with the blood now in his desperately hard prick. 

Liam crooked his finger and  _ finally yes please more,  _ Zayn mewled into his pillow and the sound cracked into the silence of the bedroom. It ignited a rain of fire into his lungs as he continued to moan over and over again as Liam circled that single finger in, out, and around. 

_ Liam Payne, expert at: sucking cock, spanking, eating ass, and fingering. _

Zayn should have him put this on his resume, for fuck’s sake. 

The fire in his belly was turning white hot; Zayn didn’t want to come yet but his skin tingled, hot and buzzing. He grinned against his pillow, revelling in every feeling coursing through his body as Liam added another finger, crooking both down. At this point he didn’t care if he came or not, no doubt Liam would make him hard again without even trying. 

“Oh my god _ …  _ Shit _ … Fuck, right there … Please,  _ Liam, don’t stop.” 

Liam was pushing his thick fingers in and out of Zayn’s tight rim, curling his fingers up and hard and Zayn was seeing stars as Liam pushed against his prostate over and again. 

“You’re so tight, Zayn … Mmmm, feel so good, can’t wait to be inside you, babe,” Liam’s voice was low and husky with want, his pumping fingers fucking up into him, making Zayn shake and moan desperately. 

“Liam, I’m going to come, please just get inside me  _ now _ , … I can’t …” Zayn was panting as Liam pushing a third finger inside him and began flexing each one, scissoring him open, but he didn’t seem to care about Zayn’s words. Zayn had to squeeze his eyes shut so as to not come. Everything felt so good, and Liam kept going, pushing in and out, relentless as Zayn suddenly felt Liam’s tongue slide wetly around his fingers. 

“Don’t come yet, ok?” Liam whispered, kissing in between his shoulder blades tenderly, as he finally dragged his fingers out and wiped them on the bed. “Almost there, babe, you’re doing so good.” Zayn’s whole body was shaking and his cock was aching, hanging down hard and leaking. “Turn over for me, I wanna see you.” Liam tapped his ass, and so Zayn took what little energy he had after feeling wrecked -  _ and he hasn’t even fucked you yet -  _ and flipped on his back. 

Fuck.

Liam was so beautiful, of course, but right now he was fucking  _ obscene.  _ He had pushed his sweats and briefs down so his cock was on full view and  _ no wonder he prepped you for so long, Zayn.  _

Zayn didn’t remember Liam’s dick being that big and daunting when it was in his mouth only a few weeks ago. 

Their eyes met for the first time it what seemed like hours and Zayn took a deep breath, almost at a loss for words 

“I missed you,” Zayn whispered, and it actually cracked him a little to hear the words fall from his own lips. Liam looked at him, his eyes widening and whole face going slack and Zayn just hid his face with his hands, mortified. 

“No, stop it,” Liam immediately pulled Zayn’s hands away with his own, and once he was sure Zayn wasn’t going to move, he held his chin and forced him to look at him. Zayn didn’t want to and he was instantly validated in that want when their eyes locked, because it was too much. Everything was too much. Zayn shouldn’t have called him over, this was a terrible idea. Zayn’s heart expanded painfully as Liam looked down at him, his brown eyes wide and open and  _ no this was too much too fast, he couldn’t … _

“I missed you too, Zayn,” Liam said, his voice low but meaningful, and Zayn turned away. He couldn’t look at him anymore, but he felt the tension in his body release with Liam’s words and he almost hated himself for it. 

“Kiss me, please,” Zayn whispered, continuing to look at wall, but Liam complied without hesitation, his warm lips meeting Zayn’s with so much  _ something _ infused in them that Zayn had to remind himself  _ don’t think don’t think don’t think … _

Zayn sank into Liam’s kiss. It was hot and inviting and more. Liam brought his body down on top of his, slotting himself between Zayn’s thighs,and he relished in the feel of their naked bodies sliding together. The feeling was bubbling inside him with every movement of their lips and tongue and finally Zayn couldn’t wait anymore. 

“Now Liam, … in me, now …  _ please,”  _ Zayn whimpered into Liam’s mouth.

“Ok,” Liam said, kissing him once before pulling back and fishing out a condom and lube from his pocket, his sweats pooling at his knees. 

“Take your pants off while you’re at it, babe,” Zayn said, propping himself up on on arm and pushing Liam’s sweats down further. Liam just laughed and crawled off the bed, pulling them off each leg and tossing them on the floor next to Zayn’s. Fully naked now, Liam grabbed the condom and little bottle, and got back into position kneeling in front of Zayn’s spread legs, smiling down at him. 

“You’re impossibly pretty, Zayn,” Liam said, stroking his hands up and down Zayn’s bare thighs, and Zayn couldn’t even blush because Liam was so matter of fact. Liam moved to unwrap the condom and then he put it on his hard cock. he lubed himself up, tugging his impressive length while smirking at Zayn who was lying on his back looking up at him in awe …  _ You know you look good, Payne,  _ and then Liam lined himself up against Zayn’s rim. 

_ Finally. _

Liam gripped Zayn’s hips, his fingers pressing hard into his skin, as he pushed slow and deep inside of Zayn and  _ holy fucking hell.  _ Liam had prepped him for what felt like an eternity but nothing,  _ nothing, _ could’ve prepared Zayn’s tight ass for Liam’s massive cock. Liam slowed then, almost not moving, and Zayn wondered if he could see the tension in his face. But it wasn’t  _ bad,  _ just a lot to take in … literally. 

“You can keep going, babe” Zayn breathed out, looking at Liam who was biting his bottom lip, his pupils blown, hair mussed, dicking into him, and Zayn could only describe what he was seeing on Liam’s face as  _ pure sex. _

Liam just grunted in acknowledgement, slipping his cock further into Zayn, and he felt like he was being split in half. Liam dug his nails roughly into Zayn’s skin as as he moved in deeper and deeper moaning  _ oh fuck, Zayn, you’re so tight … shit. _

Zayn’s breath caught in his throat and instead of words he just groaned as Liam finally settled into him, inch by inch, until he was full. It felt like forever and no time at all for Liam to be completely inside him, and Zayn was impressed that he actually was taking Liam’s dick so well, because  _ god damn. _ Liam was hovering over him, stroking his hair now, as if trying to sooth him, make sure he was ok, that they were ok. 

This was more than ok - this was  _ everything _ . 

Zayn wasn’t sure if this was worth the wait because it was so fucking amazing or if he should be kicking himself because how had he been missing out on this for so long? Liam wasn’t moving yet, but he was so close now, breathing heavy, his lips parted just above Zayn’s. Zayn moved up an inch and kissed him lightly, whispering _you can move now_ against his lips, and Liam obeyed, lifting his hips, pulling out just to the tip, and snapping back in. 

_ Fireworks. Fucking fireworks. _

“God, yes, just like that, Liam,” Zayn whimpered into the crook of Liam’s neck as he held on with both hands, gripping Liam’s back, as he continued to thrust into him. Liam started slow with hard thrusts of his hips and then moved faster and faster, their lips ghosting over each other, breathing against each other more than kissing, their bodies hot with sweat. 

He’d been waiting for this since he first walked into Liam’s office, Harry introducing them and Liam looking so beautiful and shy and Zayn just knew. Knew that he wanted this. How much he wanted it was what was scaring him, but with the push of Liam’s hips deep inside him Zayn couldn’t be afraid. Liam was impossible to fear.

Liam was really fucking him now, picking up the pace and then slowing down to grind down hard into him, and Zayn was falling. 

“So gorgeous, wanna see you fall apart, babe,” Liam purred into his ear, continuing to fuck him with abandon. Zayn’s hands were in his hair, on his back, clinging to his hips, anywhere to find purchase because he needed to ground himself, to connect, to not let Liam go.

Zayn was so overwhelmed and with every snap of Liam’s hips he felt himself crashing down. Zayn let out a strangled moan as Liam lifted himself up and grabbed Zayn’s thighs, changing the angle, and pushing into with punishing strength, and  _ oh right there don’t stop, don’t ever stop -  _ Liam had found his prostate.  

“I’m going to come … can I, I’m … oh shit Liam, just like that,  _ please, _ ” Zayn brought his hand up to Liam’s wrist, still on his thighs, and gripping down into his skin he felt the fire in his belly move down and down and down ...

“Just like that, baby,” Liam said, removing one hand from Zayn’s thigh, continuing to thrust into him one handed, but now jerking Zayn off at the same time. Everything was going white, he could see Liam in front of him, gorgeous as he pounded into him, but he could feel his orgasm bursting out of him, and on Liam’s words of  _ come for me, please  _ Zayn released all over Liam’s hands and his own thighs and belly.

_ Heat. Burn. Flames. Fireworks. Explosion.  _

Liam was still fucking him, his speed increasing after Zayn’s orgasm, but Zayn was all white hot and fire and ecstasy and he just couldn’t move. 

“Look so good like this, Zee ...   _ shit,  _ gonna come too … “ Liam’s voice was an echo in Zayn’s ears as he was laying against his pillow, eyes half closed, riding out his orgasm as Liam tugged lazily at his softening cock, still pushing into him. Liam stilled and stuttered his hips, almost falling on top of Zayn, his arms catching him as he caged Zayn in, coming deep inside him. Zayn, even in his high, could feel Liam’s cock pulsing inside him deliciously. “Wow …” Liam breathed, pressing their foreheads together, and slowly kissing down his face, to his jaw, then his neck. Liam buried his face there and just went limp, his whole weight on Zayn. 

He was heavy but it was a pleasant weight, and Zayn hooked his legs around Liam’s middle bringing him even closer, not letting him pull out yet. 

“You feel so good,” Liam whispered, giving Zayn small little bites on his neck, bringing his hand up to brush the dark hair from his face. Zayn opened his eyes at that and looked up at Liam, and he couldn’t help but smile at those warm brown eyes, “but you gotta let me go, I’ll come right back.” Liam kissed his nose, and then nudged it with his own, and Zayn let his legs drop, feeling the emptiness immediately as Liam pulled out. Zayn watched him get up and dispose of the condom in his near by trash bin. Liam asked where the bathroom was and was gone only a moment before he reappeared with a damp cloth and he cleaned them both up, giving Zayn light kisses all over his body as he did so.  

Zayn wasn’t sure if he had any words for what just happened but he knew he wanted it to happen again and again and everywhere they possibly could. Especially this part, Liam taking care of him.

Liam finished his work and then laid down on Zayn’s bed right next to him. Liam propped himself up on his elbow and gazed down at Zayn, his fingers dancing along his belly, and Zayn just looked up at him lazily. 

“What?” He asked Liam, cocking his head to the side.

“Nothing … “ Liam hesitated, but Zayn just gave him a pointed look so he continued, “I was just thinking about how I want to do that again, and again, and again.” and Liam was smiling as he bent down and kissed Zayn deeply. “You were so fucking good, babe, so amazing.”

Zayn could feel himself glowing with pride, and he curled himself into Liam, bring their faces together, kissing him again with just something more. 

“Mmmmm,” Zayn hummed against his lips, “yes and yes, Mr. Payne, but now, we sleep.” And Zayn could see a look of confusion flash over Liam’s face momentarily, but he just tugged at the disheveled blanket next to him and threw it over them both. Once covered, he draped his leg over Liam’s and his arm across Liam’s waist, nuzzling his face into his neck. “Just like this, yeah?” Zayn asked, quietly.

“Yeah … it’s … kind of perfect actually,” Liam was stumbling over his words, but Zayn was already starting to drift off to sleep. 

“I can stay ...” Zayn wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement as he heard Liam whisper it in his ear, before kissing him on the forehead and wrapping his arms around Zayn tightly. The warmth was wonderful it took no time for Zayn to fall asleep just like that, wrapped up in Liam Payne. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam wakes up in Zayn's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for taking forever to update but I promise that this fic will be finished, I just have a lot of other projects I am working on.   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I do. 
> 
> as always thanks to my beta Julia and my editor Liz. love you guys <3
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos if you like, always makes my day.

Liam woke up bleary eyed, his body stiff from last night’s activities, blinking hard as the light from the window hit his eyes. He ran his hand through his messy hair and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, wondering what time it was, and he splayed out on the bed, feeling the empty space next to him ... 

Zayn was gone.

_ Shit.  _ Liam rolled over, still naked with the bed sheets crumpled around his legs, and he opened his eyes wide as he stared at the empty spot next to him.  _ It’s Zayn’s apartment, he wouldn’t just leave you here … breathe, Payno.  _ Liam laid back against the mattress, letting out a breathy sigh. He didn’t have to go into the studio today, but he did have some designs to go over for Harry, and he had been planning on going in, but now … 

Liam finally checked his watch; it was only 9:23 A.M. Good, still early. Liam might be able to get a run in, or maybe Zayn might wanna go again, and he could get his workout that way. Liam grabbed his soft cock lazily, thoughts of last night creeping into his mind, and a smile started to pull at his lips.  _ Don’t get cocky, Liam, you don’t even know where he is right now.  _ Ok, first he needed to find Zayn. Liam gave one last stretch in the surprisingly comfy bed, yawned, and then sat up, pressing his feet to the cool wooden floor. Standing up, he looked for his boxers, but the room was quite messy and it actually took Liam a few minutes to sift through all of Zayn’s laundry, which was strewn across the floor, until he located his own black pair. 

Slipping them on, he padded over to the bathroom, which was right across the hall, and just as he walked inside, he saw the back of Zayn’s small frame moving around the kitchen ...  _ Fuck _ … Liam had to stop and take a deep breath because  _ wow,  _ he was so gorgeous. Zayn was wearing only the sweats he had on last night, hair mussed from sleep and sex, tattoos exposed, caramel skin look so soft.  _ Fuck, _ Liam wanted to have him all over again. But first, bathroom. 

Liam shut the door quietly and stared at his own sleepy reflection in the small bathroom which, at least, wasn’t as messy as the bedroom. There were towels on the floor and toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, razors, aftershave, soap, you name it, strewn across the counter with what Liam could only assume was Zayn’s idea of organization, but to him, it was chaos. Liam cricked his neck;  he liked things in order, but this was not his place.  _ Don’t touch anything, you twat.  _ Liam just shook it off and used the mouthwash on the counter, combed his hair with his hands and some water, and slapped his face a few times because  _ fuck.  _ He was in Zayn Malik’s bathroom, after fucking  Zayn Malik the night before, and he got there cause Zayn fucking texted him to come, and he actually  _ came _ … well they both did, later, but … Liam gripped the counter, taking deep breaths, trying to understand the events of last night. 

_ Something changed. But what? _

Zayn seemed to have finally given in to Liam, but that still didn’t sit well in Liam’s stomach … He couldn’t think about it too much, though, he couldn’t. Right now, Zayn wanted him - well he _ hoped _ he still did - and Liam wasn’t going to let him go again. 

Mental pep talk over, Liam left the bathroom and walked quietly towards the kitchen, where Zayn was actually cooking breakfast, by the looks of it. Liam’s heart swelled at the thought of Zayn waking up early and actually thinking about cooking them eggs and pancakes. It was just so sweet. Zayn was looking incredibly hot as Liam approached the little alcove. It was small, with a few counters and necessities, an island comfortably fit in the middle, and Zayn’s small frame moved with practiced ease between the surfaces. Liam wanted to fuck him on every single one. 

Liam’s need to have Zayn under him grew, as did his cock, and Liam growled low in his throat, trying to keep his breathing even as he watched Zayn dart around the small kitchen. He watched as Zayn walked to the fridge, and Liam saw his opportunity. Slipping quietly into the kitchen, he pressed himself up against Zayn, both of them feeling the cold front of the fridge against their exposed skin, and Zayn gasped.

“ _ Shit! Liam,”  _ Zayn whined loudly, but he jumped only slightly, obviously not that skittish, and though Liam could feel his body shaking just enough against him, Zayn wasn’t fighting against his hold. “Scared me babe, fuck,” he laughed lightly, laying his head back against Liam’s shoulder, and Liam took a deep breath, smelling coconut and cigarettes and  _ Zayn.  _ On instinct, Liam took both of Zayns arms and raised them above his head and against the fridge, holding both wrists with one hand. 

“Remember this?” Liam whispered in his ear as he pressed Zayn’s wrists against the cool metal, reveling in how Zayn’s body was responding to his already, his ass pressing insistently back onto Liam’s cock. 

“Mmmmm, yeah …” Zayn moaned, biting his lip and looking back at Liam, his eyes sparkling. “I was so fucking gone for you even then, would’ve let you do anything to me.”

“Fuck,  _ Zayn, _ ” Liam growled and pressed him harder still against the fridge, enjoying how warm Zayn’s skin felt on his own. He roughly pushed down the boy’s sweatpants, revealing his perfect bare ass, and Zayn’s whimper made Liam twitch with need. Liam groaned loudly at the sight, his mouth watering as he tapped Zayn’s lips with two fingers, silently asking him to open his mouth. Zayn obeyed and hungrily lapped at Liam’s thick fingers, his tongue filthily slicking him up and Liam just shoved them in further, causing Zayn to choke a little. His coughs and sputters mixed with the spit dribbling around his pink mouth made Liam’s dick throb in his briefs. 

“Gonna open you up babe,” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear as he pressed his wet fingers against Zayn’s rim, putting one in experimentally, and he was delighted to find that Zayn was worked up already, and easily slipped a second finger in without any warning. “Shit …. so warm, so ready for me, aren’t you?” 

Zayn just nodded, his eyes closed as Liam pushed in and out, scissoring him open, needing to get inside him as soon as possible. “Did you touch yourself this morning? You’re so loose ... Mmmmm …. did you want me to fuck you again that badly?”

“God yes … was hoping for it … just do it … just fuck me now, I’m ready.” Zayn was panting hard, his breath fogging up the reflective surface of the fridge as Liam’s fingers stopped their assault and he pulled them out, wiping his fingers on his own briefs. Liam pushed the fabric down, his hard cock slapping wetly against his taut stomach, precome dripping out with need. Liam spit on his hand; that in combination with the precome already starting to leak out of him, promising a decent slide in, he lined himself up, the head of his cock just barely nudging Zayn’s rim. He thought about going back to room and grabbing a condom and lube, but he didn’t fucking care right now, and it seemed that Zayn didn’t either. 

Liam’s eyes rolled back in his head as the tip pushed through Zayn’s entrance, and he moaned,  “This is gonna hurt a bit, but I want you so bad -”

“Fuck, Liam, just go … just fuck me … I want it to hurt, wanna feel you so bad,” Zayn said. He leaned his head back to find Liam’s mouth, his arms still pinned, but Zayn didn’t try to break free from his hold. Liam leaned in without hesitation and kissed him for the first time this morning, his cock pushing further in and filling Zayn up, and the moaned in unison. 

Their lips touched for only a fraction of a second before Zayn’s tongue greedily licked into Liam’s mouth, hot and wet.  Liam just pushed his cock harder into him, stilling Zayn’s hips and forcing himself to settle inside him. Liam kissed Zayn, focusing on his lips and tongue and just the fact that he  _ could  _ kiss him. That he was fucking Zayn in Zayn’s own kitchen the morning after they had already had sex. Whatever it was, it wasn’t just a one time thing, and Liam was glowing with that newfound information. 

“Move, now, please … baby, please …” Zayn mewled against Liam’s lips, and with that Liam broke away and wrapped his free arm around Zayn’s middle, fucking into him hard and fast.

Zayn’s eyes rolled back as he allowed Liam to take him, no fight left, and he moaned and whimpered with each thrust Liam inflicted. Liam knew it hurt, but Zayn obviously enjoyed the pain. 

“Baby, oh … oh my god …  feels … so ... good, don’t stop, “ Zayn choked out, his voice sounding broken, and Liam couldn’t believe how lucky he was that he got to do this. That this gorgeous, practically unattainable model, was allowing Liam,  _ Liam _ , to fuck him like this. 

Liam was in far too deep.

“I’m gonna come …” Liam said, his hand tightening around Zayn’s waist. “Come with me.” 

Liam released Zayn’s wrists and his free hand wrapped around Zayn’s hard, neglected cock, his other hand still firmly on Zayn’s narrow hip, and started pumping him in time with his own thrusts. 

“Come … come inside me Li … wanna feel you, so hot and wet … please ...” 

“Fuck, Zayn ... Christ … oh god …  _ fucking shit, I’m coming! _ ” Liam released deep inside Zayn, nails scratching at his stomach, his hips stuttering and his vision going fuzzy. He didn’t realize that Zayn had come too until he felt his hand sticky with come. 

“Wow …” Zayn breathed out, slumping against the fridge with exhaustion. Liam pressed against Zayn’s back, kissing lightly across his shoulders, as he intertwined their fingers, resting them against the door. 

“Yeah … wow … “ Liam gasped, still inside Zayn, not wanting to move. But he had better things planned, so he gingerly pulled out and continued to kiss Zayn’s shoulders. Liam roamed his hands all over Zayn’s exposed, sunkissed skin, nuzzling against him, feeling happier than he had in a long time.

Liam then stood up straight and pulled up his briefs, giving Zayn a light kiss on the lips. “Come on, baby,” Liam said as he bent low and picked up Zayn, cradling him in his arms, “I’m gonna take care of you.” 

Zayn’s face lit up as he allowed Liam to carry him to his bed, and it was such a soft moment, Zayn wrapping his arms around Liam, pressing his face into his neck, that Liam’s stomach did a small flip. 

“I wanna take care of you, babe,” Liam said, “Can I do that?”

“Hmmmm, yes please,” Zayn said, his eyes closing, still in a haze, but his lips curled up in a smile that gave Liam the go ahead. 

Liam laid Zayn down gently on the bed, his head nestled in his pillows, and he climbed on top of him, attaching their lips once more. Liam kissed him deeply, their lips soft and wet, and Liam just held Zayn’s face, wanting to remember this feeling: the feeling of being complete. Zayn’s hands stroked up and down Liam’s back lightly, soothingly, and Liam just kissed him deeper, stroking his stubble with his fingertips. 

Liam kissed his lips lightly again whispering  _ so soft, Zayn, so gorgeous _ and then moved to his cheekbones. His lips brushed over them carefully, reaching his jaw, and then continuing down onto Zayn’s neck. He licked at his pulse point and nibbled all the way down to his nipples, sucking softly before leaving kisses all over Zayn’s belly. 

“You’re so beautiful Zayn, your body … your-” but Liam cut himself off before saying something stupid and way too soon. Instead he just shook his head, trying to not fuck up what Zayn was willing to give him. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world right now …” Liam finished, speaking in between kisses before sitting up and positioning himself between Zayn’s knees, spreading them apart slowly.  

“Fuck, Liam, you look … you look amazing,” Liam looked up between Zayn’s thighs to see Zayn gazing at him, his pupils still blown. 

“Gonna clean you up, ok?” 

“Shhhhhhit ….. yeah, yeah, that’s ok.” 

Zayn threw his head back as Liam parted his cheeks and ducked his head down. Liam licked a flat tongue across Zayn’s fucked rim, tasting his own come and Zayn’s sweat, licking his lips and then going back in. He licked in, pushing his tongue inside, lightly fucking it in and out, and then he added one finger, opening him up even further. 

“Oh babe, wow … feels … so … ” Zayn’s voice was shaking as Liam added a second finger and began scooping the come out of his exposed hole, licking it up as it dribbled out. Liam continued his work, fingering Zayn and licking him up until he was all clean, even sucking on the head of  Zayn’s soft sensitive cock for good measure. Zayn was kind and threaded his fingers through Liam’s hair while he was working, and the whole process was tinted by the beautiful morning sunlight pouring in through Zayn’s window.

All finished, Liam crawled back up to Zayn and Zayn met him with a kiss, whispering “Thank you,” as he rolled over and pushed Liam onto his back, draping himself over Liam’s chest. 

“I can’t believe we haven’t been fucking like this this whole time,” Zayn said. “Time wasted, honestly.”

Liam laughed out loud. “Yeah, we are stupid aren’t we?”

“Yeah .. we are …” Zayn replied softly. Liam could tell there was something else he wanted to say, but Zayn was keeping it to himself. “Lemme cook you breakfast, yeah? I was about to start before you rudely interrupted me-”

Liam laughed and smacked Zayn’s ass lightly, trying to sound mad “Yeah, cause you hated it so much.” But, in all honesty, he couldn’t really be mad when Zayn was kissing his neck, whispering about how much he loved absolutely everything about his ‘rude interruption’. Liam groaned against Zayn, who was insatiable, and kissed his lips. “I’ll help you with breakfast, up up.”

Liam sat up and got off the bed, extending his hand for Zayn to follow. 

Zayn accepted the help and they both got to their feet and giggled as they looked for clothes to put on. Zayn offered Liam a  _ Batman  _ shirt that Liam decided in that moment he was never giving back, and he threw it on. Zayn grinned, seeing Liam in his clothes, and once he was dressed in his sweats again, they went to the kitchen. 

It was oddly domestic, them cooking breakfast together, basking in their post sex glow. It was simple eggs and toast, but they moved around each other with little hip checks and light touches. Liam would stop and give Zayn a small kiss here and there while he cooked the eggs, closing his eyes and willing himself not to fuck him on the kitchen floor. And Zayn just smiled, kissing him back just enough as he continued with their breakfast.

They ate lazily on the couch, Zayn’s legs on Liam’s lap as they watched reruns of Family Guy, and Liam honestly felt like he was in a dream. 

But ...

What did any of this mean? Did Zayn like him? Like as more … Liam didn’t want to push his luck, so he just was gonna try and let this be … whatever it was.

But … he had to say something.

“Zayn?” Liam whispered as Zayn was drifting off on the couch, food all eaten and seeming content. 

“Mmmm, yeah?” Zayn blinked and looked at him expectantly. 

“So … whatever this is, and don’t worry you don’t have to say  _ anything _ , but … Harry can’t know.” Zayn quirked his eyebrows, so Liam continued. “Harry kind of made you off-limits to me … cause of work and everything … so like … if we want to continue … whatever this is,” Liam was failing at this so bad, but Zayn was just smirking, not helping him at all, “then we just have to keep it quiet, yeah? Just between us.”

“Just us …” Zayn said, sitting up on the couch and crawling over to Liam, straddling him slowly  as he whispered in his ear. “So we just have to fuck in secret?”

God in heaven, this man was going to kill him. 

“Yeah, Zayn, that’s exactly it.” 

***

Liam sat in his office, grinning stupidly at his phone the next afternoon. Zayn had had dinner with his older sister last night, so Liam left Zayn’s apartment around mid-afternoon, but not before pressing Zayn against the doorway and melting his mouth into Zayn’s once last time. Liam had felt nervous about leaving, and he wondered several times if Zayn really had a dinner or if he had lied to get Liam out of his place. His worries were pushed away, however, when Zayn decided it was a good idea to send him a string of explicit text messages, ones that were so good, he was rereading them now.

Thankfully, Zayn wasn’t due in the studio until tomorrow, and Liam was almost grateful for the break, because he was actually behind on work. Being around Zayn for the last 24 hours had been incredible, but intoxicating, and Liam was having trouble focusing with just the idea of him, let alone his actual presence. Harry was having a massive launch party for his current line in just two months and Liam needed to start planning immediately; Zayn and his perfect cock would have to wait.

He put the phone down, biting his lip at the last message he read (something involving Zayn, Liam’s tongue, and handcuffs) and he started sifting through his mountains of paperwork. 

***

“Payno!” Harry’s voice boomed into his office as his door was abruptly thrown open. 

“Thanks for knocking, Harry,” Liam said, rolling his eyes. It was late in the afternoon, and he was just finishing up for today, having made dozens of phone calls, reservations, and bookings. He had sent out invites and settled deadlines with models and agencies alike, and his brain was exhausted.

“I never knock, keeps the surprise alive,” Harry said in his usual cheery voice. “Anyway, are you all done here?” 

“Just about, actually, what’s up?” Liam said, putting all his files away and cleaning up his desk. He wanted to get home, eat chinese, curl up with Loki … and maybe text Zayn and see what he was up to.

“We’re going to Corden’s tonight, wanted to see if you wanted to come?” 

Liam thought for a second, his evening plans changing in his mind, suddenly getting more exciting. “”Actually, that sounds amazing.”

“Only one snag,” Harry said, looking at his fingers guiltily.

“What is it, Haz?” Liam furrowed his brow in confusion. 

“Well,” Harry said, “Louis is coming, obviously, and he’s invited … he’s invited Zayn … and I know you guys haven’t been getting on well and …” Harry trailed off lamely, sounding and looking like a little kid instead of his actual boss. Liam had to suppress a giggle because  _ oh yes, fuck _ he wanted to see Zayn tonight, and this was a perfect excuse to do just that without seeming desperate. 

Harry continued, still looking nervous. “I know I said that you couldn’t like, shag him or anything, but like you guys can still be friendly … I didn’t mean to create or rift or anything. We’re all adults right?” Harry looked so earnest, like he desperately wanted Liam and Zayn to be friends because Zayn and Louis were friends and Harry just needs everyone to get along. Liam wished he could tell Harry the truth; Harry was his best friend, but he couldn’t … they could lose their jobs, and it was just better this way. 

“Oh,” Liam said, trying to sound uncomfortable but okay at the same time. “Oh, well that’s okay. We don’t hate each other, Haz, he just likes to get under my skin is all.” Liam turned around, putting away all the files of the new models and Harry’s newest designs that still needed alterations away, suppressing a grin. 

“Great!” Harry sighed out with  relief, a massive smile on his face, “I … I really like Louis, and Zayn is his best mate, and I know we all work together but, like … I want this to work out.” Harry’s green eyes were so big and pure and Liam was happy that Harry was happy. Then suddenly his stomach flipped, filling him up with horrid jealousy; he felt sick. It was unfair. Harry was so happy and open and free about whatever was happening with Louis and Liam was just stuck in this impossible situation with Zayn. 

He didn’t even know what they were but even if he knew  _ did  _ know it didn’t matter cause they had to hide it. Liam wanted to parade Zayn around, if that’s what Zayn wanted … he would love to show him off the way Harry got to do with Louis. 

But he couldn’t. 

“It’ll be fine, Harry. Anything for you, mate,” Liam said, and he picked up his bag, having cleaned up his office for the day while Harry was talking, and he walked over to his curly haired friend. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said, and he kissed Harry’s cheek warmly, trying to calm the nerves he could see coursing through Harry’s lanky frame. 

“I’m sorry, I just ...” Harry took a deep breath and then the words just rushed out of him. “I asked Louis to be my boyfriend last night and he said yes!” Harry was fucking glowing and Liam was actually happy, the flood of jealousy in his stomach being washed away by his love for Harry. 

“Oh my god!” Liam beamed back at him, his eyes crinkling up, “that’s amazing!” 

“Yea, it is, it really is. And I just want everything to work out … I haven’t been this happy in so long ...” Harry smacked his own cheeks, as if to wipe away the ridiculous smile permanently etched there by Louis Tomlinson, but it was no use. Liam hugged him tightly, whispering  _ I’m happy for you _ and he meant it. 

But during his drive home, alone in his car, alone walking into his house, and alone in his bed, he felt his happiness shift and jealousy take hold again. 

***

Liam was nervous, but he shouldn’t have been. He knew Zayn was coming and he wanted to see him … and he could act like nothing was going on between them, right? 

Zayn walked into the bar, looking perfect in a white henley and tight black jeans, and Liam’s heart shot up into his throat. Zayn’s dark skin was very much in contrast with the white of his shirt, his hair swept up into a perfectly styled quiff, and Liam’s mouth was practically watering. Zayn nodded at the bouncer, looked around, and upon catching Liam’s eye, made a beeline right for him. 

“Hey,” Zayn said, knocking shoulders lightly as they leaned against the bar.

“Hey,” Liam mirrored, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to suppress a grin, and he turned his body instinctively towards him. “You look … you look great.” Liam bit his lip at his admission but was rewarded with a beaming smile.

“Thanks babe, you too,”  Zayn winked at him, turning to the bar and ordering them beers. 

The others came in minutes later, Liam quietly cursing their interruption, and everyone headed over to a booth.

Zayn squeezed in right next to Liam like it was nothing, and the evening continued on perfectly. No one seemed to notice their shy, desperately heated looks or the fact that Zayn’s hand was practically glued Liam’s thigh, making his whole body burn. Liam kept choking on his beer every time Zayn moved his fingers higher. Everyone was happy for Harry and Louis, Harry having told the whole table their good news, and Niall, Jade, Louis, Zayn, Liam, and even James over at the bar, cheered as they all raised a glass to the happy new couple. Zayn dug his fingers into Liam’s thigh during the toast and he almost spilled beer all over himself, Zayn giving a satisfied smirk as the table just cheered on, oblivious. 

Liam was getting antsy. It had been hours and he hadn’t be able to do anything to Zayn. His skin tingled with want, and his mouth watered every time he looked over at him, Zayn’s eyes fluttering, his pink lips hot and slick, his tongue peeking between them and teasing Liam to no end, whether on purpose or not.

“Bathroom,” Liam choked out. Zayn had started to lick his fingers, the chips he had ordered being so good he just had to, or he just wanted to fuck with Liam. 

Probably the latter. 

Zayn smirked at Liam’s words, and yes, it was definitely the latter.

Liam walked away, and he could hear Zayn saying he was getting up to get another drink. Liam’s heart started to beat a tattoo against his chest, his cock already half hard from anticipation, as he made his way quickly to the bathroom. 

He opened the door and waited. Zayn was gonna come, he knew it. He wasn’t being cocky, he just he knew he would. 

Liam heard him come in, and turned to face him, but before he could get a word in, Zayn had already backed him up against the wall and crushed their lips together. Liam sagged against him, his body burning with the relief of being able to touch him again after hours of teasing. 

“Hi,” Liam breathed against his lips, licking at Zayn’s plump bottom lip lightly  before sucking it into his mouth, eliciting a beautiful moan from Zayn. Zayn pressed him harder into the wall, his thigh pushing hard against Liam’s cock, and Liam just dug his fingers into Zayn’s ass, pulling him impossibly closer.

“Hi back,” Zayn whispered, his breathing heavy in his chest, and then he pulled away abruptly. Liam heard a whimper fall out of his own mouth, but Zayn smiled and cocked his head towards the handicapped stall. Liam mirrored his smile and followed him inside without missing a beat, locking the door behind them and then immediately attaching his lips back onto Zayn’s. Fuck, he loved this, loved that after weeks and weeks of needing Zayn and his body begging to touch him, he finally had permission. 

Zayn walked backwards, Liam following, their hips pressed hotly together as their mouths stole each other’s breath. Zayn’s back hit the farthest wall in the spacious stall and he grinned against Liam’s lips, his hands moving quickly to the button on Liam’s jeans. He unzipped and pulled them down like a pro, Liam gasping as Zayn pulled his briefs down and gripped his bare cock, his fingers already slick with precome.

“Did Daddy miss me?” Zayn said, and Liam actually growled, bucking up into Zayn’s hand, his vision going white just from those words.

“Fucking hell, Zayn,” Liam moaned out as he instinctively placed his hand on Zayn’s neck, pressing his fingers in right at his soft pulse point, forcing Zayn to look at him. Liam licked his lips as he saw Zayn’s eyes roll back, lack of oxygen sending him higher as Zayn continued to pump his dick. Liam felt like he was on cloud nine, watching Zayn fall apart as he himself was crumbling to pieces. 

Liam ducked his head down to Zayn’s ear and whispered, “What color, babe?” without reducing pressure, and he brought his face back to Zayn’s, their lips almost touching.

Zayn swallowed and Liam could feel his throat move against his hand, then he opened his mouth and whispered, “Green … green … don’t stop, please ...”

Zayn closed his eyes, looking so blissed out that Liam couldn’t believe he was able to witness such a beautiful sight. 

Zayn was incredible, pumping him so well, his hands moving with amazing finesse even though he was entering subspace at an alarming rate. Liam wanted his mouth all over Zayn’s lithe body, but at the same time, he just wanted to be still and enjoy the moment. Zayn’s eyelashes fanned out gorgeously across his cheekbones, his mouth parted slightly, his hair slowly starting to slick with sweat. Liam pushed his fingers in further and pressed his mouth to Zayn’s, not kissing him, just there, just contact, their heat exchanging as Liam shut his eyes tighter, Zayn’s hand becoming unrelenting and he knew he was going to come soon. 

He wondered silently if Zayn could come like this, just from getting Liam off and Liam’s hand putting constant pressure against his throat. He decided to voice his query as his other hand made it to the waistband of Zayn’s jeans. “Zayn,” he murmured into his ear, nibbling softly at his lobe, “Can you come like this, baby, without me even touching you? I can already feel how hard you are.” 

Zayn whimpered and nodded desperately against Liam’s grip, and his whimper turned into a guttural moan when Liam expertly undid his jeans and freed his cock, his hands never coming into contact. Zayn’s dick smacked against his white shirt and Liam quickly moved the fabric up, not wanting it to stain, not desiring any evidence of their indiscretions. 

“Baby, I’m gonna come soon,” Liam said again, because Zayn still had never stopped his assault on Liam’s cock, which was hard and red and leaking, this entire time; he was so worked up just by Zayn’s mere presence alone, he was surprised he lasted this long anyways. He loosened his grip on Zayn’s neck and kissed him roughly, mouth taking what he could get, and Zayn hungrily licked into his mouth.

Everything before this seemed like it occurred in slow motion, but now it was at full speed, hyper speed, and Liam pushed his mouth into Zayn, hitting Zayn’s hand away as he grabbed both their cocks with his own large hand and began pumping them with no mercy. Zayn buckled into him, having his cock touched for the first time and his airway freed; it seemed too much for him. He keened against Liam, muttering things Liam couldn’t hear as he wrapped his arm around Liam’s neck, slick with sweat now, and began kissing his throat, threatening to mark him, but Liam felt how soft his lips were and how light his tongue felt and he knew he was safe. Liam wanted to be marked but he knew couldn’t, it would be stupid and immature, no matter how much he wanted it. But maybe ... 

“Zayn,” Liam breathed, an idea coming to him. “I wanna remember your mouth later … can you mark me up, bruise me with your pretty mouth? ” Zayn looked confused until Liam flipped them around, letting go of their cocks as his back hit the wall, and he lifted up his own shirt exposing his chest. Zayn just smiled and needed no further instructions. He pressed his perfect lips to Liam’s ribs and began sucking and biting, and Liam held onto his hair because it just felt so fucking good. Like Zayn was claiming him, pressing him into the grimy bathroom wall, like he was saying with his teeth and lips and tongue that Liam belonged to him. 

Liam closed his eyes and felt, with absolute certainty, that it was true. He belonged to Zayn. 

***

“Tastes so good, Li,” Zayn said, licking the come off his fingers as Liam tucked himself back in, buckling his jeans. 

“You’re fucking something else, Z,” Liam said, now taking Zayn’s soft cock pushing it back inside his pants, doing up the other man’s jeans while Zayn continued to lick his fingers clean.

“You know you love it,” Zayn said, popping his thumb out of his mouth and kissing Liam, pushing his tongue inside and forcing Liam to taste their come mixed together, Liam having pumped them to climax together only moments before. 

“You’re gonna make me hard again,” Liam whispered, “and they’re gonna wonder where we went.”

“We’ll just say we went to have a smoke, no big deal.” Zayn said, like it was nothing. He was good at this.

And that’s exactly what happened. After they cleaned themselves up, they just went back to the table and sat down, saying they had a smoke, and no one gave them a look. Well, no one except Louis, but it was just a small half smile and it was probably nothing. 

When the night ended, everyone went their separate ways, and Zayn just gave him a look, something open and searching. Liam couldn’t put his finger on it, but then Zayn winked and walked away to hail a cab. “See you tomorrow,” Liam called. Zayn looked over his shoulder at him and bit his lip, smiling. 

Liam went off to his car, wondering if he should’ve offered to drive Zayn home, but that seemed too obvious. 

Liam eventually pulled into his driveway, licking his lips, still tasting Zayn there, and as his phone dinged with a new message from Zayn, Liam decided that this whole thing was working out perfectly. 

***


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn comes back from a weekend away and misses Liam more than he realized, more than he should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it has been an entire year. I moved jobs, apartments, and half way across the country not to mention I joined a new fandom. But I didn't forget :) I know so many authors say they will come back to their WIP and never do and I didn't want to do that. this project means so much to me i couldn't just abandon it. so here i am! 
> 
> This chapter is intense and I recommend reading back the last chapter (or the whole fic if its been awhile) to fully appreciate its content. I hope its worth the wait :)
> 
> Please enjoy. it means so much to me that you guys continue to support me after so long! you have no idea.  
> and as usual please please leave a comment if you liked this. any positive words are welcome and mean literally everything to me. 
> 
> Thanks to my editor and best friend liz (Dont_stop_larry) -- couldn't have done any of this without you <3
> 
>  
> 
> Trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> Mention of previous abuse, description of a panic attack, alcohol abuse, sexual and physical abuse.
> 
> please note before reading.

Zayn walked into the studio wearing his favorite black boots. Casual, but killer; he had an agenda. Zayn hadn’t seen Liam in three days. Three very long days while he was away visiting his family in Bradford, and now finally he was back. He desperately needed relief, in every way possible, and he honestly couldn’t wait for Liam to literally tear him apart and then piece him back together.   
It had been a long weekend.

  
Zayn genuinely adored his family. His sisters, mom, and baba were the most important people in his life, but he couldn’t truthfully say that on this particular trip, he wasn’t distracted by a certain Mr. Liam Payne. His phone had buzzed nonstop, so much so that his mum had said during one of their family dinners, with a certain bite to her tone, “Are you needed somewhere else, _mere laal_?”

  
_Yes,_ he had wanted to say, he really _did_ need to be somewhere else, judging by the explicit texts and mouthwatering selfies Liam had been sending him. But instead he had just smiled at Trisha, saying it was just work, nothing important, and he slid his phone away, inconspicuously trying to adjust his jeans. He had been insufferably hard all weekend, jerking off to images of Liam’s slack pink mouth every night, and now he finally got to see him.

  
Zayn would have preferred to see him last night, of course, but he had arrived so late that when he texted Liam, he hadn’t responded until morning, having already fallen asleep.

  
_Fucking wanker._

  
Now inside the studio, Zayn glanced down at his phone, biting his lip as he walked across the shiny tiled floor. He only had some fittings today – simple – and he slid quietly past the rush of people around him as he made his way to his dressing room, continuing his conversation with Liam from this morning.   
Zayn had woken up just a few hours ago to four new practically _desperate_ texts from Liam, and his face had split into a grin.

 

 **** _Liam: Fuck_  
Liam: cant believe i fell asleep babe.   
Liam: lemme make it up to you   
Liam: ; )

 

Zayn groaned aloud as he reread the messages. He had wanted to tease Liam right back, so he had decided to just send a quick text before having left the house.

****

**_Zayn: hmmm… ill think about it_ **

Liam’s response had been instant. Zayn’s cock grew harder.

**_Liam: ill make it worth the wait baby, dont worry._ **

But Zayn hadn’t missed a beat.

**_Zayn: missed out on what could’ve been an amazing night … for sleep smh_ **

And again, Liam had responded immediately with a string of texts that had made Zayn’s eyes roll back, making it quite hard to focus on the road. ****__  
  
Liam: Yes, BUT we have all the time in the world now.   
Liam: and I NEED time for what I want to do do   
Liam: Fuck, my cock has missed you so much.  
Liam: your mouth, your perfect ass   
Liam: Jesus, babe, I’m so hard just waiting for you  
Liam: When do you get here??

 

He hadn’t been able to suppress a grin during his drive at the image of Liam in his office glued to his phone, hard and wanting, because of _him._ **  
** Zayn had sent just one text back in response. Then he got out of his car and made his way into the building.

****

**_Zayn: Soon ; )_ **

 

It had been a few minutes with no response from Liam, and now that Zayn was almost to his dressing room, he decided to send one more.

****

**_Zayn: I just got to the studio, in my dressing room :)_ **

 

He opened the door to his room, and when he looked up from his phone he was met by none other than Liam Payne, who was sitting casually in Zayn’s chair, reading a _Batman_ comic.  


“Hey, babe” Liam said, beaming up at him, disregarding the shocked look on Zayn’s face, “I’ve been waiting.” He tapped his lap casually and Zayn practically sagged at the sight, he was so turned on. Liam looked _incredible –_ he was outfitted in a dark blue sweatshirt that stretched very nicely across his broad chest, blue wash jeans, and combat boots. His hair was up in a small quiff, but Zayn could detect some curls trying to break free. His skin was glowing, radiating, and he was smiling so hard, Zayn could see the dimple on his left cheek.  


Zayn knew instantly that, in this exact moment, he had officially fallen for Liam Payne. Against all better judgment, whatever he had told himself about this - whatever it was - being just sex, that it meant nothing, the way his heart swelled at the sight of this boy was the opposite of casual.  
In short, he was fucked.   


 Zayn had never shut and locked a door so quickly in his life, trying to regulate his breathing as every inch of his body screamed for Liam, and when he turned around again, Liam was still sitting down, smiling at him as he set the comic down on the vanity. Zayn didn’t wait; he knew what he wanted. Licking his lips, he walked over to Liam and crawled into his lap, sighing at the sudden contact of his body against Liam’s.  


“Missed you so much,” Zayn whispered as Liam grabbed hold of his small waist and pressed him down onto his lap.   


“Me too-” was all Liam was able to make out before Zayn slotted his lips against Liam’s. _Oh god_ , he’d missed this. The warmth of his mouth, the feel of his hands, the slick of his tongue begging permission. Zayn cupped his face, tracing the lines of his jaw and reveling in the feel of his stubble against his own smooth face.   


“I shouldn’t miss you this much …” Zayn whispered against his lips, fingers scratching at the back of Liam’s neck, needing more of him even as he sat fully on Liam’s lap now, and he immediately regretted the admission. _Too soon, Malik, too fucking soon._ “I just mean … I-”  


“Shhh, baby,” Liam cooed, kissing his lips softly, making Zayn’s heart ache in a way it shouldn’t, in a way it hasn’t … not since … “I missed you too, or did my dozens of texts not get that across?” Liam cupped Zayn’s face, his thumb stroking lightly against Zayn’s cheek, almost as if to wipe away a tear that wasn’t there. “ _I missed you,_ ” Liam whispered against his lips, and then he let out a light giggle as he kissed down Zayn’s neck. Zayn felt that this was all too fast, that he was falling off the edge and he needed to hold on, grab onto something. This was too dangerous, too messy, but he couldn’t let go. He needed to get ahold of himself, but Liam obviously couldn’t read his thoughts, because he was suddenly standing up from his chair, lifting Zayn up with him with absolute ease, and all Zayn could do was hold onto him for dear life. As if he’d wanted to let go, anyway.  


Liam cupped Zayn’s ass as he kissed him again, hungrily this time, and bit down on his plump bottom lip as he sat him down on the vanity. Zayn instantly wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist - their bodies had too much clothing between them, Zayn decided, so he broke away from Liam’s perfect lips, relishing in the whimper that escaped Liam’s mouth.  


“Off, now,” Zayn pointed at Liam’s shirt, his eyes alight, and with no hesitation, Liam lifted up his hands and let Zayn take it off. Throwing it on the floor, Zayn locked his eyes back to Liam’s - his soft brown eyes had turned dark with want, and Zayn dragged his focus down to take in how fucking gorgeous he was. “ _Fuck_ Liam -“ Zayn said, running his fingers across Liam’s warm skin, but couldn’t say anything else, because Liam put both his hands over Zayn’s own, holding them to his chest, before connecting their lips again.    


Zayn didn’t understand what they were doing or why it felt like this so quickly. They didn’t know anything about each other, mostly because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other for two seconds to have a real conversation, but Zayn wanted to know. He wanted to talk to Liam, watch movies with him, learn about his family and little quirks and how he takes his coffee in the morning, and whether or not he wants just a sub or if he wants more ...   


Zayn had done that. Been a sub without feelings, without love or connection, and he thought that’s what he had deserved, but no … never again.   


Amir had been strong, confident, commanding. He dazzled Zayn with his money and the ability to control people with just a smile and a nod of his head. They had met at one of Zayn’s first ever runway shows a few years back, and he had been hooked. Naive. Dumb. Vulnerable. At first, Amir had seemed proud of Zayn, eager to show him off and to everyone who saw them, and in the early days, they seemed happy and Zayn felt lucky. But it was short lived. Once Zayn agreed to be Amir’s submissive, he saw the real side. There was no love there. None. Amir had merely done those things to lure him in, and it had worked.   


It took Zayn a long time to realize he’d been tricked, but while he was in it, he couldn’t see. While Amir was fucking him dry, punishing him for lateness or whatever mistake he had made that day, the bruises he received felt deserved - Zayn felt like he was wrong and he let this man hurt him. It wasn’t until months after the start of the subtle abuse that Amir had smacked him across the face - after Zayn had begged for them to leave the house together, go out like they used to – and Zayn knew then that he had to get out.   


Even when he was packing his things haphazardly in his backpack, Amir had made it out to be Zayn’s fault. That he was weak and a terrible sub. That he couldn’t handle a real man, laughed and said for him to go get a female dom if he was that weak.  


Zayn left with tears streaming down his face, his face stinging, and his heart bruised along with his body.   
That had been almost three years ago, and Zayn still felt the heat on his face. Amir had reached out since, apologized for his actions … but the hurt was still there.   
So now what was Zayn doing? Falling into another trap?   


“Zayn … _Zayn._ ”  


Zayn heard his name and suddenly remembered where he was; sitting on his vanity, legs and arms wrapped around a very hard, very concerned Liam Payne.   


“Zayn,” Liam said again, his hands rubbing up and down his arms. “You ok? You disappeared on me for me bit.”   


Zayn shook himself. He was thinking too much. With Amir he had wanted love, or at least his idea of love. But he was smarter than that now.  


“Yes,” Zayn smiled up at Liam, fluttering his eyelashes just so, just for Liam. “I’m wonderful.” And he pulled the boy closer to him by his belt loops and let Liam kiss him again, losing himself all over again in the softness of his lips and warmth of his hands.   


Zayn’s heart knew Liam was different … he couldn’t explain why or how, but he just knew. And as Liam put his hand over Zayn’s chest, his heart beat faster and faster, and Zayn wondered if Liam could feel it, too.

***

 

“Zayn?” Zayn whipped around at the sound of his name and saw Harry at the door of his office.   


“Mr. Styles, you need me?” Zayn said, making his way to the bathroom across the studio center; he really had to clean up a bit more before going back to work. He had made Liam come so hard on that vanity, and he hadn’t been able to swallow all of it.   


“Come here when you get a chance,” Harry called back, and Zayn wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but he just nodded and went through the door to the bathrooms.   


_Fuck_  
  


He needed to get a grip. On something other than Liam’s dick, that is. _Which was really fucking perfect, ok?_ Zayn went into the handicap stall and tried to clean himself up. Liam had swallowed him down whole, so he was thankfully free from any mess on his pants, but he still felt wrecked.   


Was he really doing this again? Zayn gripped the cold edge of the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. Was he really going down this path _again_? He knew nothing about Liam, so why was he trusting him, allowing him in so blindly? Zayn rubbed his face, dragging the skin under his eyes with his fingertips and blinking back at his reflection.   


He felt empty.  


Amir had left him with nothing. He thought he healed, moved on, but obviously he was weaker than he thought.   


“You’re not weak.” Zayn said out loud. He had to - it was a habit that Louis got him into years ago and it stuck. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes, and when he opened them again, he straightened up. He was ok, at least for now, and he still had work to get done today. Plus he needed to see Harry. He could deal with this later, that is, if could keep his hands off of Liam long enough to do so.  
Zayn shrugged, repressing as usual, and left the bathroom.

 

***

 

“Malik, thanks for coming in,” Harry said, waving him in while he was sitting at his desk. Jade and another one of Harry’s assistants, Yung, was there as well, preparing papers, designs, and swatches, arranging them in order on the desk.   


“No problem,” Zayn said. He felt as he did when he was a child, when the teacher had asked to see him after class and he had no idea if they knew about the frog in the cafeteria incident. They hadn’t, and neither did Harry.

 

“So, Zayn,” Harry started, waving his arms in front of the myriad of designs on his desk, “here we have the final looks for our winter gala in just 8 weeks! I wanted to show them to you personally so you can have idea about how the show will look like for you.” Zayn took a step towards the table at Harry’s invitation and his mouth practically watered at the designs. They were _stunning_ ; faux fur and leather, silk and cashmere, boots and gloves and hats, and so many beautiful, wonderful, shining things. Zayn felt like a prince.

_A Prince …_

***

Zayn left Harry’s office thirty minutes later with his brain buzzing. This show was going to be amazing - now if he could only get his head out of his ass and stop fucking around with Liam, that might be helpful.

 

Ahh, who was he kidding? He was in it bad - he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to. Zayn took only a few steps, wondering if he could find Liam before he left, when he heard his name.

 

“Zayn? Oh yeah … he’s a bit difficult, I won’t lie.”

 

Zayn’s head whipped around at double speed. Once for the sound of his name, and another for the source of the voice, but he knew without a doubt who it belonged to. He saw that Liam’s office door was open only a few feet from him, and a big burly guy was standing in the doorway.

 

“Really?” The big man said, his back to Zayn, and Zayn was trying not to look like he was listening, but Liam and Harry’s office were only 10 ft apart. He didn’t have to strain too hard as he took out his phone, pretending to be engrossed, his ears burning. “You guys seem to be really close these days, getting on well, if you know what I mean.” Zayn swore he could hear the wink even if he couldn’t see it.

 

“What?” Liam spat back, and Zayn felt the words hit his chest. “Absolutely not. First, he is completely not my type; arrogant, know it all, pretty but in a dumbass kind of way. I like more substance to my men. But shit, you know I’m not supposed to talk like that about one of our _best_ models, am I? So just keep it to yourself, yeah?”

 

The world seemed to pause for a moment as Zayn registered the words, the cruelty, that had escaped Liam’s lips. Zayn was going to be sick. What the hell was going on? He was starting to feel dizzy and then he heard a louder noise _Oh fuck, Payno, he’s here._

 

It was a blur, but he saw Liam come out of his office and stare at him with a look of absolute horror on his face. Zayn didn’t stay. He fucking bolted. He was done for the day. Harry had already dismissed him. He had only hung around to see Liam and fuck all the good that did him.

_Just go, Zayn. Just go. Get out. Go home._

 

Zayn went down the elevator and to his car in what felt like seconds. He didn’t want to see Liam. Zayn didn’t fucking care that they were hiding it. Didn’t fucking care. Liam had no right to say those things about him. Spreading false shit just to save his own ass? No. Zayn was done. He had been through this. Fuck, maybe all Zayn was good for was to be tossed around and shit on by douche-bag Doms who think they’re better than everyone else. Zayn didn’t need this, but his head was reeling and all he could see or hear was Amir and everything he said; this was who he was. Someone to be spit on, used, and thrown out.

 

Zayn had thought Liam was different, but maybe he just proved Amir right … he couldn’t do any better … Zayn felt like he was going to pass out. Was this a panic attack? It had been a long time since he felt one, but … he needed to breathe, focus …

 

Ten minutes ago he had been ready to hand his heart over on a silver platter, and yet now he realized that he was just as dumb and naïve as he had ever been. Amir had been right all along. He was no good. Maybe he deserved to have people shit on him. That’s all he ever got, anyways.

 

Locking himself in the lobby bathroom for what seemed like longer than normal, he got his breath back. But not his heart.

 

Zayn drove home on autopilot.

 

He fed his cat, ate some ramen, and then texted Louis.

 

**Z: Out. Let’s go out tonight**

**Tommo: tonight? Yea, ok I’m down. I’m at Harry’s but he’s busy. I’ll meet you**

**Z: Lets go to Sunrise, I’ll text you when I’m heading out.**

**Tommo: sure thing.**

**Tommo: you ok mate?**

**Z: Super**

**Tommo: Yeah sure I totally believe that bullshit. Whatever. You can’t party alone. I’ll be there even if you won’t talk to me you wanker.**

Zayn shut his phone off and went to change. He sent another message before he called for his uber.

 

***

 

The club was packed and smoky. Bodies everywhere. Grinding, skin on skin. Zayn wasn’t even sure who he was dancing with half the time. A skinny blonde, a dark hair muscled guy, a curvy waitress. Everyone wanted him but he didn’t really see anyone. Just moved around. Shot after shot. Ignoring Louis yelling in his ear to slow down. He didn’t fucking care. He wanted to forget. He wanted to feel like shit. That’s all he was apparently.

 

The night was getting foggier and foggier. The bodies were hot against him. He closed his eyes and just moved to music. He wanted to forget, just to not feel anymore.

 

More shots.

 

And more.

 

Zayn’s vision was blurry. He was hungry, but for what? For pain, validation, release? He wanted to scream but nothing came out. Wanted to say he was worth it but his brain said no. wanted to call Liam and tell him he was a piece of shit, but Zayn felt like he was the worthless one. All those years of building himself back up and now he was down to ground zero. He was nothing. He wanted to disappear into nothing or feel everything. He wasn’t sure which would be more painful.

 

He needed someone else to take the reins for him. He didn’t want to be in control anymore. Everything hurt too much …

 

 The crowded dance floor didn’t notice his empty vibe or his cold sweats, and Louis had gone to the bathroom a bit ago, but where was he now? Zayn wondered dimly, but couldn’t register more than a small stoke of worry.

 

And then –

 

“There you are,” A low voice spoke behind him, and Zayn’s blood turned cold, then hot, and then chilling all over again; but he had asked for this.

 

Zayn spun around, blinking through the haze of his own mind “Amir … you came.”

 

“Course I did, sweetie,” Amir said, getting closer to Zayn, and he wanted to run, but he refused. He needed this. He wanted this. He _deserved_ this. “You call, I answer. Granted, it’s been a while, but the rules still stand. Daddy has always answered for you, even when you were a little brat.” He was whispering in Zayn’s ear now, a large hand on Zayn’s hip, and Zayn felt all the memories flood back, streaming in, consuming him. So much pain. He tried to blink back tears.  

_You deserve this. This is all you can get. Take it._

 

Zayn wanted to die.

 

Like a dog on a leash, he followed Amir to a back room, lifeless but willing, and he saw Amir slip money to one of the bouncers. Louis was nowhere in sight, but Zayn didn’t think he could have called out for him if he’d tried.

 

“So,” Amir started, sitting down comfortably on the large sofa. _This must’ve been a strip club before a night club_ , Zayn thought to himself as he surveyed the private room, his head swimming but his body igniting. Was it fear? Excitement? Dread? He didn’t know, but the surroundings seemed fitting. He felt like he was being used in a way the walls would approve of.  

 

 _You’re not worth it. Only this. This is all you’re good for._  
  


Zayn cricked his neck and looked back at Amir. “So,” Zayn said, slowly repeating the words back, shots still buzzing through him, each drop laced with self-hatred.  


“So, why did you message me to meet you here?” Amir was looking at him more candidly now. “I haven’t heard from you in, what, it’s been a few years now, hasn’t it?”  


“Yeah,” Zayn said, the words low in his mouth, “about that time, yeah.” He was still standing, but he wasn’t going to move until he was told, if he could move at all.  


“Did you miss me? Or did you finally come to your senses, huh?” Zayn heard his words and was suddenly reminded of the last words Amir had said to his face, spat at him as he walked down that cold street. _You’ll be back. You’ll be back once you realize this is all you’re good for, you piece of shit. And I’ll be here waiting for you._  
  


“You … you were right …” Zayn breathed out, and he looked down at his hands at the admission. He felt like another person. He felt like he was living a nightmare. He couldn’t believe he was back here, in front of this man he hated, but Liam proved two things to Zayn today - he could trust no one and he wasn’t deserving of a real love. That paired with the alcohol and now his toxic brain was giving him a big green light to ruin himself.   


Amir wasn’t real love. But it was real, brutal, face-value. What he saw was what he got, and Zayn needed real. Needed to feel something. To hate. To cry. To be treated badly. To fulfill his purpose.   
Amir laughed. “Come here, baby, daddy’s got you.” Zayn went over to him and looked into his eyes and suddenly he felt young again. Young and stupid – he remembered how easy it had been to fall so quickly for him. Amir was beautiful. Terrifying, but stunning … Maybe he wasn’t all that bad. Maybe Zayn could forgive the bad and see the good. The fact that he at least gave Zayn something. Attention. Anything. Wasn’t that good?  


“What was I right about?” Amir questioned, sitting Zayn down on his lap like a child, but Zayn could tell he knew the answer. “That you deserve this?” And he tugged at Zayn’s hair. Hard. Zayn let him.   
Earlier today, he was in Liam’s arms. Nice, warm, but betraying arms. He had felt safe, and yet now he was here. But here, at least he knew. At least here, he understood the rules.  
His head was starting to ache from all the shots from before, but Amir clearly didn’t mind. He was whispering in his ear now, “Wanna be good for me? Right here, in this room. Where people outside have no idea what a bratty little sub you are for daddy?” Zayn’s head pounded, but his cock twitched at the humiliation.  Amir did always know his weak points.   


“On your knees. Now”

 

***

 

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THIS?”   


Zayn winced horribly at the noise. His mind was fuzzy, and he was lying on the ground, cum on his mouth and on his chest. Amir had stripped him naked, bruised his ass without mercy or pleasure, then fucked his mouth, all while telling Zayn how this was it. How Zayn always came back, how he was just a toy to be played it and nothing more. But what a good toy he was, such a fun toy to play with. Zayn had let him – he had allowed himself to be violated mentally and physically. He felt empty. Taken advantage of, but … at least he knew his place.   


And now Louis was here, screaming and yelling. He was half the size of Amir and the bouncer but somehow he managed to kick both men out. Leave it to Tommo to get shit done. Zayn was so close to passing out, but Louis just lifted him up. He was saying something. _What happened? Did you invite him? Why would you do that? We’ve talked about this … let’s get you dressed. Let me take you home. Gotta clean you up. You’re gonna be ok. I have you now._  
  


Zayn let Louis take care of him. He let his best friend dress him, clean him up, give him water. And then he was being pushed into an Uber, along with Louis himself, off to their apartment. Zayn didn’t say a word. He was slowly sobering up, and with that, he slowly realized what had happened. Louis held him in the car and Louis walked him up the stairs and through the door and then suddenly everything came crashing down on him.  


“ _Liam,”_ Zayn fell to the ground and broke out in hysteric sobs.   


“It’s Louis, you tosser,” Louis said, but still he crouched down next to Zayn and held him. Wrapped his arms tight around Zayn and just held him while he cried. Zayn was unleashing, releasing the floodgates. Tears flowed out of him like water from a faucet and his shoulders wracked with the effort. “Mate, what happened? Why did you go with him? Did you want that to happen? What happened today? You told me you were over that stuff. Over him. Please talk to me. You know he’s a royal piece of shit and treats you like dry sod, so why?”  


Louis was saying so much, but Zayn couldn’t respond, not fully. He just continued to sob. Everything came out. Not just Amir or Liam, but all of it. Everything he had pent up … He just cried. His face hurt, his whole body ached, his chest heaved, and he sobbed for what felt like hours, but it could’ve just as easily been moments. He was shaking, but Louis just held onto him. Feeling Louis’ safe arms, something he could actually truly hold onto, started to ground him. Finally, he whispered. “I’m the piece of shit, Louis … that’s, that’s why I called him … I don’t deserve any better, so … I just thought--”  


“You thought that visiting your old ex for a good ass whooping would make you feel better?” Louis looked at him, his blue eyes extremely serious. “Zayn, that’s not ok. It’s not healthy. He’s not good for you. He literally makes you feel like trash. What happened with Liam? I thought everything was going so well for you guys, apart from the secret relationship no one can know about.” Louis winked, trying to throw some humor in there like he always did, but Zayn wanted to throw up.  


“His fault. He …” Zayn didn’t even want to say the words – he felt like he was choking on them.   


“He what? Did he hurt you? What happened?”  


“No … He trashed me. Told people at the studio he hated me, said … said horrible things …” Saying the words out loud maybe Zayn feel stupid – like he had overreacted. But Louis hadn’t been there, he hadn’t heard the sound of Liam’s voice.  


“That … I mean, that’s harsh, mate, but did you ever think he was saying this to protect you guys? A dumb move to throw people off? You guys could get into big trouble, yeah, so …”  


Zayn knew that Louis was speaking the truth, but he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear that he had overreacted, that he let his mouth be raped over his dumb insecurities.  
He really was a piece of shit.   


“Zayn … I’m not going to tell you what to do. Except for staying the fuck away from Amir cause … Jesus, Zayn what were you thinking? But what I will say is that the few weeks you been hanging around Liam, you’ve been different. Better. And I know Liam, a bit, at least, and he’s a standup guy. The only reason he would have said those things was to protect you.”  


“In the end, they’re all the same Louis. They’re all just like Amir. So why don’t I just stay there and let myself be treated how I deserve?”  


 “Shut the fucking fuck up, _now_. We’ve been through this. Those are lies. Lies. Amir spun those to you. They. Are. Not. True. And don’t you dare let a nice boy like Liam go because he made a dumb mistake. Don’t make him out to be fucking Satan. You know Satan, his name is Amir, and I wanna kill him with my bare hands.” Louis was talking so much but Zayn was actually listening. No one could get through to him like Louis could. “You can’t let this fear stop you. Liam is good. And if he’s not, he’ll answer to me … but … just fucking talking it out with the bloke before you almost get yourself killed. And also,” Louis held out his hand, “give me your phone. I’m deleting and blocking Amir asswipe’s number.” Zayn handed over his phone without really thinking about it. Once Louis gave the phone back, he announced that it was bed time. Louis helped him wash up, change, and get into bed. He even stuck around to give him water and medicine, and then he tucked him in. As soon as his head hit the pillow, Zayn was asleep.

 

***

 

Zayn woke up, bleary eyed and sore. Blinking a few times, he stretched and then –

 

“Zayn, you’re awake.”

_Liam._ Oh god. Zayn’s eyes flew open. There he was, Liam Payne, sitting on a chair not three feet from his bed. What the fuck was he doing here? Why? Who? Zayn’s head was pounding and he wanted to cry, but it was as if he used it all up last night. Was it last night? Zayn didn’t even know what time it was, or the day, or how long he had slept.

 

But Liam was here. He had come. He was there for Zayn … or was he? Terror and want and confusion filled Zayn and he couldn’t process much, but … Liam was here. And Zayn felt … he felt good about that. Soft … safe … It was like his body recognized him as the complete opposite of his abuser from only a few hours ago. Like Liam was the antidote to his pain …

 

“Louis told me to come, said you weren’t ok, that you needed … well _… me._ ”

 

Zayn didn’t know what to say.   


“Zayn … Louis told me about last night about …. Everything and –“

 

 That was it, that was all it took and suddenly Zayn was crying all over again. _So much for being done._

 

He was weeping, sobbing, and suddenly against his better judgment, like a child, he made grabby motions with his hands for Liam.

 

Liam locked eyes with him. He looked so nervous, Zayn saw his eyes. He saw so much sadness in them. Sadness for him, for what had happened to him. He saw the hesitation …

 

“Liam … It’s ok, I … please just … hold me … if you want …”

 

And then Liam was just ,there, in his bed holding him. Like he asked.

_Warmth._

_Touch._

_Home._

 

Liam smelled like vanilla and was so soft and so solid. Zayn cried, tears spilling over his cheeks, and Liam just wiped them away.

 

“Zayn … I’m right here. You’re ok. I got you. You can cry. I’m right here.” Liams voice was shaking, Zayn could feel it vibrate against him.   


Zayn caught his breath for a moment, and whispered, “Please don’t hurt me” – Liam was here, comforting him, giving him everything, but how could Zayn be sure? How could he know Liam was different?

 

“Oh Zayn …” Zayn heard Liam’s voice break with emotion, like he was on the verge of tears himself, but he continued. “Louis told me … everything. I’m so sorry, but he told about that fucking scum bag. About your ex and what he did, what he used to do. What he said. And Zayn … I am … I am so, so sorry.” Now Zayn could hear Liam’s tears, feel them drip onto his own face and mix with his own. “You don’t deserve that and … what … what you heard yesterday, it wasn’t true! None of it. I swear! I … panicked and said mean shit cause I was terrified he knew, and I shouldn’t have said it and I am so sorry.” Liam was holding him so tight but so delicately, like he might break, and honestly, Zayn felt like he was one moment away from shattering. But here, with Liam, body against body, Liam stroking his hair and his face, soothing him -- Zayn just drank him in. Like a drug … like his antidote.

 

“You are none of those things. You are kind and caring, and beautiful and talented, and more than I could ever hope or want, and I’m so … so sorry.” Liam’s voice cracked, and Zayn felt the honesty, and it broke him … but in a way, that made Zayn feel like it was piecing his crumbled heart back together. “I’m sorry I made you feel that _bad_. Bad enough you wanted to go back to _that._ But I can promise you that I’m not like him … nothing like that … anything we ever do is for you … all for you, for want you want and deserve and to make you happy. You only deserve happiness, and if I can give that to you, I want to. If you’ll let me … If you give me a second chance. Even if it’s just to hold you like this, it will be worth it.”

 

Zayn wasn’t crying anymore, but he’d left his head resting on top of Liam’s chest as he had rambled on and on. He listened to every word as it mixed with the sound of Liam’s heartbeat. Every single word. Could he trust. Could he try?

 

He wasn’t sure. But in this moment, he felt safe and cared for. At that was what mattered. And then he was drifting off to sleep again, safe in Liam’s arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
